Do you believe that it's natural for a man to date more than 1 woman at a time?

I agree with you on the first part, but I must disagree with you on the second. I definitely agree that people should automatically assume that the other person is dating other people, because dating (or "courting" as Owl put it) is a natural part of the selection process, and having multiple "selections" to choose from is not a bad thing. I do think that people automatically jump into the "exclusive mode" way too soon, especially when there has not been a conversation about it, and I think that is where a lot of relationships run into problems, because they have unrealistic expectations. I have to disagree about it being natural to do it after agreeing to exclusivity, though. A person does not have to agree to exclusivity, so once they do agree, then I think it would be natural and realistic to expect them to hold true to their word regardless of whether or not they are married. Then again, it does seem to happen a lot, so perhaps lying is more natural than being honest and cheating is more natural than monogamy.

I think the word in question here is **natural**, and imo there is nothing unnatural when a man decides that he no longer wants to be with the woman that he is supposed to be being exclusive with. Now, does it make him a rat for backing out of a commitment that he made to a woman? In my opinion, yes, it does. Backing out of a commitment is full-on rat behavior, if you ask me. However, is it unnatural for him to go and date and be with another woman?? No, I don't think it is unnatural, that is to say, to go against nature, unless that other woman happens to be a female horse, or a female kangaroo, or some Jerry Springer talk-show stuff like that, then yeah, THAT would be unnatural. But there is nothing unnatural about a human man breaking a commitment with a human woman, no matter how long he has been with her, in order to be with another human woman that he now deems more compatible for him. It may be wrong, it may be a bitter pill for the dejected woman to swallow, but there is nothing unnatural about that man choosing another woman. I don't think lying is more natural than being honest, I just think that a lot of people find lying easier to do than being honest in certain situations. People lie to avoid hassles. Unethical, yes, but is lying understandable?? Of course it is, because we all have lied at one time or another, and more than likely the reason we did it was to avoid the hassle of being in trouble. There are of course cases of people who lie all the time, for seemingly no reason...well, because they are psychopaths, but we're not talking about them right now. As far a monogamy is concerned, some people just are not cut out for it. One has to be honest with him or herself before they commit. Just because one says that they will forsake all others and only be with this one person does not mean that they are actually going to do it. One has to know themselves. TV shows like "The Bachelor," and a whole slew of other shows with the same type of premise, let us know that there are many people out there that are okay with the whole "one man amongst 10 women" thing...the man dating all the women pretty much simultaneously, and at the end of the show, the man picks his winner. The fact that these types of TV shows have been playing on American TV for years show that people identify with, understand, and obviously accept this type of behavior. The Bachelor, seasons 1 thru, what season is that show in now? Season ten or something like that?...then there is "The Bachelorette", one woman, a whole slew of guys. Obviously, just from being on a show like this, people let us know over and over again that they are open to being less than "monogamous". Bottom line, there are many people out there that can relate to the whole non-exclusivity thing, even if they claim they want to be exclusive. I mean, exclusivity sounds good in theory, but when people try to put it into practice...well, that's when the problems seem to begin, for many.

I like your response. I think that in today's day and age, people ought to automatically assume (of course they don't) that unless stated otherwise, a person that they are dating is going to date someone else. I think these days, the minute a person starts dating someone, they jump right into, "He and I are exclusive" mode, when nothing could be further from the truth. Of course if both parties have agreed to exclusivity, like you said, then perhaps we could call it cheating...but I still think that it is natural...it may not be right, but it is natural, imo.

Where on earth did I get the idea that the Bible says that a man can have several women? You have got to be kidding me with that question. Have you ever read the Bible, or just skimmed through? The heads of the 12 tribes were themselves born from more than just one woman. Come on. My question in this discussion is, is it natural for a man to date more than one woman (especially during the selection process, implying that someone is to be selected)? Nowhere in this discussion did I once mention anything about men collecting women, or women being home breakers. If people are just dating, no home should even be set up yet.

