Hating someone you don't really know.
By sharksfin
@sharksfin (1091)
Philippines
October 25, 2012 2:53am CST
I came across one quote about hating someone because of jealousy. I can't really understand the idea but it makes sense. Why would you have such a strong negative feeling toward someone you don't really know, in the first place? It could be this person have some qualities or even something that you think you don't have yourself. Of course, many will deny it's jealousy. Who would admit to it? Everyone would be too proud to acknowledge s/he's insecure with another person. But, maybe it's about time that we ask ourselves "why should I dislike a person strongly?" Yes, we may have our own reasons but are those reasons enough to justify "dislike", "hatred" and "anger"?
The most common reason I know why girls hate another girl is because they think the girl's stuck up or geeky or vain. But, what is it to us if they're like that? I mean, unless we're directly affected by their behavior or demeanor, right? Let them be. The best way to live is to live and let live. Because we can't just try and make people be who they aren't. Just because we think it's not nice that they're this and that, we have the right to act or react a certain way to the point of disliking them and make them feel that. They can't live according to how we think they should. In the same way, nobody has the right to make us feel uncomfortable being around them because they don't like a certain attitude we have. None of us is created to please everyone all the time. That's a hard thing to do.
So, if you start disliking, hating or saying something not nice about another person, ask yourself first... "ok, she's vain and plastic and all that but if she's not directly treating me badly, why should I care?" "That's the way she is so, I just gotta let her be and be concerned about my own flaws than scrutinizing the flaws of others."
Your take?
2 people like this
11 responses
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
25 Oct 12
I agree with you my friend. We don't have a right to judge a girl by her looks. Much more make her feel uncomfortable when we are with friends, just because you have told them how you perceive her to be.
Sometimes, we tend to judge a girl, by the way they dress. But have you talked to her or known something about her that you would already pass judgement on her.
I think when girls do that, they are simply ENVIOUS!
1 person likes this
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
25 Oct 12
Amen, if we judged everyone by thier looks 80% of the world would be disliked.
@riyauro (6421)
• India
25 Oct 12
I can say that you have the point. Most of the time we are like jealous of others and that is why we hate them though we don't know them. I think it is good policy to not bother or feel bad. Just not take it too personally if you are not jealous. I am for you. very well said.. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead. 
@sharksfin (1091)
• Philippines
25 Oct 12
Thank you for your comment, riyauro. It is highly appreciated. May we all realize that every person has their own flaws and each of us are work in progress so let us just be tolerant of each other instead of hating each other.
@Graptopetalum (1807)
• Canada
25 Oct 12
riyauro, how much is jealosy really the root of the problem? It seems to me that people tend to hate those lower on the social ladder rather than those higher up.
@Graptopetalum (1807)
• Canada
25 Oct 12
People have hated me all my life and I don't know why. I'm not sure people who hate me know why. Everybody seemed to assume that this was my fault but didn't seem able to tell me what I was doing wrong. As I'm a white, heterosexual male nobody really cared about this. I think some people have some genes or something that make people like them or not like them. This explains why decent boys have trouble getting girlfriends while the scumbags seem to get the girls. And then the girls complain about how terrible men are and how they got into abusive relationships!
You make it sound as if females are lot more prone to hating each other for stupid reasons than males. Perhaps this is right. My sister allways used to say bad things about all the female performers on Top of the Pops (long running British music show).
@Graptopetalum (1807)
• Canada
26 Oct 12
I think a factor that's often overlooked is discrimination against nerds/geeks. This is probably a medical condition (related to or the same as the Myers-Briggs NT temprement, Aspergers syndrome and/or Schizotypal personality disorder but there also seems to be a factor of poor coordination and lack of physical strength) but AFAIK no research has been done on this. The anti-bullying campagne seems to concentrate on homosexuals (as victims) but never mentions nerds! I think this is part of why I've had so much trouble with people not liking me. The fact that I look Jewish and have a Jewish sounding name but wasn't raised Jewish and have no known Jewish ancestry is probably another reason why people persecute me but nobody seems to care about them doing it.
@flapiz (23153)
• United Kingdom
25 Oct 12
Hi Sharksfin! I think you have a point there. We sometimes dislike people due to our insecurities. It might be because we want to be like them or it may be because they are a lot like us we feel we are not original. Or it may be because he or she got away with something you can't get away with. But anyhow, I think that hate feeling will be hard to control as we don't even notice that we hate that person because we are insecure.
@sharksfin (1091)
• Philippines
25 Oct 12
Thank you flapiz for your comment. I agree with you. It's really hard for us to detect that it's already insecurity that's eating us. And it's the worse kind of sickness. We'll never be able to trace the rotten fruit we have inside only because our focus is on what we perceive are the wrongs and/or flaws of the people we dislike. I believe in the idea that people are brought into our lives for a purpose. God sends people we need not the people we want because we have to learn something. We have to learn that we gotta love ourselves and accept who we are as we are in order to not live in hate. Happy day to you! ^_^
@Graptopetalum (1807)
• Canada
25 Oct 12
flapiz, is insecurity really at the root of irational hatred? I don't know but it sounds too simplistic at best.
@Graptopetalum (1807)
• Canada
25 Oct 12
Daisy, I'm not sure how much insecurity has to do with it. I think some people do seem to take an instant like or dislike to others for no apparent reason. In my experienc, if I ignore such feelings, I live to regret it, so it may be a psychic thing.
@Graptopetalum (1807)
• Canada
25 Oct 12
Raine, there are some people you probably should avoid like gangsters and abusive people. Then apearances and reputations can be deceptive and some appently respectable people can be dangerous or perhaps dangerous for you but not such a problem for most others.
@moneymaka (492)
• United States
25 Oct 12
It's really confusing to me how people would be so cruel as to hate other people just because their jealous of them, I could never be that type of person, I actually started a discussion similar to this a while back about how people hate on me because they think I'm smarter or I act like I'm smarter, but it's really their hate and jealousy that blinds them. I just decided to become a lonely person for now on, If I want friends Ill get friends but if I want to be alone I will be alone.
@GemmaR (8517)
•
25 Oct 12
I think that there are a lot of people who hate people who they don't know, because if they hear that there is somebody who might be a threat to us then this it the reason that we might hate them. I know that there was somebody who was mean to one of my friends earlier this year, and I chose to hate them because of this and I know that this might not be entirely fair because of the fact that I don't really know them, and it might just be something that I need to talk to them about and try to sort things out.
@natliegleb (5175)
• India
25 Oct 12
well i have experienced it on more than one occasions and its just even phone call torture whom we dislike and some stranger who keeps irritating in bus,just because of behavior we dislike them,i certainly do
@Gretchen522 (715)
• China
25 Oct 12
Yes,sometimes we hate someone we don't really know, but as I know a woman hate another woman most because of jealousy, a woman hate man most becaues of hurt.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
25 Oct 12
Hate is a strong word. Id rather say I dont care about someone. To me hate is when you just cant stand them. Or want to do them harm. If you dont know them that well, this isnt good. Hope you are having a great day there.
