what should i do? Break - up or Cool off?

• Philippines

6 Sep 12

thank you so much mam...huhuhuhuhuu huhu im crying.. thanks much

1 person likes this

cleoselene8

@cleoselene8 (14)

• Philippines

6 Sep 12

When woman committed a mistake in a relationship,most man will not forgive.And when a man committed the mistake most woman forgives.

1 person likes this

• Philippines

6 Sep 12

absolutely correct......cleoselene8

1 person likes this

Metatronik

@Metatronik (6199)

• Pasay, Philippines

6 Sep 12

Being on a LDR is always a test of conviction. I think that is also a test if the two of you are for each other. And what the heck to that girl calling him love? Just observe first your situation to your boyfriend then if that could be the same thing I guess you should break up with him.

1 person likes this

Jenny1015

@jenny1015 (13366)

• Philippines

6 Sep 12

I hope you dob't get offended with what I will tell you. But first, let me ask you. How did you meet? How often does he visit you? Do you know any of his friends or family? It is difficult to have a long distance relationship coz eventhough you wabt to give him your full trust in him, thete will be temptations around. I do not want to discourage you, but weigh things over. Isn't it quite unusual that you never fought ovet anything? I am hoping that the girl you saw in facebook is just a fling. what could be worst? Finding out that he is just fond of you and that those 3 years he wasnt erious but just treated you special like a best friend? Or the other girl is the real girlfriend? Either way, it hurts so bad. Maybe you'd try taking some time apart to test his honesty to you. Think it over.

Jenny1015

@jenny1015 (13366)

• Philippines

6 Sep 12

Give some time off. Let him feel how hurt you are from what he has done to you. If you really matter to him, he'll eait for you to forgive him and have that second chance. don't think about it so much. this eould be a perfect test for him.

1 person likes this

boyfriend

lied

• Philippines

6 Sep 12

jen we are lover since i was in college until i had work..until now.. every christmas he was with my family we stay there.. every new year i went to his family too...he brought me to all places where his relatives and friends live just to inform and tell them that "I am his GF" every monthsary we celebrate it, every anniversary we had a small party consist of friends of friends...giving gift and others.. we had no problem a while ago... he was good to me, and im too.....thats why its very hard for me to know that he lied.. i asked him regarding that girl,, and he answered " sorry sorry its my fault i betrayed you, i lied to you.." i tempted " ... for me..disppointed..so disappointed....its hurt much...

1 person likes this

• Philippines

6 Sep 12

huhuhuhuuh im crying huhuhuhu... huhuhuu.. i need to be strong now.....thanks much

1 person likes this

bhabycatch013

@bhabycatch013 (9150)

• Philippines

5 Sep 12

hi del, We always forgive the one we love but there are situation that we should break it even it hurts so much. It's still your decision maybe you can give him another chance even you will be paranoid thinking he might cheating on you again. Or break him even it will hurt you so much hope you will come out with good decisions welcome to mylot

• Philippines

5 Sep 12

yeah its very hard for me.. almost 3 years .. and then you plan already about your marriage, about house, about babies and etc... oh my God its soo hurt...until now i really felt the pain,,sometimes i cant breathe....the parents of my BF called me and then said " Darling pls. dont give up we know our son, pls be strong, its a trials to both of you,, almost all guys did that flirting others..." i really like his mother bhabycatch013 they are with me/supporting me.. when i called them oh my god soo ashamed im crying super cry.... his mama said to me dont worry darling i knew that girl im gonna visit her".... in my mind ..i love my BF so much i wanted him back to me , but what if he doesnt love me anymore? ohhhhhh i cant take that... or maybe its time for me to move on or search again.

