Why you should never love someone
By slovenc1
@slovenc1 (2089)
Slovenia
August 31, 2012 11:16am CST
Because you can only trust yourself would be one answer. So mylot be I chose you to be the first I share my story with because friends didn't have time yet. I am in relationship with my girlfriend for almost 4 years and apart from occasional fights that I always thought we resolved I didn't see any problems ahead. And out of the blue she tells me yesterday that she cares about me but she doesn't feel the same about me for last few months
She didn't want to tell me but I found out that she liked one of her friends but nothing happened so far. I told her that I always loved her and would do anything for her, begged her to think about what we have and is it worth to throw away relationship just because when you meet someone new he can be more interesting than someone you lived with for a few years. She said she will think about it but she probably won't change her mind. How sad is that after all we did together. Every time I think of something my heart really hurts as if it was on fire inside my chest turning into charcoal. She said I was great boyfriend and she doesn't deserve me and that I can get a better girl but how does that help me? The worst thing is I love her too much so I can't even hate her for laying to me. I tried everything to get her back but probably nothing will change. She went to seaside with her friend including the guy she likes and said she'll think about everything till next wednesday. I don't know how I'll survive that long but I'm afraid worse will come after for months. How can you get in relationship again if someone breaks your heart like that? Can you promise something to someone if you know there's a chance one will break the promise? It would be better to not love because it hurts too much.
She didn't want to tell me but I found out that she liked one of her friends but nothing happened so far. I told her that I always loved her and would do anything for her, begged her to think about what we have and is it worth to throw away relationship just because when you meet someone new he can be more interesting than someone you lived with for a few years. She said she will think about it but she probably won't change her mind. How sad is that after all we did together. Every time I think of something my heart really hurts as if it was on fire inside my chest turning into charcoal. She said I was great boyfriend and she doesn't deserve me and that I can get a better girl but how does that help me? The worst thing is I love her too much so I can't even hate her for laying to me. I tried everything to get her back but probably nothing will change. She went to seaside with her friend including the guy she likes and said she'll think about everything till next wednesday. I don't know how I'll survive that long but I'm afraid worse will come after for months. How can you get in relationship again if someone breaks your heart like that? Can you promise something to someone if you know there's a chance one will break the promise? It would be better to not love because it hurts too much.5 people like this
14 responses
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
31 Aug 12
Your topic breaks my heart too
Many of us go through what you are going though now before we find our other half. Some never find it.
While reading though, I had one thought. As much as it hurts now, let her go. Once something is broken it is never the same, sadly, and no matter how hard you try and how much effort you put into keeping her, you will soon see things differently.
No-one deserves to be ditched but sadly it happens. Move on. Think of the good times with no regrets and wish her luck with her new friend. She will probably come back to you but when that happens, you will be with someone else who has more to offer you than she has 
Many of us go through what you are going though now before we find our other half. Some never find it.
While reading though, I had one thought. As much as it hurts now, let her go. Once something is broken it is never the same, sadly, and no matter how hard you try and how much effort you put into keeping her, you will soon see things differently.
No-one deserves to be ditched but sadly it happens. Move on. Think of the good times with no regrets and wish her luck with her new friend. She will probably come back to you but when that happens, you will be with someone else who has more to offer you than she has 2 people like this
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
31 Aug 12
Yours sounds almost like a fairy tale Hatley! You were lucky!
I will never forget my son on the day that he discovered that his girlfriend of several years had a new friend. It seemed like the end of the world at the time but a few years later he had found and married his other half and they are so happy now. It would not have been the same had he stayed with the first one, I am certain.
We just never know what our destiny holds.
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
31 Aug 12
You say 'both felt' and then you say 'I still do'. She doesn't and that is why it will not work out my friend, though I know that right now you want it to.
Time will help work things out.
