I choose to be silent!

In my opinion, only you can actually gauge what's gonna be good for you or not. Going to the party can actually have 2 results: one is, you will have one last good memory of him to file away. Something that you can turn to again whenever you want to recall happy memories and experiences. The other one is, it can just make you see what you will never have, or something that you want but cannot happen for now. Which in turn will just hurt you even more. And frankly, I don't think you have to be masochistic to let yourself go through that pain anymore. Not going to the party doesn't mean you are severing any sort of communications with him, right? You will just try to protect your feelings and I think that at this point, there's nothing wrong with that. I trust that you already know what's good for you. Follow what your heart says you should do. At least you will not have any regrets, or what-ifs later on.

Maybe you should go to the party and be able to find the time to talk to him. Just be happy that he will finally be together with his legal family, if this is the situation. In this kind of game, the loser will always be the girl. But at least, now you will be forced to get him out of your system and try to find a man you can call your own, and have no family being broken by you.

I would try to be happy while he is still here so he doesn't go away with memories of sadness and regret. I would try to act normal and not be out of the ordinary but yet serious about the situation at hand. He is leaving and there is reason for sorrow but you don't want to crying and upset everytime you see him. And you want some good memories so I would try to buck up and be nice and pleasant.

Daisy, I had to deal with a similar situation back in April 2003, not even 1 month after our marriage the hardest thing I ever had to do was remain silent while my husband was sent back to his country. But I had no choice....of course all I did was try to find a way for him to be able to stay, he would feel out of place back home because he had been here so long and he had loved America so much but he just did not understand. It was April 2003, almost exactly 1 month after our marriage, I got notice that my husband was in jail and soon I found out he would be going back to his native home. My heart did bleed and feel as though someone had just ripped it out of my chest knowing he would be so far away from me. I could not see him, touch him or even talk to him in person and he was not even gone yet, I wish I'd had the chance to be with him before he had to go because even knowing that leaving him would have been unbearably hard, that would have been a special time for just us and know one would ever take it away... Now when he went home it was a different kind of sorrow and pain but I knew in my heart I could see him again some day. It's now almost 9 years later and I still remember the day I went to see him in jail (this was the last time I saw him in the USA) and he cried saying he couldn't blame me if I forgot about him. His tears tore through my soul like a sword punishing a person for some horrid wrong that they committed, but I was not an enemy just a woman who loved her man. I assured him I would do what I could because I loved him. Even though I did go see him it hurt tremendously but I'm still glad I went. I hope this helps you with what you need to do and yes follow your heart.

I know how much it hurts you and how hard it is to deal with someone who seems so near yet so far. If you choose to be silent then so be it, if that's the easiest way for you to move on. But in my opinion, I will take all the opportunity and time left to be with him and enjoy every moment.

I feel for your pain. I hope it will be gone soon. I think you should go to the party before you regret it. In that time maybe you can express the feelings that you have for him. It is a way to lessen your agony as well. The pain will be there eventhough you don;t attend the party. But I encourage you to be there because you are invited and it may be the chance for you and him to talk. Atleast, your burden will decrease, right? You don't have to be bitter specially if you knew that he will go back to his country for his family. Be proud of him.

Going won't add to your pain, it won't take it away, but it won't add to it, it just adds another memory. That may hurt at first, but the pain fades...

It is okay to show that you are not okay. You can let him know how you feel so you will feel better. Hiding feelings is not really healthy. Just pray and trust God with all His plans. I hope you feel better soon.

You, alone, knows what would happen if you are going to attend that party. It's a farewell party afterall, and it's one thing that you really dread. You don't like the fact that he is leaving because you would be very sad. Won't he ever come back at all? Won't he communicate with you anymore? If it were me, I would spend the rest of his remaining days, enjoying and having fun with him. I'll have good memories to cherish and I will really make use of the time left. I wouldn't sulk and stay away because I consider it a waste of time. Why would I allow myself to suffer when I could just accept the fact and enjoy my time with him? But like i said, it's me and not you. So it's all up to you.

I agree with you, there is no need to pretend you feel happy because he is leaving. He should know about your feelings and it is important to show them. So I also don't agree about what your friend say that you should be happy and cherish the time. This is not the moment to cherish anything yet. About the party this is a hard one. I would not be in the mood for a party but since him leaving is a fact, since your are a part of him I think you should be there and show yourself. Again it's not a problem if you are not shining and people know you don't feel that great about him leaving. Still I think you might regret it if you were not there. BTW don't say you are a loser! You are only one if you feel that way, tell yourself you are, this way you will also be a loser to others. Other people will feel what you think about yourself. Change your attitude! You are a winner, strong personality and you have goals to fight for!

never be afraid, and still you can always communicate with the latest technology that we have. A friend is a friend no matter what and he will always be there for you if ever he leaves, his being your friend will never go away.