First insult from my boss

Thank you. It is hard to return the previous relationship we had before after the incident as I am now uncomfortable talking to him. Would you believe that I have to think many times before going to his desk and ask him to sign some documents? It is like looking for the courage to do something that is difficult for you. I hope this feeling will pass soon.

Thanks belinda, I am fine now. Just trying to get over what has happened. He actually talked to me last Friday but I am not as friendly as before. I just answer what he asks. Some people don't really realized that they have already hurted other people.

Good to hear you are okay now and you already talked with each other. Better stay casual so he knows he has done you harm. Hate those kind of bosses.

If I were you do not have to return anything in his favor,because he is a person who do not know how thoughtful you were as one of his employees.He did not realized that someone like you could be trusted more than he thinks was a bad thing to return someone else things to the rightful owner.I think that he thinks you just did that for other reasons,that is why he told you use your head.If I was the one who was told at it,I could elaborate my reasons why I return it to him,and just knowing it was his car keys.No matter he was my boss,I will really tell him that I did it for his sake alone,and not doing it for my own reason because I know he needs it very badly.

Thank you berting. I hope that it was really the case but it is not. I would definitely know if he was trying to commend me for doing something good yesterday but he is not. I didn't hear him say thank you at least. He insulted me for having to return his keys. It is like we should be glad that at last, I am using my brain. Was it like I was in coma for the last four months or what for him to say that? I was so upset by his words.

What other reasons could I have for returning his keys? It feels so sad that you do something good for others and they will think that you have other motives for doing so. I know that he's been having a hard time lately but I don't really care much. I hope he realized by now that he indeed lose one ally.

We've been working for 4 months already. My previous was the same so I was thankful when they sent us a new boss. I didn't expect that he would be the same. I wanted to think that he was just tired or something. I felt that I really lost my brain that moment. I was in shocked to hear those words. I hope this won't happen again as with my experience, when they started treating you that way, they will be like that forever. I will take into considerations what you have said. I hope our HR department can do something about it as I always think that they don't have a voice as well. Thank you so much for your response.

Yes, I'll take your advice. This is the first time he has insulted me so like you said, I'll just let it pass. I hope I won't be needing to ask for our HR's help in the future. Hope this won't happen again. Thanks again.

Since it's the first time (am I right?) you could let it pass by just this moment. Then have a feel if there's more that could happen anytime soon then go straight to your human resource department. It is their job to take issues like this because it deals with resource and issues. Don't let people look down on you, you have to know your rights and fight for it.

Yes, you do have a point. I see some people who treat their friends that way. But honestly, I have never heard such harsh words as that from my friends. I hope I can be comfortable with that kind of treatment in the future so I can take them as a just a mere joke.

In my country, when a boss says something like that, it's because he feels that if he gave you the thanks you deserved, everyone would think he was being sarcastic. So he says something ridiculously denigrating instead, so denigrating no one could possibly take it seriously ... unless they'd been so much more downtrodden than he could imagine ...

Thanks aejey, I am taking into consideration that he was maybe tired because he has just arrived from a 2 day trip. But his choice of words were not really nice. He could have said other things, I might understand. I felt so stupid that time and it really put me down.

Yes, I am trying to just think that he has said that because he was so tired and pressured with work. We actually had the chance to talk this past few days and so far, he hasn't done or said something that would offend or hurt me. But of course, I always have this feeling that I should be watchful and careful because I don't know what else he is capable of telling me. We're discussing about something this afternoon and realized that I was talking too much. I was giving my opinions about this sample programme for our incoming event, when I suddenly stopped talking. I don't know but I just remember about this saying - less talk, less mistake. I thought that if I would just keep my mouth shut, he won't have anything to say against me. So I just concluded what I was saying and leave his table. I don't know if this is some kind of a phobia because of what happened. I hope not.

I agree with you. It is really a wrong choice of words. He did not even think before saying it. If it is me who received those, I will really feel hurt and insulted also. But to make yourself feel a little bit better, maybe you can try to switch your mind to believe that he did that out of being tired, but he has really no intention of insulting you or hurting you personally. Hope this will help yourself feel at ease, and change your perception with your boss. Because it will be difficult to work with someone having some unsettled issues. And well, I know (based on my own opinion), you cannot discuss it openly with him...

Yes, I feel worse as I was not able to depend myself. When he told me that, I just can't think of a word to say. He's the boss. I don't know if he sees that but I am usually easy to read. I just left after returning him his keys, I did not say a word. I should have reminded him to be more careful with his car keys, and so as with his words. I am disappointment as I thought he would be happy that I am returning his keys. This is exactly what he said when I returned his keys: "I was looking for it everywhere. It's a good thing you are still using your brain sometimes." So I guess, that is how brainy people do - left their keys and forgot where they placed them then insult those people that would return the keys to them. He is really so much.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts hereandthere. I don't think I can tell our HR about it. I've heard so much incidents in here where bosses would humiliate their staff but nothing happened. No justice at all. What I noticed here is that they like making fun of others specially those who have lower positions. We're really hoping the the top management would be changed. We're praying and hoping that the present head of our office would be dismissed but we're worried that one of his subordinates will be taking the position so most likely, nothing will change. I kept my distance to this boss after the incident. We do talk and discuss work related things but I no longer care much. Like if there's an occasion and there's food in the office, I won't bother to bring him food in his table.