@shello (964)
• United Arab Emirates
1 Sep 12
I was saddened upon reading your post. I know that it's heartbreaking but I'm really hoping that you won't let her break your heart the second time around. Upon knowing that she had decided to like someone while she is into your relationship, it is a sign that she's not settled with you after all. I think that it's time to let her go. When something is already broken it is really hard to put it back into pieces.
Now, you can ask yourself this question: Can you still trust her after what had happened? If you do, then follow your heart but if not you can chose to move on and let God fix you and time to heal your wound.
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
2 Sep 12
Hi slovenc: To love you sometimes have to let go. It was her decision. Don't feel sad if you have given everything for this relationship. You may find someone else but for now try to take the good memories and experiences and just don't think about the things that couldn't be with her. It was her choice.
ALVARO
@natliegleb (5175)
• India
31 Aug 12
whatever you are saying is entirely true and it hurts so much.so always be a single and enjoy life to the fullest without any commitments
@cleoselene8 (14)
• Philippines
1 Sep 12
Hi Slovenc1.If I were in your case,I might be sad but not that much because I believe when somebody go,then someone better is coming.Dont tried hard so much, God for sure has something better for you.
@chiyosan (30183)
• Philippines
1 Sep 12
I got really affected with what you have shared with us here in myot. I saw myself in you and how everything was like my situation... Except that we did not live together. I dont really know how hard this was foranyone who was told or anyone who discovered your special someone was cheating or that they loving you less until it happened to me just about a year ago.
I never saw it coming. I never have imagined that i would be in such a situation. The one you love... The one you spent most of your life with... The one whom you have thought the future about.... Has turned his or her back on you justfor someone new who... In their thought can be better... Only for them to find out that they are giving up that 80% of what we or you have... For that new person who can only offer 20%... Life sure is like that. For most of us who is not aware or who is not thining clearly... Because we only want what we think is fun and lets go of something or someone who as been our shield... Our inspiration... something that other person will ever be.
about you having the chance to love again... I think and i knowyou will get over this as many people have in their lives. You will find yourself just laughing at the situation and at yourself. You wil move on. You will evebtually realize how muchmore you are worth than what you give yourself.
It may take time... you only need to deal with it and do not close your heart to the possibility of you being loved again...not now but in the future when you are ready. it is not everyone that hurt you. Not all women and men are the same. We will be loved.
@celticeagle (168256)
• Boise, Idaho
31 Aug 12
Love is a leap of faith. I would think that you would be happier to find out now that she is no longer in love with you than to go on and having children perhaps with her and have lived with her and grown to love her even more and then find this out. I think it took alot of nerve for her to tell you and she has alot of respect for you to have told you like she did. Where it was that you feel she lied to you I don't understand.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
1 Sep 12
I am sorry to know about that. I know how hurt you must be. But I think it is time to let go, at least little by little. There is no use of forcing yourself on her to love you coz she has told you that she doesn't love you the way she used to. Just be happy for her decision and wait for the perfect girl to come. I know that 4 years is not easy to forget but there is no other way but to move on. Don't despair. Just think about this: it is better that you have learned and now and she was honest enough to tell it to you straight that finding all about it from others.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
31 Aug 12
You never broke a promise? Are you sure? Not even the smallest? Most people do break promises every day.
In life we meet many people, we have all kind of relationships, some stay for longer, some will end quickly, just a few will last forever.
By living life we will discover who we are, what we want, what we are willing to do or fight for. Esp. after 4 years it's time to have a closer look at your place in this world. What have you done with your dreams, your goals? As soon as other people are catching your attention this means you need something new. Might be your gf will come back to you (sooner or later) but I think it's time to let go.
Believe it or not, most people in this world experienced a broken heart, many of them even experienced it for more as 6 times and they are still there. Go on with your life, get focused on the future and don't refuse to make contact with other people. Since you will never be able to keep all promises you make either. Nobody can. There is always something in our lives that will make it impossible to do so, sooner or later. The only one you are responsible for is yourself, this also includes your own happiness. You can sit there, feel pity for yourself and blame other people, but it's only you, you can blame if your life ends up in a mess and alone. Since if so this is your own choice.