@bhabycatch013 (9150)

• Philippines

5 Sep 12

I know how much it hurts my EX cheated on me three times but still I forgive him and give him a chance but I need to save something for myself after the third time I call it quit and I don't have regrets about it by the way its a 7 years relationship

You can move on and you can find someone who deserves you

1 person likes this

• Philippines

5 Sep 12

yeah i will try bhabycatch .. i will try..thanks much.. at least my heartache now was hmmm relief little bit

fatlex06

@fatlex06 (895)

• Philippines

5 Sep 12

Oh. That was really shocking. I feel for you girl. You don't deserve to be cheated. Every girl don't deserve that. But I don't believe in cool offs. If that is the other choice besides break up. But weigh your feelings, if you think you can let go of him that easy then break up but if you think you can trust him again as if nothing happened that stay on the relationship. Weigh your feelings girl. But I'll say, a guy like that doesn't really learned their lesson once they didn't feel the pain that they caused you. I think your bf won't tell you that if you didn't figured it out by yourself. Think of the situation again and again and decide for the betterment of you. You weren't even sure if what's really true right now because of his lie. The pain will remain. So weigh yourself girl. Hope everything will be okay between you and your bf.

mistrust

• Philippines

5 Sep 12

tahnks so much fat.. im trying to movin on now..without him ,,i know its very hard for me super duper.....every morning i mis his Text , his call ...our baby talk saying luv u luv luv v.. and all of that now was GONE GONE GONE .....i know that his mistress GF know that my BF has GF and thats me.. I chatted her last night and you know what that girl chatted at me saying " excuse me ..your bf doesnt love you anymore ,,he loves me more than you,, pls. respect me, i dont care if his parents like you,,all i wnt, all i need is your BF because he love me" she said to me that way ... as in she break my heart totally....i asked myself//why dis happen to me? whats my fault? is there something wrong? i care my BF 100%, i luv my BF 80%, i am responsible GF 200%, i am respectful and honest and hardworking 200%..im sweet 100%... whats my fault?

• Philippines

5 Sep 12

fat thank you so much,,, i really like your message,, thanks..yeah thats true...its like he throw a diamond..

1 person likes this

fatlex06

@fatlex06 (895)

• Philippines

5 Sep 12

Stop blaming yourself girl. It's not even your fault. Your guy has the problem and that's not your problem no more. Tell that girl that she deserves your boyfriend, because they are both arrogant and liar in some way. Don't waste your time girl. Cheer up. Don't you ever go back with your ex anymore if you don't want to be hurt again. Enough is enough. End it. It's not healthy for you. Love yourself first. You need some respect. I stand the flag of girl's federation in your name. Let your bf realize your worth. And let him regret from what he did. Beauty and success are the best revenge. :D

leateagee

@leateagee (3667)

• China

5 Sep 12

Hi delfajumamil, Well girl, you gotta do what will make you happy. If you think giving him another chance is fair, do it. But if you'll ask me, no cool off, it's break up. I wonder how long was the relationship already. I'm also thinking how rich your lover is to afford two girls. Maybe you are not demanding. Maybe you had short comings too that why he was tempted. Try to look at yourself too. Look at reasons why he did it? Are you not enough? I am not judging you. I just related the things I did when I man cheated on me. Well, I'm a kind of person who doesn't give second chanes, so I broke up. If a man really loves me, he won't do these things. Well, guess what so far I am happily married and doing my best so my husband won't be tempted.

At least you are not married yet. that would hurt even more. It will take sometime for you to recover but you will.

cheating

relationship

leateagee

@leateagee (3667)

• China

6 Sep 12

Hi Dell, I like your list of things to help yourself move on. This is a good idea. You have to find ways. Your myLotters friends are here if you need a shoulder to cry on or a friend to listen to you. In God's plan, it is His time. God's timing is always perfect.

• Philippines

6 Sep 12

thanks much leateagee ..such a wonderful message.. inspiring.. thanks.. now im trying to movin on.. to tell you frankly i still love him, i want him back thats my heart saying but in my mind saying 1. Dell let him go 2. Dell hes not desrving 3. Dell u can find much better than him 4. Dell dont be crazy , ders a lots of guy outder. 5. Dell Move -on , its very hard but try try try try later you will know whats the purpose of breakin up. 6. if Gods plan u will be together so be it..if Gods plan u will never never be together thats the purpose why you separated....maybe for me to be safe..

semicolonp

@semicolonp (518)

• Philippines

6 Sep 12

That really is a hard decision to make. Since I don't know your boyfriend, I can't really gauge what kind of person he is but from my experience, people who fell into the cheating temptation is likely to fall into it again, especially with your circumstance, being in a long-distance relationship and all. I don't know if he cheated because you're far away, because you're lonely, or if he fell in love with someone else (since it is possible to love people simultaneously) but I think, for your sake as well, that breaking it off is the better decision. Cooling the relationship off won't really solve much because you're still far away from each other and it won't erase the fact that he cheated and your trust has been broken. Trust is SO hard to get back after all. I do hope that whatever decision you choose, that it'll be the best for you. Good luck and I hope you have a lot of support offline as well!

