In love but not wanting a relationship
By samson1
@samson1 (738)
Jamaica
October 16, 2012 1:11pm CST
I had lunch with a female friend of mine recently, and while eating, I noticed that she was in a daze. I interrupted her 'blank stare' and asked her what is happening. She said she is in love.
"Wow, That's great news," I retorted.
After recalling that she had a few challenges with love prior to now, I asked her how does she you know that she is in love. She explained that whenever she sees him, or hears his voice, she gets 'butterflies in her stomach', and she feels 'on top of the world' when they are together. Then she told me that despite her feelings, she in scared to tell her 'beau' that she wants to be in a relationship with him now. In fact, she said she wanted this relationship with him for sometime now, but she does not know if she wants to be in a relationship with him.
Really, how do you know? I asked.
Then she got up and left without answering me. Her actions caused me to wonder, and hence my question. Mylotters, Say you think (feel) and know that you love the other person, and you feel so good about it. Why would you love this person, yet you would not want to be in a relationship with him/her?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@soulsearcher109 (44)
• Philippines
9 Nov 12
i also in the same situation for 4 year...i do love someone so much to the extend that i am close my heart for other possible feelings...i am so dedicated to him and talk to him almost everyday through email, and we had few vacation together i told him i do inlove with him, yet i am afraid to be in relationship with him as i feel that i am not the woman he want in this life...he also said that he inlove with me but we cannot be in relationship...coz he do respect me too much and afraid to hurt me...isnt it crazy? we inlove with each other yet we dont want to get into relationship...
@samson1 (738)
• Jamaica
9 Nov 12
Hmm, thanks for sharing your experience with me. On reflection, I wonder.., instead of being in love, could'nt both of you be very infatuated with each other? In addition, I think that both of you have an insatiable lust for each other, which is powerful enough for both of you to enjoy; without the commitment that an intimate relationship dictates?
Soulsearcher109, I do not think that you're having a crazy 'love affair', but things do happen between humans that sometimes cannot be adequately explained. Anyway, enjoy it, ok?
@emerillus (467)
• Philippines
20 Oct 12
Hi samson1!
You have mentioned that she's had a few challenges with love before, maybe she doesn't want to encounter those problems again. I think over time, the love she feels in her heart will burst out until she can't handle it anymore because she will not be satisfied unless her love is reciprocated. If she can handle the situation well without getting into a relationship, then good for her. I think she's just afraid for the meantime.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
16 Oct 12
I want to have a wild guess- if your friend love him but she doesn't want to be in a relationship with that guy- does it means, the guy is married or maybe in a relationship.
Maybe your friend love that guy but she is willing to give up her feelings because she doesn't want to become a relationship wrecker -or home wrecker.
Just my opinion, if that is the case- I admire your friend.
@rog0322 (2829)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
17 Oct 12
hi,
Conflicts inside that always happen when it comes to feelings. Oftentimes the heart goes against the dictates of the mind thus the empty and dazed look. Just understand what your friend is gong through, help her make up her mind in case she opens up and may you shall be able to reach a rational and fruitful decision with her.
@samson1 (738)
• Jamaica
19 Oct 12
Hello Rog0322, how are you? I think you are correct in stating that often, the heart goes against the dictates of the mind.
I promise I shall be patient with her. Hopefully, if she chooses to 'open up' to me, I shall do my best to advise her, so that in the end, she may use the information forwarded/discussed to reach a rational and fruitful decision.
Best wishes
@toxic_lifestyle (1213)
• Philippines
16 Oct 12
Well may be she's still confused on her feelings for that person so that she still doesn't want to be in a relationship for now... :)
