Broken Birthday

Hi sjvenden Reading this post, I am confused right now and almost out of words. Wait. I am confused because I dont know which emotion to take my side with - the sad one or the happy one! I find happiness here - as in today's so materialistic world, it always is difficult to find a person as you who has loved and loves her hubby so much. This I think should be the start point for you And then, when you still love him so deeply, I am sure you would realize that he has never left you, maybe in person and physicality but I would say that he still lives with you... in your love, in your thoughts and in the family. Use this as a blessing and also a weapon to fight the sad times that you might find when you are all alone. I know the pain will almost never heal but then, life does move on and you have to ensure that it does as your kids are in need of their mom. They already have lost a loving dad and if the mom would keep busy with his thoughts, the kids would be more in pain as it might be a double loss. I am not sure how to make the birthday great but have a few suggestions - why not cook everything which he loved to have, and also take the kids to some place where the entire family was together. I admit, it might have a sad effect but then, I am sure you would find happiness in doing the things that remind you of the great good times you and family spend together. And somewhere, you would also gain strength.

I guess I can relate this very sad feeling somehow. I lost my first boyfriend after 4 years of being together. All the festive occasions which came after were very sad for me because he was no longer there to share it with us. Maybe you could try being surrounded with your closest friends and relatives? I found that being around people helped lessen the sadness and just being there talking to them about things can help ease the pain. I can only imagine the loss the boys feel for their father and hope that as they grow up, the pain would lessen and that they would remember all the good things and th love their father had. He will always be watching over you and will forever be in your hearts. I wish you all the best in life and I'll be happy to talk to you should you ever need someone from myLot to talk to. *hugs*

Honestly I broke my self on reading your post. At the same time, I knew well you don’t wish to get the sympathy but wish to get words of comfort. It is really hard to gather courage but you have to do it for your boys. I think you can invite your close friends/relatives to make a group prayer for him. The interactions with friends/relatives will make you relax and the boys too.

SJ I still pray for you and your boys and family. Hope your doing well. God Bless! Sandy

First of all I am so sorry to hear of this loss you have had. I would celebrate his life. Light a candle in his honor. Remember the wonderful times you must of had. Honor him and how you felt for him and what you had. Don't be sad, be happy that you had this time with him.

I'm sorry for your loss sjvenden27 but don't worry if you have a strong faith that he is in good hands right now ( I know he is ), you'll surely get over the pain. I know how it feels. In the other world where he is now, all he wants is you and the rest of the family will go on and stay happy. Try to focus on your kids now because they are the only ones you have left. Continue treasuring every moment with them. Ask God's guidance. When you miss him and you feel you are alone, turn to God and He will give you strength. God bless sjvenden27..

7 October was his birthday? If so, that's mine too. I'm so sorry about your grief; no matter what anyone says, it seems to me, the pain will still be there, for after all, it's his birthday. But as you say, he'd not want it that way. Perhaps you and your boys can get together and remember all the things about him that made him so special to you all. Good luck; and again, I'm so sorry you are so sad this time of year.

Sorry about this my dear I know this won't be easy for you and your kids, but like what you wrote- you know he is in a better place now. Maybe, try to wear a smile and blow the candle for him, and tell your little kids that their dad is happy up there.

I feel sorry about your boy,but pls just be positive,your boy do not willing to see you in this way,right? So no matter for your boy or for you,just be positive.

Six months is too early for you to expect yourself to make it without crying and grieving. It is a natural response and it is better that your boys see you cry than think that you do not miss their father as much as they do. You will gradually feel stronger, and more positive, but be kind to yourself meantime and think of your grieving as a positive thing. It must be a hard day for you but it will pass and tomorrow will not be quite as difficult. My sympathies, my best wishes and my admiration.

It's hard to suggest especially that I havent experienced anything like that and I can't even imagine how would I'll be if I'm in your shoe. Maybe it would be an inspiration that if God let your man to look at you now on his birthday, he wouldnt want to see his loved ones crying. Then what does he wants to see so if he wents up again in heaven, he'll remember something beautiful.