• Philippines

6 Sep 12

thank you so much semicolonp..such a wonderful message... very nice.. thank you so much.. hope im gonna get well soon, im trying now to movin on

piya84

@piya84 (2580)

• India

5 Sep 12

This guy do not have ability to say loyal to you.He has proven it you already.Leave him.

break up

zhette4220

@zhette4220 (181)

• Philippines

6 Sep 12

Leaving hi is painful but I also agree with you both.I've been in that situation before and it really is mind wracking and heartbreaking. Whats worst is that you never ever expected that he would do that to you considering the fact that he's been a good boyfriend ( I mean, he's showing that he is a good bf). Boys like that need to be dumped so that they may realize how much they lost.

cashhunters

@cashhunters (4)

•

5 Sep 12

I also agree with you.

forgive healthy mistake love hurt trust betray lea

Mylot User

@Sindrum91 (254)

• United States

6 Sep 12

While I do believe it is healthier to forgive. Unfortunately some things to me are just unforgivable. And even if you were better than me in that regard, You will probably never be able to forget something like that. Or at least it will take you a long time to gain his trust back. I wish there was an easy answer for this, but I also believe if he truly loved you, he would not have done what he had done. If you can find it in your heart to truly forgive him. Make sure you know without a doubt that he does indeed love you, and maybe it was a genuine mistake. But again I don't know, If I loved someone I would never betray them like that. It's also lying to yourself in the process. A lot to learn for the young man indeed. I am sorry for your pain and I wish you nothing but the best.

positive future meant to be end of the world hopel

Mylot User

@Sindrum91 (254)

• United States

6 Sep 12

You can do it, and only time will heal your pain. Right now it hurts, and I'm sure it does pretty bad. But just know there are better days ahead. I know from my own experience I have been hurt really bad. And I thought it was the end of the world. I thought I didn't want no one else. And everything was meant to be. But it wasn't and now looking back on it I just laugh. Because I was completely wrong. Only thing you can do now is stay positive and look to the future. It gets better trust me.

• Philippines

6 Sep 12

yeah,, thanks so much sindrum91.. it seems very hard for me to accept, to forget everything but i will try to move on,, eventhough for me as of now its like he killing me softly...sometimes it makes me cry.huhuhuhuu but i think i can do this for my own sake

Raine38

@Raine38 (12391)

• United States

5 Sep 12

I wanna ask have you met him in person? I think even though relationships online starts and really happen, it isn't serious or final unless you two have met in person and have spent some time together. I always tell my friends never to expect too much out of online relationships and not to give their everything unless they're both sure and on the same page as far as the relationship is concerned. But then, it's just me and my own take on LDRs.

laydee

@laydee (12798)

• Philippines

10 Sep 12

It's sad that you're going through that amidst the fact that you're with him almost every month! I couldn't believe he still did that to you. That's really sad there, I feel for you. What has he done to fight for you? Sorry isn't enough, there should be something that is to be done to make peace, don't allow him to just say sorry. He needs to act and prove he's sorry.

• Philippines

5 Sep 12

monthly / regularly he visit me..we always celebrate monthsary and that was his opinion to celebrate.. we had a cake,, sometimes party..go to beach...every christmas he stay in my family,, and every new year i stay in his family... he brought me in all places where his friends/relatives/families etc live just to show them , to inform them that " i am his GF" and also thier reunions im there intrioducing myself as his GF.. thats why i cant forget everything ,, and i cant accept now.

