It is tiresome

I sometimes feel that way in many occasions. I even wanted to start a discussion similar to this. I think you would agree when I say that sometimes our kindness and generosity just gets abused, that's how I feel it. I feel that I am being too kind or too generous and people take this as a weakness and abuse it.

That's not fair you can't go aroung constantly looking after other people you do have your own life aswell. Maybe you could tell these people that is making you tired and that you would appreciate there help hopefully that should give you more time to relax and enjoy life. In a household it shouldn't just be down to one person to do all of the cooking and cleaning all of the chores should be split between the people that live in the house.

I can understand the situation. I think you have to be honest with the people around you. Tell them that they need to do their part in the household chores. That's too much for you to be slaving it for everyone. People have the tendency to abuse kindness and weakness.

I could understand your situation. You are right, when you don't make them happy more, they will ask this and that...it happens to me and my boyfriend. I makes him happy and forget my own life...till one day i found that it is not good if i still do like that then i change back to be as who i am then he blames that i am not a person who he knows...However i won't be change another person to make him happy only and he just receives it only and never think of making me happy...it is very tiresome in relationship...

Hi there Echoforever, I think you needed to think about yourself at least. Ourselves is definitely very important. And if you are willing to change...(for the better)...then be it. You should make yourself happy for the things that you do and for the things that you wanted to do. Though, you can also make other people happy...but you must give the priority to yourself. That would make you appreciate your life more and would feel the worthy of life. Happy Mylotting.

Hi friend, sad to hear about this.Don't worry, surely you will get a helping hand soon, my wishes for it. Do you work and don't expect from others, if you help a lot to others, surely they come forward to help you whenever you needed.

You have to do what makes you happy along with making others happy too! Sounds like they are walking all over you... That is sad that no one will help you. I think that you need to talk to them and say seriously you guys need to chip in and help out once and awhile cause you are not going to do everything for them any longer

hi echoforever you are way too nice as I have always been but comes a time when people just expect you to always do that as thats what they expect you to do.so schock them. do not cook at thing for them until someone volunteers to wash the dishes. that will shock them all and be worth it too.no fuss just quit on the job until someone helps with the dishes.

Echo, this sounds so familiar to me. I go through the same thing. My family expects me to always do things for them and I do. I have always been this way. So, they just know I will do whatever they need me to. It does get tiresome. I am tired of doing this... Now that I need help, guess who is there to help me? You guessed it, no one. There comes a point in time where you have to make yourself happy and not everyone else. I am starting to learn that finally.

Its really Good. When others feel Happy, you too you are the reason for their happiness. When you fail to make others happy, just try to refresh. Refreshing may be anything like sleeping, going alone, having food etc etc, but don't feel bad about yourself.

Hi echoforever, I would encourage you to change that pattern and the people in your life might not like the change. It's a change that would be in your best interest. It sounds like you've allowed the people close to you to think you're their slave. We teach people how to treat us which is why it would be good to stop accommodating them like you've done in the past. I was that kind of Mom, too. I was very accommodating with both my children and now I live alone where the only person I take care of is Me. If other people demand things of me they might be setting their selves up to be disappointed because I no longer meet their demands. Good luck with initiating a change that is in YOUR best interest.

It sounds like you still have not mastered the art of asking people for what you believe to be reasonable. It's no fun just suffering in silence while people don't even know you're unhappy. You gotta speak up in life sometimes!

I understand, such is the burden of a mom always pleasing others, i hope this site gives you some me-time to unwind and even a bit of happiness. Just do what you can each day.

It is never too easy to try to get along with others to the point of compromising what we feel. This early we should learn to communicate what we feel rather than just keeping it to ourselves. The result might not be beneficial if we keep things to ourselves for too long. It maybe hard at first but it takes a lot of guts and maturity to be firm on certain things. It is only when people see and feel that you have limits when it comes to dealing them, then they will know when they have crossed the line. All the best to you !

Sometime people will do anything unless you ask them directly. Why not say, :"I'll wash you dry, and you put them away and if you cannot leave them on the counter. They might think that you do not trust them with the dishes and think that you think they might break them.

I'm the same way completely. I always throw out my own emotions and feelings for other people's. I've had friends say it's a horrible way to do things. but eh, I don't know how else to do it. I just want to see everyone happy no matter how I feel about it. It's not that I'm a pushover, or that I let people walk all over me. But I have this need to be friends with everyone. For some reason I feel as if I need to have a ton of friends to be happy. I know that's probably not a good way to look at it, but it's how I've lived my life now. My problem is I never feel like anyone appreciates anything I do. Which becomes a huge problem. But as long as I can continue to keep those emotions hidden, I keep pushing on and making people happy. :)

echoforever My advice to you is Just be you don't try to live your life pleasing others. JUST BE YOU AND BE REAL. Another thing that is missing for you is communication. Tell them what you want. They can't read your mind a friend told me that one day and it works just communicate......

hi echoforever i think they expect you to do things for them because you made them to, well its just my opinion, but just like what you said you do things willingly like washing those dishes. there are some who would take that as an advantage, if i were them i will not touch those dirty dishes because i know that you will do it for us, im expecting you to do that. we all know that what you are doing is good but you should tell them what you really feel . . . let them know.

it is too tiresome to think of people that you do not know and do not have any relationship with. what i did is that and i always go with the saying 'mind your own business' just mind it when hurt comes into place.

most of the time, i also experience this whenever i go home. i usually come home late from school and of course i am so tired already from all the school stuffs and all.. it is so annoying and depressing that whenever i arrive home hoping that at last i will be able to relax and do whatever i want to do , but instead household chores are left undone just waiting for me to be finished - dishes, unclean dining table, garbage, laundry and many more. What's more frustrating is knowing that the people are doing NOTHING just watching tv, napping or using the computer. BUT! :) what makes me do those tasks anyway is putting always in my head these words: "You are a christian and a christian should learn to be a servant just like what Christ has taught us" I am a christian and that makes me happy and motivated to do work without grumbling and grudge because i am doing it for God's sake. :) so.. if you're a believer, then my advise for you is choose Christ as your model. :) i Hope this makes a point :)