What's wrong with fixed marriage?

An arranged marriage would never work for me because I could NOT allow someone, even my parents, to dictate who I would be intimately and personally involved with. As an individual I want my freedom to make my own choices.

I belong to two generations before you. we had arranged marriage. luckily my children also had arranged marriage. you can have love marriage with a person you start liking after 22 years. then only you will have balanced views not with a person you met when you were in school or college. wishing you a successful love marriage life.

Fixed marriage is not common in our country therefore it is hard to understand others tradition. For those who lived in countries that observe/practice fixed or arrange marriages it is not an issue for them. But for those who are born from such culture- it's hard to digest. All I can say is- I am thankful I was not born from such tradition.

Personally, I don't see any good in fixed marriages for me. I'm the type of person who can't even kiss a person that i don't feel any emotions at all. So how do i sleep with this man if he's just someone my parents arranged me to marry? Like you i want to marry the person i am in love with and to whom I can be happy with forever.

Arrange marriage is not a good thing. Two people coming together just because their parents tell them to is wrong. I want to fall in love with whomever I choose. Arrange marriage, I guess is more for business person than love I guess.

There is a compromising choice.For arranged marrage, they should get to know each other for some time. If suitable, get marriaged. If not, break up. I think that will be like the love marriage. Because love marriage is also from stranger to lover. That's my own opinion.

True, I think fixed marriage in the long run is not helping their children decide on their own and be responsible for the decision they make. I think this might be convenient for those children that doesn't want to venture out and just waits for their parents to decide for them but I think we should teach children to decide for themselves. I think many parents dread the scene seeing their children failing but I think they should learn from the mistakes they make and learn to stand on their own especially when choosing who they are supposed to be married. I think it is an individual decision and not from the parents. Parent's responsibility is limited only to providing the best for their children but not to decide for their personal choices in life.

In some cultures a family relies on the parents arranging the marriages of their children and this works for them. Some countries where this custom is still in use are slowly becoming Westernised so the old customs do not sit well with young people. I think though that as they give away the old customs and traditions that the strength of the unions not arranged will falter...just as so many Western unions end in divorce.

Hi Daisy, I think it depends on the culture, as arranged marriages work out very well for some people. It isn't the norm in western society, yet with more than half our marriages ending in divorce, can we really say that our way is better? Blessings.

i wouldnt want that also. i think we should all have freedom to choose the guy we want to love. what if you marry a guy that wont love you? that will cheat all the time? i dont want that for my future^^ i want to be happy with a guy that loves me^^ that everyday says to me how important i am in his life. i dont want to be with a guy that wont make me happy. fixed marriages shouldnt exist. everyone should be free in love^^ maybe in the future it will end^^ i wish so for the sake of some unhappy people. even more those arabic women that sometimes are mistreated by their husbands. i heard so many stories here in my country about that. really sad.

Not only fixed marriage but now divorce cases is also happening in love marriage. But fix marriages are broken more both husband and wife not understand to each other.

I live in the UK and it isnt in our culture to arrange marriges we really just marry for love. If the people want to have an arranged marrige then there is nothing wrong but people should be made to marry if they dont want to.

Actually some Indonesian conservative parents still use the same method . The parents will choose the family which is close to them , rich and honored. Basically there's no parents who want to hurt their children. They only want the best for the child. But, the things happened - the traditional culture has been mixed with other ones-, people nowadays couldn't be compared by the ones away back. But as a moslem, I have to marriage with someone on approval by my parents. It says that God's blessings are on parent's blessings. But I'm glad to know that my parents let me choose by myself since my parents trust me that I won't choose someone who doesn't have a faith to the God :)

I can't say fixed marriage is wrong/not wrong. It depends, through traditions some were too obedient to follow that and have a happy ending. Some kids were too dependent to their parents they don't have decisions of their own so parents know best for their children choosing the right one whether it turns good or not. That's fate. Even to those who are independent, they have a freewill to choose, even they choose sometimes they had a bad choice :) . For my opinion in fixed marriage Asian women will have a happy ending marriage as long as the man appointed to them was kind, loving, thoughtful,God's fearing and well off. Women are soft heart and can easily be tickled by men :).

Even though I chose my husband, I know a lot of "arranged" marriages that worked great, including my both grandmothers' weddings. Nothing is only whit or black, there are grey and also pink areas in arranged marriages. For example, you can be sure that you will marry inside your culture, your religion. Marriage is hard and requires lots of compromises, without having also the culture/religious items above the regular problems.

In this twenty-first, fixed marriages still happen. Fortunately it is on the decline. It may be in the Asian community or in televisions. As you mentioned, to improve business dealings, it is possible. People of today wants to marry the one he or she loves or else it may lead to extra-marital affairs which may destroy the arranged marriage. Isn't it better to marry the one who loves rather the one whom you love?

Love or arranged marriages they boil down to working on them for their success. What one sees before marriage with the couple being in love changes in leaps and bounds once they stay together. The real 'people' surface and so whether in love or arranged it has a lot to do with adjustments.

I think both have pros and cons. If arrange marriage is imposed upon youths to accept irrespective of their belief and choice then it must be opposed and rejected. I will never support such kind of marriage. Though it is told that marriage is made in heaven and the intuition is observed on the earth. On the other hand love is called blind. So there should be a negotiable approach by both to rich at a conclusion where arrange marriage and love marriage could merge to give some better taste to the offspring for a wonderful life.

Fixed marriages are better than love marries as elders of the family from both the parties will go into deep to check the compatibility of the families, traditions, good and bad habits if anybody has or any criminal background also. And also, if anything goes wrong with the couple, the elders will interfere and will try to patch-up the matter with meaningful counselings and protect the couple from breaking their future. There will be a strong stampede if a couple marry with their consent and stand in the society with a great pride and respect.

Fixed marriage is widely practised particularly in many Asian countries. Cultural, traditional and religious reasons are the factors for choosing fixed marriage. I do not see anything wrong with it as for centuries and generation-after-generation this practice has been going on. Fixed marriage does not mean forceful marriage, that many people from various parts of the world think that way. Parents and relatives in many countries find a bride or groom for their children and relatives who are to be married off. The bride and groom get to know each other usually before marriage takes place. Therefore, there is a great breadth of opportunity for both man and woman to decide on their own whether to marry or not the chosen to be partner by their parents or guardians.