Can you satisfy all the desires of your partner?
By samson1
@samson1 (738)
Jamaica
June 25, 2012 4:35pm CST
In your estimation, you think that you are having a great relationship with your partner, over the years. However, recently, you started to notice that there is a gradual change in how your partner related to you. On inquiry, you were told something that 'shot' your ego.
Mylotters, have you ever been told by your partner (or someone close to you)that he/she is feeling less comfortable in their relationship; as based on how things are going on between both of you, your partner feels 'less' of a woman, or man in the relationship? Are the complaints valid?
4 responses
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
25 Jun 12
I have never been told this and I hope I will never be told that by my husband. But I tell him all the time if something is wrong in the marriage and I don't realize it, I want him to tell me right away as soon as he starts feeling that way. At the beginning of feeling different about the marriage there could still be a way to "fix" it. If he waited too long it might be too late by then. I hope you both seek some help with this and I hope the relationship can be repaired... 
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
26 Jun 12
I think a marriage or any relationship is communication and compromise. I do not have any rules for or from my husband. We are not father/daughter, we are husband/wife, BIG difference.
I think it should be talked about and you should both find the perfect place for BOTH of you to place the keys. If you like one place for them, put them there. If she likes a different place she should put them there. They should be in those specific places so they are not lost somewhere. But it should be talked about and not demanded. If my husband bossed me around all the time, we would be divorced!
We talk to each other openly. We do not demand or talk down to each other. NO relationship/marriage will last forever that way. One will eventually get tired of having another parent around! There is no need for rules or regulations unless your talking about a child/children. No adult should be treated like they are stupid or at the age of a child...
Just my opinion of course, but I do have an amazing marriage and we have been through a LOT in 8 years and made it through it all... =)
@samson1 (738)
• Jamaica
26 Jun 12
True words, LovingMyBabies, true words. I would'nt want you ar anyone to be told that at all. However, sometimes, people want to extent their pervilages beyond the established or defined personal/private boundaries, for selfish reasons. What do you do in this regard?
For example,suppose the established bourdaries for personal security requires that the keys are kept at a specific location in the house, but your partner wants to defy that rule- by placing it anywhere in the house. In their opinion, this action is done by them to show that he/she has the feedom to operate without being reminded of the requirement of predictability, and practicallity in locating the keys; irrespective of the possibility of experiencing the situations when moments of crisis can occur! Would you enforce the discipline or allow for your partner to feel comfortable doing something that may cost you, and/or your household potential or actual harm?
What do you think?
@PhillyDreamer (3039)
• United States
25 Jun 12
This sounds serious. Like breakup serious. You and your partner might need to seek out some counseling, if you want to keep this relationship.
@samson1 (738)
• Jamaica
26 Jun 12
Hello PhillyDreamer, how are you? In this case, remember that both of you have been having a great relationship over the years. The question is: would'nt you want to examine the complaints and the rationale behind these comments/concerns to determine if they (the complaints) are reasonable and valid before considering separation as an option?
For example, if the arguments forwarded are reasonable to you, then perhaps, it would be important for you to consider adjusting your behavior/attitude towards your partner; in order for your partner to regain the sense of security of tenure in the relationship. However, if the reverse is true-that is, if you feel the agruments forwarded are invalid, if there is still enough reason (in your mind) to make the effort at holding the relationship together, then it may be worth it to seek some counselling. What do you think?
@PhillyDreamer (3039)
• United States
26 Jun 12
Thats why I recommend counseling. I dont believe this type of issue can be worked out using normal communication. Mainly because it seems like the partner in this scenario has waited till you noticed a difference before admitting something was wrong.
@GemmaR (8517)
•
26 Jun 12
I don't think that anyone is perfect, and nobody would be able to satisfy every single desire that their partner should have, but I think that one of the things about being in a relationship is that you just have to accept people for who they are and what they can provide for you. I know that I am always going to try my hardest to be the person who I know I can be, and I will do everything that is within my power to keep my partner happy. But nothing in life is perfect, and unfortunately this can sometimes include your relationships as well.
@Bhebelen14 (5194)
• Philippines
5 Jul 12
I know that I have a great relationship with my husband even from the start of our relationship. Were been together for 7 years and we experienced lots of trials in our relationship. We know both our weakness and strength which help us to understand each other characters. But of course there are time that I asked my husband if his feeling changed towards me but he said that the first time he saw me he already fell in love and until now when he see me in the morning he is fell in love like before.We don't have any complaints to each other or even our relationship were just thankful that after all the hardship and sadness were still together and love each other.