@halfbloodace (587)
• Philippines
1 Sep 12
Wow... Your story is sad. But i guess it's true what they say that it is better to have loved at all than never. I quite envy you for having a stable relationship for 4 years because i never had a relationship with a girl since i was born. Talk about lonely. But one thing i learned about couples is that they deteriorate over time. Why? Because they know how to get each other, but they do not know how to keep each other.
Let me recommend a good book to you that would turn your dating life 360 degrees. The book is "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" - by John Gray. Many people have witnessed change when they read the book. They relationships have skyrocketed. I recommend it to you.
Don't lose heart my friend. Keeping her would be harder if you don't try to keep her at all. Take care of her, tell her to save her heart for someone that is worth dying for - pertains to you... Ciao!
@purenergy (25)
• Philippines
1 Sep 12
when you focus on the person and love her too much then you tend to push your friends, family, work and all of the other things, aside. when you push those things, which are physical and you have this physical relationship aside, how much more do think more will you be able to shove God away together with all of them?.
focusing on the person too much and loving her too much without focus on God anymore will invite the lies of the devil in your relationship. It will invite worries, possessiveness,insecurity,jealousy and will ultimately make your relationship a hindrance to God. Why? Because you have lost focus to God who is in control to your life, therefore you've lost your trust that he allows to happen in a relationship. The tendency is, you will want to be in control when you put God out of the picture or when you shove him aside. And being control, makes you vulnerable in all things I have mentioned earlier.
@Otanetix (508)
• United States
31 Aug 12
While I think your situation sounds very sad, you need to move on. I know it will not be easy, especially when the relationship lasted for almost 4 years. People are resilient; we can overcome obstacles such as these kinds. However, I am not quite in agreement with your statement about never loving someone because of the pain.
When you enter a relationship, you are taking a chance at heart break; even though I am not saying that you entered the relationship only to get your heart broken, it's an arduous path to find someone you love who also loves you the same way. You will stumble along the way, but once you find your true soul mate, you will be glad you continued on your journey towards finding love. When you go through this journey of finding love, things will not always go the way you wanted. I have known some of my friends who faced multiple rejections and break ups; although they kept bringing it up at times when we would meet, I knew only time would heal his wounds. Everyone heals from wounds of broken relationships at a different pace. While you feel pain now, your pain will eventually subside.
Although we do not enjoy pain, it is a burden we all must bear. You should not give up. You will find the right person if you keep trying. There probably will be more heart breaks along the way. While it's painful to break up with someone, it becomes more painful just to give up on finding love and dwelling on the past. If you do give up on love, you might regret it for the rest of your life; that's why it's important to move on at your own pace.
@inspiringarsalan (29)
• United Arab Emirates
1 Sep 12
i want to tell you my love story .
i love someone and she love me a lot. we falling love from the facebook site . i have no idea that the facebook i used for love some one i was chating to her every day . and we don't expect that we are loving to each other . i asked her to tell me your contact number . then she gave me . i we talking each other at middle of night every day . and i kissing her on my cell phone . she likes to me more and i likes to her more then her . one day we decide to date each other at some place . i gone her institute . i met her she wear a scarf from all over the body is hide on scarf . when i see this i love more to her . and her eyes is green and so attractive .
one day she left :((( because i have break up some other reason , and i tell her i have no idea what i am saying that . i told her i have more girl Friends don't talk to me ever . then she didnt replies . and she contact me another number . that i not save to my cell phone . that i realize what important is cell phone and i 4get her number . i want to talk to her every day but now i have no number to contact her on cell phone . and i go every day her institute but she left institute she is no way . i am so desperate about this how may i called her or meet her . its to hurting for me . she came back when ever we fight but told some thing abuse words what they don't like . i really make a mistake .
don't do this to ur girlfriend plz :)
