My head is so messed up and I don't know what to do!
By TheScupp
@TheScupp (102)
Finland
September 12, 2012 10:06am CST
(16 years old boy from Finland)
I think I start explaining all from beginning...
So, I have been living in student residence for two weeks now and I'm studying in vocational school. After primary school this felt almost like a dream because there was no more reading and hard exams!
(Unlike in many other countries here in Finland we can go to high school or vocational school. In vocational school we study for certain profession and we don't study so much academic subjects. Please don't perceive this like we are lower class or something like that.)
Okay, let's continue...
In school, days were nice and I learned new useful things basically everyday. I felt pretty good about me and my life then. I got many new friends in school but I couldn't really meet them after school because none of them were living in residence. After school I went to my residence and usually went on computer. I also exercised everyday to keep good health.
Every weekend I get back home and be with my family and friends. This weekend we went to my cousins weddings. There was long drive there (about 400km) and we drove it with a car. Ride was fun because I saw many new places and there was nice weather too. After church ceremonies we went to some kind of country house to "party". I had the best time in years with my cousins and I was really happy then.
Later there was band that played some music and couple danced first. After that anyone could dance. One girl came and asked me to dance then. I am kinda shy so it was pretty exiting situation for me. Anyway, we danced only one dance because then my mother said that we need to go home. It was late already. Well then we started driving back to home and I still was on good mood. It was about 03:00 Am when we arrived home. I went immediately sleeping.
Here starts the "interesting" part...
Next morning when I woke up I felt awful! I felt somehow really depressed. I first thought it was because I was still tired and earlier day was so special. Anyway, after morning that depressing feeling was still on me. I felt badly depressed rest of the day. I couldn't actually do anything because of it and I felt also tired.
In evening I needed to go back to student residence. I didn't really had time to do anything there that night so I just slept there.
Next morning when I woke up I still felt pretty depressed and I didn't want to go to school. When I went to school after few hours I felt pretty much like normally. I had after all a nice day and I didn't felt depressed anymore. After school I went back to my residence like usually but after a hour I started feeling depressed again! I had no idea why but I was really depressed. I didn't want to play on computer or do anything else. All I did was that I tried to find out what's wrong with me!
Next day was pretty much the same. In school I had fun but when I came back to residence I felt depressed. This time it wasn't so strong but I felt it well. This has continued now three days and I don't know what to do.
I guess here's enough information about my situation for now. I would really like to know what could this be and why am I depressed in residence after school. Also why did this happened right after those weddings?
1 person likes this
6 responses
@islandrose (686)
• Philippines
12 Sep 12
Hello Scupp! I believed that when your good mood, happiness w/ family members, eagerness to dance w/ the girl were hanged, your memory kept the unfinished experiences and turned it to a vacuum feeling. In addition, you were tired and had not slept well, these can affect emotion, that's why, when you're alone in your student residence, you strongly missed those happiness and become lonely. You must counter such feeling by exposing yourself to a joyful activity, so that you can forget the vacuum feeling. If such vacuum feeling will continue, it will become depression and dangerous to the heart. Just enjoy!
@TheScupp (102)
• Finland
12 Sep 12
That's amazing! That is really professional and helpful response. I strongly believe that this is exactly what is going on. I kinda guessed that it's something like this but I couldn't understand it completely. This helped me to understand my situation but you can't believe how much it also helped me to get over this. Thank you so much. :)
@allyoftherain (7208)
• United States
12 Sep 12
It sounds more like it could be a case of chronic fatigue or like the person above said, loneliness. Depression is a very serious mental illness, not really just a low feeling. My guess is that the weddings might have tired you out, which led to chronic fatigue and when you're tired physically then it has an impact on your mood. It's only my guess though. I'm more certain that the reason you tend to get depressed when you're at the residence after school is because you're by yourself and you might not have anything engaging to do, which also has a negative impact on your mood.
If that's the case, I advise you eat good healthy food, exercise, and get plenty of sleep to help with the fatigue, and keep busy and socialize to ward off boredom and loneliness. I know it can be difficult to make friends when you're shy (I have social anxiety personally. 
)... but being with people and having fun is one of the most important things we can do to improve our mental health. If there aren't any activities clubs to join nearby, start asking acquaintances and friends to meet up and hang out, watch movies, play games, etc, so maybe you could get a sort of club started. 
If that doesn't help, and your mood continues to worsen, you find yourself less interested in people or things that used to make you happy, then you might be passing out of the reach of pick-me-ups to a low mood and into the realm of a depression that needs medical intervention. If you see that happening, seek help!
)... but being with people and having fun is one of the most important things we can do to improve our mental health. If there aren't any activities clubs to join nearby, start asking acquaintances and friends to meet up and hang out, watch movies, play games, etc, so maybe you could get a sort of club started.
If that doesn't help, and your mood continues to worsen, you find yourself less interested in people or things that used to make you happy, then you might be passing out of the reach of pick-me-ups to a low mood and into the realm of a depression that needs medical intervention. If you see that happening, seek help!
@TheScupp (102)
• Finland
12 Sep 12
Well I agree with that it isn't probably real depression but I guess it's just common to say that is depressed if is sad here in Finland. Still I don't think it's chronic fatigue either. As I said before it's really weird that it happened right after those cousin's weddings. I guess it made me felt somehow that my life sucks or something like that. That cousin who got married is actually my biggest role model. He has always had so much success in his life and I'm always following his path on some things. But I'm pretty sure that this "depression" isn't going to be worse. At least it's going to better now.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
13 Sep 12
you are homesick. most young people are unless they know someone where they go away to school. sorry to tell you this but if all your discussions are going to be this long to read, i may not come to them a lot. you should try a blog. 
you would do well with making money for stories. i know you are supposed to write more then a few lines here but if they are this long i sometimes just pass them. hugs, bon
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
Hi there! I think that you are just missing the fun that you had when you went to the party last weekend. Are you thinking of the girl you danced with? maybe you want to know her better?
@nidakhan001 (305)
•
12 Sep 12
hey scupp,
i read the entire situation you wrote, I feel like its not what you call depression, its lonliness and not having anything exciting, see when you get along on the girl on dance floor you feel happy, I think you need to make new friends, get along with them you will feel better.
@TheScupp (102)
• Finland
12 Sep 12
I know that I need to make new friends here in residence also but do you have any suggestion about that how should I do that? There's not really any activities here where I could meet people and most of the people are inside all the time like me. I don't mean that I'm lazy but it's also hard because I'm a bit shy too.
Interesting thing here is that why I feel depressed or lonely now. Why it all started after those weddings? :(
@ofzhernandez (278)
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
I think you are onto that girl. Did you ask any information about her? maybe her cell number or phone number? Do you know where she lives in? Is she too far away from you? Why not try to ask her to your parents or your cousin, maybe they know her. I think that night is too short for you both to know more about each other. Try knowing her better maybe it can help you.