1 person likes this

linnet

@linnet (7)

• China

6 Sep 12

if i were you,i would break up with him immediataly,no more words to say with him.That's totally his faults.He don't respect you for accepting other woman's love.He could already kown that thing can hurt you deeply,but he can't refuse the lure .Until now, I can say he is a immature boy and cann't give you the sincere love.He maybe have the desire to be "the lover of public",who kowns? Certaily,he is a romatic boy and you love him so much ,but you should think for youself if this boy deserve you love,you can encounter other good boy and strat a long and sweety love .I think trust is important in couple love,do you agree?

couple love

• Philippines

6 Sep 12

yes linnet i agree...thanks for your advce.. makes me calm and makes me feel better..thanks much maybe its time to say goodbye

tocquevil

@tocquevil (157)

• China

6 Sep 12

from what you have described above,i;m sure you are a sigle-minded girl and you deeply love you boyfriend and trust him.this is why his betrayal hurt you so deeply.I think first you should make clear what really happen between your boyfriends and that girl then you can take further steps.

boyfriend

• Philippines

6 Sep 12

yeah absolutely right tocquevil i love him so much... even im so tired in my work i always communicate him. i always showed my love and care to him..he also do that to me (vice versa).... thats why very shocking...super...its like he killing me softly...but i need to move on ..to help myself.. accept the reality that hes not mine

tocquevil

@tocquevil (157)

• China

7 Sep 12

It is the best if you can save you love life with you boyfriend.But if you cann't,you should also face the fact bravely.I know it is hard for you because once you love him so deeply,but a man who is unfaithful to you do not deserve your trust and love.In that case,it is your boyfirend who should regret for he lose so good a girl like you.

surajp

@surajp (29)

• Indonesia

6 Sep 12

You can forgive your apouse or your partner for anything. But when it comes to cheatinf on you with another there should be NO compromise. Break up and end it. If he/she can cheat on you once he/she can do it again. My wife and i are very clear with each other on these matters, if any of us cheats then thats it, game over. There should some lines drawn that should never be crossed when you are in a serious long term relationship and this is DEFINITELY one of them.

• Philippines

6 Sep 12

yes surajp i can forgive but i can't forget what he did.. u know what its very shocking as in duper..... it feels me like paranoid sometimes.. but i need to accept eveyrything just to protect my heart, myself....i really think that our relationship was perfect because he was very kind, caring, lovable, sweet, gentleman, but sad to say he lied to me. for 2 years and half i dont even felt the way i feel today.

Patsie Hatley

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

7 Sep 12

hi delfajumamil I think your boyfriend is cheating on you playing aro und and he tosses love you around like balloons and it does not sound really sincere to me. i would tell him you need some time to decide what to do and that you trusted him and he betrayed that trust with another girl,.yes indeed he is a bad guy but I for one do not believe a word of it, I would cool things until yo u can figure what you want to do ,If it were me I would break up with him and find a man who does not play games and run around with tw o or three wome at the same time, ]

silverfox09

@silverfox09 (4708)

• United States

6 Sep 12

I am sorry to hear that its so sad . I dont think I would be able to trust him again , at least not fully . Do what you feel is best for you not because he is begging .

narnia007

@narnia007 (1050)

• India

5 Sep 12

Hey.Just talk to your boy friend and be clear about what he thinks of you and how he feels for you.Since he is in a distant relationship,there may be chance that he will go deeper into that person who is near him.If he agrees to leave her completely and you know for sure that he does loves you completely and ready to do anything for you,go on with him.Otherwise don't go on with the doubt and end up hurting yourself more.Think twice before taking any decision.

• Philippines

6 Sep 12

other people, some of my friends, relatives told me.. its a trials to both you..at least now you know who he is....its up to you if you forgive him or not... but in my side.. frankly until now im shocked . im paranoid because i thought everything seems to be okay but im wrong... im responsible one, im honest, im educated person... but really dunno why he lied to me.. maybe because of LDR he tempted to had a girl because im far.. maybe he tempted because u know a body needs.... and i cant imagine, theyre doing sweetness while im working hard and waiting him. sooo disappointed narnia007

prashu

@prashu228 (37524)

• India

5 Sep 12

thats so sad, what do you think that matters a lot, are you ready to forgive him , and continue the relationship , are yo sure that he he will not do the mistake again in his life? is he serious about you ? if not then you should move on dear...