Love or selfishness?
By Daisy_22
@Daisy_22 (1229)
Philippines
October 18, 2012 3:39am CST
I'm in love with a foreigner and now he is planning to go back to his country. His flight was supposedly last night but was cancelled due to the insufficient papers as his requirements in going home...I don't want to be hypocrite so i will really say that i'm quite happy with what happen.Is that selfishness?I know i can just be happy for a few days but he can still leave next few days........He is right now sad for he is badly needed with his family. In my conscience, i ask myself is this love i feel for him or it's already selfishness. I know that it's best for me to let him go since his family needs him but i'm not ready to let go of the memories for a year.
2 people like this
20 responses
@bhabycatch013 (9150)
• Philippines
18 Oct 12
hi daisy,
I think it's not selfishness at all it's not your fault that he is not able to go back to his country maybe it was destined that he stay here for a few days so make it a best time together.
When we love someone we become selfish somehow but you did not wish that it will happen so don't get it wrong just enjoy the few days with him
happy mylotting
@Kashidanga1971 (1354)
• Bangladesh
19 Oct 12
Not It was not your selfishness. You were fortunate enough to avil he was to cancell the flight.
@Joanessee (21)
• Philippines
18 Oct 12
Hi Daisy,
I'm in love with a foreigner too!!! Last time we were together was June 2012. We spent more than a month with each other and I enjoyed every moment, every day with him. He proposed to me to! Yes, I'm enggaged. Yay!! Anyways, I really wished that that 1 month would never end but it had too. He needed to go back to his country because he didn't have much money anymore and he really had to go back. You're not being selfish Daisy. I feel you. On the day I had to drive with him to the airport, I was secretly hoping that his flight would be cancelled or something would happen for him to extend his stay. But I also realized that he has his life there and he has to go back because that's where he belongs. It was very hard to let him go seriously I was going to break down and I was thinking of getting inside his luggage bag! Haha. But I also tried to be strong and calm, I didn't want him to see me crying. (But before we left our hotel room on our way to the airport, I really cried a lot and I hugged him so tight then we danced to our theme song "My Valentines".) He was trying to hold his tears back too I could tell. Then for the last time we hugged each other and kissed each other goodbye. It was so sad but at the same I was happy too because I knew that he surely missed his family back in his country. Before he let go of my hand he whispered he'd come back and I really needed to hear that. It was a sad day. One month wasn't enough but the memories were so many and they're sure enough until he comes back. I'm very excited to see him again and finally marry him. (We're working with my visa now and I'm praying for a quick process coz I'm super excited to be with him). Always be positive Daisy and just think that it won't be always like that. SOmeday you will be together again. ;)
@Daisy_22 (1229)
• Philippines
26 Oct 12
I guess I would be the happiest girl if what happen to you will also going to happen to me,,,Hope you will be my guardian angel!Well I think I don't have any courage to hold his hands before letting go because as of this moment, I already let him go. I don't want him to go with a heavy heart so i decided to give him space.
@marguicha (223720)
• Chile
20 Oct 12
I don`t think it would even be normal if you felt bad because he has to stay a little bit more with you. That would surely mean lack of love. It`s quite difficult to part with the loved one and just a couple more days are cherished. I`m glad you have them
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
20 Oct 12
It's not selfishness,though it looks that way.
When we love someone, we don't want to be apart from each other, not even for single day.
So, I understand your feeling.
It just happened that, the time has come for him to go and that is reality that you must face and accept no matter how it hurts.
@dan_1973 (13)
• Romania
19 Oct 12
If he loves u, he ll come back, or u will travel to see him,even if it s far or seem to be impossible. give it some time, it s hard to love somebody and to be far away but only time will tell what s gonna happen. in this moment u should make the best of the last days together. Don t ask too many questions about the future...and no its not selfish of u.
@fayazkhan313 (5)
•
19 Oct 12
no dear it's not selfishness it's your love which encourage you to do like this.