just like fatlex, i tend to be frozen by shock by such incidents so i can't react instantly. then mostly likely, it would get in the way of my work the rest of the day, like i would space out every now and then reliving it. if i were a gutsy and witty person, i'd probably say, "so that's why they haven't fired me yet!" while it's true some smart people are absent-minded, i noticed that the way he treated you (i.e., repeating instructions to make sure you understand, commenting on your initiative and honesty) was as if you're just one of his paid helpers at home that was only able to finish grade six from a remote province. furthermore, it's not that you're expecting him to be overly grateful, but i'm guessing even an unemotional "okay, just leave it on my desk" would have been far better than that loaded comment. so maybe he's under pressure because work has piled up while he was away, maybe he's projecting his frustration with the company on you (because like you, he's seeing things that he didn't see before), or maybe he's had or is having bad experience with househelp, it's still unwarranted. but since we know we're human and all prone to mistakes and outbursts, he would have also recognized it and apologized. would you be willing to tell HR about it?

That sounds like a good idea.. Oh granted its on here.. What happen is time-stamped and if he does get worse you can use what you wrote down here towards the "next case".. I hope nothing goes wrong but it just keeps a record for you; dates and stuff like that..

Thanks for your response. My previous boss is worst so we're thankful that a new boss came. Not knowing that he is the same. I don't really have plans at the moment of reporting this to our HR as no one heard him said it except him and I. But if he happens to said that in front of many, I'll have to report him to the HR Department.

Thanks katie. I exactly felt that way. Did I really lose my brain or something? Do brainless people do return car keys to owner? I should have just let him look for his keys and never cared about it.

that is what he deserved paper_doll for what he said to you. i would have just not returned it to him if i had know he is to say something so rude like that!

I totally agree with you. You can't really expect your subordinates to respect you if you won't treat them fairly. The way I see it, he's just a boss and not a leader. There's a big difference between the two.

Thank you, I did not speak although I am so upset with the insult. I know that it may cause more problems if I answer back. I really didn't want my resentment to take me the wrong way.

Anyway past is past. Try to leave them from your mind and go back to your works as usual with your full energy. Dedicate each moment of your life with your god he will surely help you to get out from troubles.

That is so true. Those incidents make us think of having to write our resignation letter or look for another job. Yes it would be nice if this job would be something that we won't be needing to deal with a boss. A business of our own, or working at home is probably the best. Yes, some people do change when they are already at the top. Hope that we will always keep our feet on the ground. Thanks for sharing!

Thank you gracia. How we treat other people would really tell what kind of person we are. Yes, I do regret returning those keys. If I just thrown that paper bag, my life has been better that day.

Like I said, this is very common in our office. Those who occupy higher positions are harsh in dealing with their staff. Actually, those who answer back will risk his own career in here. You will never reach the top if you are going to oppose them. You have to become their dogs to be able to walk your way to success. I don't think I want that kind of life. I am not even that type of person so I hope that sooner or later, the management will change. Thanks so much. It is indeed true that high education won't really dictate if one is a good person or not.

Yes, that's the only thing he told when I returned his keys. Should I take that as a compliment for doing a good deed? How can a boss be careless about his staff feelings. I expect him to at least say thank you.

Just dont mind it. He's a boss. Take things professionally. Not personally. We do good deeds as a volunteer, we are not asking in return.

Thanks wolfie, you really said it right. I agree with you. Like I said, I am so much disappointed with his behavior. It is really hard for me now to respect him for what he has said.

Hi med, I was really enlightened upon reading your response. I totally agree with you. It already happened, I can't do something about it anymore but I can definitely do something in the future. You are so right. I've been very nice with my boss as I really had a bad experience with my previous boss. Like you said, I became too friendly and really treated him as a family. I never forget to greet him when he arrive every morning. I bring him food everytime there's an occasion at the office. I always prioritize his requests and I am doing all of those with a smile and a happy heart. I was in fact very happy that he is our boss. So I guess, I did a wrong thing. I should be more serious now and will always remember that we're not a family. He is not my father but my boss. I still feel sad about it as I really thought that he was happy about my performance. I felt really disappointed with what he did yesterday, but now, I feel disappointed with my self. I will try to be more vocal and will not be afraid to voice out my opinions, that is what I've learned from all of you here. Thank you so much.

Thanks gaiza, respect should be observed all the time. I am sure that he knows that. I think I will have to give a copy of our core values for him to remember what do you think? Like I said, the least I expect yesterday was a simple thank you for returning his keys. No need for commendation or anything of that sort. Unfortunately, it is the other way around. It is heartbreaking that doing a good deed can put you in this kind of situation.

Yes, that is why I do regret being too friendly to him. He never cared at all. He is actually sick and was not able to report to work today.

Contrary to that, he is very much educated. So you will really wonder why he acted that way. He should go review his values education class. I agree with you that they really should be verified mentally as I have really seen many bosses who really needs that.

Thanks rizza, you are very brave and I admire you. I honestly don't know if I can do or say that but I really hope I can as I felt really stupid yesterday. Imagine, I was with this big smile when I returned his keys and I still wear that smile when he said those words to me. I don't really know how to react so I just left. I don't understand sometimes why some people here act that way when they swear to demonstrate trust and respect for everyone. I guess he must have forgotten our core values.