Finding the Right Time to Tell your Child He/She was Adopted..
By Jshean20
@Jshean20 (14348)
Canada
September 3, 2012 8:49pm CST
I do often consider the option of adopting a child when I'm ready to have kids, so a few things always cross my mind about it. I know I could love this child the same as I would one that grew in my womb, but I have to wonder when the right time would be to tell them they were adopted. What age approximately would it be appropriate to do so? All opinions are welcome or personal life experiences on this. Thanks.
3 responses
@Jshean20 (14348)
• Canada
4 Sep 12
That would be a huge fear of mine, waiting until they are too old and then losing their trust forever for waiting too long. I suppose it would be a judgement call to make at the point of being in the situation, would have to observe their maturity and hope to make the right decision.
@namiya (1718)
• Philippines
4 Sep 12
Tato is right do it when he is old enough to understand for it will be more difficult for the child to digest if he will learn it from other people. My brother and his wife adopted an abandoned baby but as everybody in the neighborhood know about it the children of his age started teasing him at about age 3 to 4 and once he came home crying because of it. My brother and his wife told him the truth but assured him that it would make no difference and the more they showed how they care for him. The the 3 real children who are all older treated him as their dear youngest brother and the kid now 6 years old is doing fine and though he now know the truth he doesn't mind it.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
4 Sep 12
Hi, Jshean! I think the appropriate age to tell an adopted child about his true identity is when he is old enough to understand. You can start telling him about it around 7 or 8 years old.
@jellsiguenza (147)
• Philippines
4 Sep 12
It depends on the character of the kid. I have a nephew who adopted a baby boy because he was married for almost 10 years but they were not blessed to have a kid of their own. They treated him as their own and so are we. The kid is now 14 years old but he is rebellious. My nephew gave me a visit recently and told me that the kid asked him if he was adopted. my cousin said no because he is afraid that he might become worse than what he is now. But I have also another cousin who adopted a baby girl and she is turning 18 this month. She knew since she was in her elementary year that she was adopted but she accepted that fact and nothing changed. That is why I think it really depends on how the kid will accept the fact. And how the known parents were able to raise their adopted kids.
