On Friends Who Borrow Money - The Final Part
By Raine38
@Raine38 (12250)
United States
July 18, 2012 6:24am CST
If you have responded to my first post of the same title as above (http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/2679697.aspx), well I think that tonight she finally got the message that I cannot lend her the amount of money that she needed but I am willing to lend her a smaller amount (which she again declined). And that I'm still willing to help her out with bank matters should she decide to have her debt re-structured.
After getting the money deal out of the way, we started talking about other stuff like our husbands, our work, places we've been. Im seriously having a good time catching up with her! Then I have to log off to prepare our dinner. When I came back on, I cannot see her pictures anymore on Facebook. A quick check showed that yep, she deleted and blocked me off her list :( I do not have her email add, not even her number (as I've said, we just got together again 3 weeks ago thru Facebook).
I feel bad, sad, a little guilty, I don't know lol!
1 person likes this
7 responses
@Graceekwenx (3160)
• Philippines
18 Jul 12
Raine... You were only trying to help... dont feel guilty... to be honest, i think she is a b i t c h.
1 person likes this
@sbucu57 (55)
• Philippines
18 Jul 12
You should not be Raine38. It only showed what kind of person she was. If she was your real friend, she would understand. Besides when you are borrowing money, no matter how much there will always be two answers , yes or no. And you just have to live if the person does not have anything to spare.
On the contrary, you should be thankful. At least you have gotten her out of your system who value your friendship for one thing. Money reasons. Real friends maybe rare, few even, but I believe true friends are there for you through thick and thin.
All the best to you and your family !
@scorpiobabes (7225)
• United States
26 Jul 12
Raine,
You shouldn't feel bad or guilty. She apparently felt that if you wouldn't give her the money she wants, that she no longer wants to associate with you. She's a leech and in the long run, you're better off.
I had a friend that I reconnected with as an adult. Things went well, but then I began to have misgivings about our relationship. Alone, everything was fine, but when we were in a group setting with more of her friends, she began to join in the group when they gave me a hard time. I just stopped calling her one day-I was done with her two-faced drama. I went through that in middle school at age 12-why should I do it again 26 years later? I waited a while before deleting her from my Facebook friends though; and frankly, I don't care about what's happening in her life. I do miss when we DID get along well and we chatted nearly every day; but she kicked me when I was at my lowest and never made a real apology.
@scorpiobabes (7225)
• United States
7 Aug 12
You ever think about blocking them on Facebook so that they can no longer try to reach you through FB? I actually dropped one woman that felt she had the right to psycho-analyze everything about me-um, you're not a therapist and I wouldn't hire you anyway, ya know? I don't think that you don't like the people from your past so much as it appears that you have outgrown them. Good luck.
@nixxx05 (309)
•
6 Aug 12
Sorry to hear that. Sometimes, most of people are like that. Sadly but true. I also have a group of friends when i was in elementary they are always bullying me, always borrowing stuff/things from me, since i treasure the friendship with them, i always lend them my stuff. Now, whenever they send a massage at facebook to keep in touch i always rejecting their invitations. I also talk to them but inviting me to catch up things, having coffee etc... i always make an excuse, It's not that i am angry with them but i don't like them anymore. after elementary days, i didn't keep in touch with them. sorry but it wasn't my fault anymore.
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
18 Jul 12
It's not your loss. 
Some people just can't take the disappointment handed over them to others because they expect too much. At least you won't be a victim and you won't be pestered by her anymore. But I understand the feeling though, a part of me if I were in your shoes would feel a bit sad, but guilt would not be something deserving a mention - you would be feeling more guilt if you betrayed yourself by not telling her the truth that you cannot help her with the amount she requested.
Some people just can't take the disappointment handed over them to others because they expect too much. At least you won't be a victim and you won't be pestered by her anymore. But I understand the feeling though, a part of me if I were in your shoes would feel a bit sad, but guilt would not be something deserving a mention - you would be feeling more guilt if you betrayed yourself by not telling her the truth that you cannot help her with the amount she requested. @Raine38 (12250)
• United States
18 Jul 12
Thanks for putting it that way, but I think I also had my own expectations from her: I expected that I am getting my old friend back, when in fact things could have changed dramatically for her that she could be a different person now, definitely way different from the high school girl that's my good friend.
1 person likes this
@BabyCheetah (1911)
• Australia
18 Jul 12
I did respond to your last discussion and I'm glad she didn't take a penny off of you. As I said people like that just want your money. If you had given it she would have disappeared and deleted you from FB anyway. Sorry to say but good ridance to bad rubbish. I know I'm repeating myself but as I said in the other discussion, real genuine friends do not badger you for money and then make you feel guilty when you can't lend them any! 
@BabyCheetah (1911)
• Australia
18 Jul 12
You're a very nice and understanding person, I guess if you have been in that situation you would understand better than me. I hope you can find more friends that you can spend your time with. And yes MyLot is certainly a lot better than wasting it on Facebook all day 
@Raine38 (12250)
• United States
18 Jul 12
Thanks BabyCheetah, like I said I'm just a bit sad that we have to part this way. The end of anything that was once good is always depressing. I do not make friends that easily and the few that I have are either so far away from me or like her, just had no way of getting in touch.
I am quite relieved that I don't have to play dodge ball once again, I will admit to that. And despite everything, I still hope the best for her. I know how it is to be in debt especially if you are in a foreign country as I used to work in that country as well and let's say my job involved reconciling debts.
Anyway, at least i discovered mylot which takes my time off of Facebook lol!
@Daisy_22 (1229)
• Philippines
22 Jul 12
it's not surprising anymore.We can say that she is just a users and don't even tag her as a real friend because they way she acted seems she never does.Don't regret with your decision,and even feel guilty since she's not worth it.You'r willing to lend her but she also needs to understand that you can't lend her the whole amount.You also have some priorities and that money is your savings.She is not open minded. For my conclusion I guess she made friend with you because she can benefit something from you.Sad but don't be for that kind of person is worth forgetting for.
@nixxx05 (309)
•
21 Jul 12
Hi Raine38, Why you would feel guilty? You are the one helped her and she is now hiding from you. Sorry for the words but i think she just used you to borrow money. You are so kind dear! Don't think of her anymore, Next time be careful okay?
Karma to her and Good Karma to you dear!
