How to let go of love without hurting?

It is only possible to remain friends with an ex if you stop loving them but still like them. It helps if you were friends before being lovers and you have to be able to let go your feelings. I know people who remain on friendly terms with their ex but not close friends. They are on speaking terms but both have moved on with new relationships. They only reason they still talk is their children. There is no way to let go of love without being caused pain. If you do not feel pain then you were not in love but if you truly love them then you should be able to let them go if they do not love you. There is a saying, if you love them let them go, if they love you they will come back. It is true. The important thing to remember about letting go is that it hurts more to be in a one way relationship than it hurts to let go. I know. I tried staying in a relationship once because I believed I was in love, but all I had was the pain and emptiness of giving love and getting nothing back but friendship. It hurt when he moved on but letting go was the best thing I ever did. Had I not then I would never have moved on and found a 2 way loving relationship. Every relationship we have shapes us, every experience is a learning experience. Pain is tough but it is only through such experiences that we can grow. You get over the pain and you learn from it. In time you might know what it is that you want in a partner and when you find that you may find the right one for you.

I dont think its possible to let go of love without hurting . Its hard to part with someone we love and we can erase the memories . Its more healthy to cry than try to hold it in , with each passing days we will feel better and stronger . What doesn't kill us make us stronger and our past is just as important as our future . I dont know of anyone who get separated and stay good friends , if their is even such case it will not be right away it will take time to be friends and only friends after a long relationship .

This is when it's necessary for the breaker (or breakee ... I'm not judging ) to realize that no one ever loves anyone but themselves. Oh! I know it feels like you're loving someone else. But you're actually loving 'what you can do well for them' and (at least a little bit) 'the appreciation they show you for whatever you do well.' Then it's not that hard to realize that--though you did get slightly 'addicted' to them & -their ways--they aren't so-far different that you can't find someone else to fill your needs.

I am trying to do the same thing and I cannot seem to find the answer. I am feeling a bit down today as this relationship is causing me a lot of pain and loneliness. It is very difficult for a woman to let go when it comes to love. Staying good friends from my point of view is going to cause emotional problems. Better if I could go away for a while and get used to the idea of not having that person in my life. :)

When my ex and I went our separate ways it was hard. We knew that we still cared about each other but there was a lot of friction and strain on us from not being together a lot due to his job. For a while I tried to keep it friendly but a lot of the time we ended up being friends with benefits for a while. Now we just don't talk so much because we do live on different sides of the city and rarely cross paths. I don't think he hates me and I don't hate him. I know that if I did need him for help he would help me out and that is the one good thing about how we ended things, I was honest. I mean it can sometimes depend on the person that you are with by how the break up occurs. If you cheated on them and they find out and that is why you break up, there is bound to be bad blood. If you cheated and they find out after the break up there is bound to be bad blood there too. Then there are some people that just get upset over a break up because it seems like there is no reason for the break up but they can eventually get over it. It may also depend on the relationship that you have as a couple or the relationship you had before you were a couple if you can be friends after he break up.

hmm.. break ups. almost all the time, they hurt. unless the other person no longer cares about the other or there were no real feelings involved. i guess communicating openly before actually breaking up can save the relationship or make the breakup less painful because all issues were addressed before breaking up... i know some people who are still good friends afterwards and their success was possible because they were open-minded and they communicated about their reasons...

It seems that letting go of love and hurting oiver love are inseperable bonds that are hard to break. Letting go od love is a loss that our hearts ccan sometimes have a difficult time in accepting. Hurting is a way of healing over tht loss so they seem to go hand in hand.,

i broke up with a guy before and he is my good friend^^ actually i think we can stay friends with our exes if our relation was always respectful. and ended because of distance or because a reason that didnt mean we were mean to each other. sure its hard to be friends with your ex if he has a new lover. he doesnt have so im friends with him but if he had maybe it would be hard. because sooner or later he would tell me things they did together. so to stay friends with your ex the best is that feelings for him are gone. that way you can have a friendship with him without ending up hurt^^

that is quite impossible as it hurts to a great extent and it cant be avoided at any cost for sure

Well based on my experience i admit that i really hurt my first boyfriend so much and i am not proud of it, it took to many years before he got recovered from our break up. But God has a plan for us after many years we have met again and asked for his forgiveness because i am young and stupid during that time. I am glad he forgiven me and now were both happily married. Although we do not see each other anymore but the most important thing was were okay and no more hurt feeling towards to each other.

It is very common to feel that after breaking up with someone it so very hard for us to accepts the reality that person is no longer in our life.We can not avoid to hate them but in a year or two or more it would be easy already for us to accept what had happened.Time heals and pure acceptance and forgiveness are really the keys to a broken heart.

Well,there was sadness and depression because break up happened due to intervention of elders. Yet, we are good friends and no hard feelings. It is a sad feeling when you can't spend your lives together after falling in love.

If two people love each other very much and would be depressed if the other person is hurt, then they don't have to separate, no? If that cannot be avoided, then letting go of love without hurting means you don't really love that person.

try to be patient ..

Hi bembzee, It's very easy to advise someone who has just broken up with his/her partner to just forget it and continue with his or her life. Easier said than done. If you're the aggrieved party it's always so painful to let go and move on. However I guess with proper counselling and with time the feelings will gradually go away. Then it's time to move on and embark on another relationship but this time hopefully a little wiser. Have a good day.

I don't think that any break up would be possible without getting hurt. I mean, you used to love each other and then you broke up. Will you still be happy? Won't you get hurt? Even if you understand the reason of your partner for giving up on you, still you will feel pain.

Hi, In my case, I don't easily hurt after a breakup. Why after many attempts at trying to make it up, to no avail and talking things over in a rational manner, there shall be less misunderstanding on both parties, having gone separate ways with valid and reasonable options at hand. If the breakup comes after a war, then just pick up the pieces of what remained and continue to move on, someone is still waiting down the road to patch things up.

you can only let go of love without hurting when both of you has already fallen out of love. but if one of you does not feel the same, then hurting is really inevitable. as for me, relationships that were not really sincere are those that i keep friends with.

It's unavoidable in a short sense. You'll get hurt one way or the other. This I've noticed: If a person loved someone so much, the one who got dumped hurts the most after the breakup. If not, it's the dumper who hurts the most. If someone said that the breakup is a "mutual decision" between both parties, they're lying. There's no "mutual decision" in breaking up. Being good friends with someone you used to have intimate relationship with is a different story. Some people say that staying friends with someone you loved after a breakup is a big no-no. If you two stayed friends after the breakup, then you two respect one another's decision to accept that you are just better off as friends. I don't know anyone personally that stayed friends after they broke up.

It is very hard to stay good friends when you shared a special bond and then had to separate for different views and ideas.