No my friend, I did not misunderstand what you said in your paragraph one, I read every word, but perhaps you misunderstood what I said. The reason why I asked have you ever read the Bible was that if one studies the Bible they know that God was not against multiple wives. Yes, it is written that a man shall leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife and the two shall become one flesh, that is telling us what a marriage is and how it is done, however, God does not punish man in the Bible for having more than one wife (unless that wife was a 'stranger'). It was an acceptable practice. In the Bible, God always punished man for things He did not like. A man was allowed to have more than one wife throughout the entire Bible. God did not just "go along with this." Just like in the early Biblical days it was acceptable and even LAW for God's children to marry family only, ie brothers and sister, cousins, to keep the bloodline pure for the Christ-child to come. "Polygamy" is a word that is never even mentioned in the Bible, polygamy is a word that man made up. Just like the word rapture, and the apple that was eaten in the book of Genesis, when in actuality the word apple is not in Genesis at all, and goodness knows the word rapture isn't. If one reads through the Bible, one knows that a man being as one flesh with more than one woman was accepted, however nowhere in the Word does it talk about a woman having more than one husband. But you and I can agree to disagree. Anybody who talks about a woman being a "homemaker at heart" is cool with me (of course there are women who would skin-you-alive at that comment because they would truly rather eat rocks than tend to a home, however, I am not one of those women).

You did not read my answer properly. The quote I gave was for one man, one woman, on flesh. The original pattern for marriage given by God. I agreed that polygamy was in the Bible, read what I said again, and that is how people chose to live. I think you missed the whole point of my para 1.

Not normal, natural

Uh-oh...well, you and I disagree on several things. A) I think that the women in the Bible were treated with respect. B) I think that if a person is in a casual relationship, they both have the right to see other people. C) I don't think that Bible days will ever be over...stick around my friend As far as the commandment not to "commit adultery", one would have to translate the word 'adultery' back into the Hebrew and Greek to know what that word means. It is not what our English modern word 'adultery' means. I'm glad that you found your soul mate. Soul mates are a hard thing to find, so you are fortunate.

Yes, I agree with you, for some people it would be very awkward for a girl to be dating more than one guy, but hey, it happens. Sometimes the girl is unsure of which guy she really likes, so sometimes she feels dating a few at a time can give her a better assessment of which guy she likes the best. Of course it is always good to let each guy know ahead of time that she plans to date more than just one, and give the guy the option to say whether he is ok with it or whether he would rather just "sit the whole thing out" so-to-speak.

True

In that case the girl is just choosing which one is the best.

Hmmm...perhaps

You don't understand what I'm saying? All I asked was do you think it is natural for a man to be able to date more than one woman at a time. In my opinion it is natural that a man be with more than one woman prior to marriage.

Well, if we are to believe what the Bible says, God Himself does not have a problem with it, so I think that makes it both natural and relevant

Yes, I totally agree with you. If a man is not committed/married, then I think that he should be able to date more than one woman without anyone giving him any grief over it. A lot of people these days believe that once a man starts even casually dating someone that he is bound to her and should not date anyone else. I don't agree with that.

Hello my friend. My take on the situation is that if a man is trying to choose between women, trying to see which woman he likes better, then I think that it is natural for a man to go about selecting one special woman by dating around and making sure which one he likes best. In today's society, a man is made to feel guilty for dating more than one woman, and I don't think that is right. A lot of men are satisfied with just one woman, but sometimes a man does not get to really know different women before committing to just one.

@Fulltank... Surely you jest. You have "quoted" many Bible scriptures thereby insinuating that you have more than a passing knowledge of the Word and yet you ask me where I get the idea that it is okay for a man to have more than one woman??smh

Rubbing of pain on rust, what doesthat mean?? Yes, I agree with you, such nature is contrary to our culture, but I think that people should really do a lot of dating around before they actually seriously commit to someone. Commitment is a serious thing, and a lot of people rush into it, only to find themselves "cheating" later on.

I think that people should date around prior to getting married so that they can be as sure as they can be that they have selected the right one. I think in today's society, as soon as a man or a woman go out on even a casual date a couple of times, then people expect them to be exclusive, or the woman expects than from the man or vice-versa. I don't think it should be called cheating if you don't tell someone that you are dating someone else, I think it should be called "dishonesty." If people were more honest about wanting to date more than just one person then things would go a lot smoother.

The books and chapters that I got this idea from are the same books and chapters that you say you have read...where men have many wives, that is where I got the idea. I personally don't think that it is unnatural for a man to have more than one woman even after he has "committed" to someone, I think it is socially unacceptable these days, but certainly not unnatural.

Hmmm, so I guess what you are saying is that you don't agree with the whole "more than one woman to one man" thing?