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
19 Oct 12
You may differentiate what love and happiness all about, my friend. Try to immense yourself with different stages in your life when both of you together. Try to imagine if he is going away in a few days and never be back anymore. Try every possible thinking that maybe awaken your mind if that what you feel really love or only a means of happiness because you and that guy being together...
Determine also if that guy really love you or just meant of togetherness and live being with him at the moment but not a long lasting relationship.
Love shouldn't be doubt but make people free from any distraction. Love must always patient and not selfishness...
@rameshchow (4426)
• India
19 Oct 12
love is nothing but caring.
he stands to care his family.
that is appreciable thing.
you can get many loving people.
but he cannot get many families.
just try to support him as a good friend.
@Harold_ks (1673)
•
18 Oct 12
It is really difficult to be away with your partner, as much as possible, we wanted to be with them, so what you feel is definitely love. It is what anyone would also feel once it happen to them. So just be patient, and just a little sacrifice, he will also be back. Good day!
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
19 Oct 12
I could not blame you for feeling that way coz it only shows that you love this guy and is afraid of losing him. But think of it this way, family always comes first. It should be, right? Then make yourself feel better by letting go of the idea of having him with you. I don't think your relationship would become better if his problem with his family will always be brought up. Am sure this would cause you a lot of arguments. Be happy where he is happy. If you are really meant for each other, God will find a way to have you together again.
@toniganzon (72517)
• Philippines
18 Oct 12
It's only but natural to feel selfishness when we are inlove. I too was selfish and i even told my love about that but he assured me that it's not being selfish at all but being in love.
Just make use of the time he has left with you and hope that he'll feel a bit better.
@Sukeena1961 (343)
• United States
18 Oct 12
Is it love or infatuation? How much do you know about this guy? Are you sure he was called back to his country because he is needed by his family? How long have you known him? I don't know enough about the situation, but here's something I was always told. If you love something let it go, if it comes back to you it's yours if it don't, it never was. Good luck.
@celticeagle (168126)
• Boise, Idaho
18 Oct 12
I don't think you are really inlove with him. after someone has been intimate with another person there are normal feelings for the other person but it isn't love. Just be glad that you didn't have a long relationship and then he left. Give yourself some time and then get on with life and you'll be surprised how quickly you are able to move on.
@Bhebelen14 (5194)
• Philippines
18 Oct 12
Hi Daisy_22, For me, you not a selfishness its more on love and it's normal to be happy because you in love not because what happened to his papers. i think God has a big plan for both of you and He wanted to have a little more time together. I think both of you need to take advantage of the time they gave and enjoy every single moment together.
@aritahime (221)
• Indonesia
18 Oct 12
hi ^^
Honestly, I will feel what you feel when I was in that condition. haha.. I know it's kind of dilemma because in one side, he is sad and really need his family. And on the other side, we can't help our feelings to feel the happiness because he had to cancel his trip. I also hope that the happiness we felt is not selfishness, but some people said that if we love someone, then we want to see him/her happy. And in this case, he is happy when he is with his family. So, I'm confused. :D
@Raine38 (12391)
• United States
18 Oct 12
I don't think that's selfishness, you are happy but for an entirely different reason. I'll try to break it down: you are happy because he gets to stay a couple more days here with you, right? But I am sure that you are not happy that he was not able to go home to his family during this emergency. If you are selfish, then you would be jumping up and down for the fact that he is no longer going away and will do everything within your capacity to make sure that he will never complete his papers anymore.
As for whether it is love you feel for him or not, only you can answer that. If it's going to be of any help, you can always refer to the Bible's definition of love, in Corinthians, if I am not mistaken. Its says love being self-less, it being patient and doesn't delight in evil.
@fatlex06 (895)
• Philippines
18 Oct 12
Why don't you go with him in his country? I think it's not selfishness. I know that it really hurts once your love one will be far away from you. But if he has to let go, let him go. He has his own life and he have to fix and pursue it first. Specially if his family needed him. Don't worry. I think even if you are far away from each other, if there is love, love will always bind you with him.