I really don't feel sorry for you; so stop trying

I agree with you. It's very hard to feel bad for someone who doesn't even bother to take care of themselves. If it's such an issue she should go to the doctor and have the procedure done so she can swallow without gagging and vomiting. Some people just like to have sympathy from others and will stay sick just to get pity from people. I'm not saying she has this or anything, I'm just saying there are people actually like that.

I think I know how you feel. Both of my parents are, how should I say, quite youthfully challenged. In other words they are old. But that in itself is not the problem. They are both in very poor shape and I strongly feel that the main reason that they are in failing health has to do, in large part, because they did not listen to my suggestions. Health care for them some years ago was not rocket science. It was common sense. Unfortunately common sense is not too common. If they had listened to me, they would be in far better health than they are now. My father has a very serious heart condition. He is so stubborn and many times gets frustrated with himself because he can't do what he used to do. I haven't really told him how I feel and just how aggravating all of this is to me but I have admitted that I am at the end of my rope. I bought out time from my busy life to make phone calls and visit places of business that specialize in home health care for the elderly. It was all we could do to convince both my mother and father that this is what they need otherwise they will end up in a home. My father was a bit defensive at first and it took about 4 months before he adjusted to my hired help. And Mom? Well, she's a different story. You never know what to expect from her. Let me back up to the time just before the home health care came. My father must take his medications or he will end up in the hospital. It has happened a few times with him in the past. Well, he was scheduled for a procedure and was instructed to stop taking one of his meds. Do you know what he decided to do? He casually decided to stop taking all of his meds. I was furious. And sure enough, he was in the hospital 2 days later. The staff was very reluctant to release him to go back home. They wanted to send him to assisted living. So I'm busting my back doing everything I possibly can to keep him and Mom living at home. Yet after being talked to by my brother about the fact that he has no choice but to accept the help, he would still put up a defense. He had to give up driving and I now have his car. He would belly ache about that too. He thinks he can still drive. The only thing he's driving is me, right up the wall. No don't get me wrong, I do love my parents, but this has gone on entirely too long. I am tired. There's not a day that goes by where I don't think about what could have been. What a difference their lives and my life would be if they had done what I suggested. I have other family members who are probably just as aggrivated as I am but I am only speaking for myself. So I have to say that I too agree with your post title. I feel more sorry for me and the hardship that all of this is putting me through.

I wonder if she has LRP. It's stomach acid in the throat. My daughter has this. She went to various doctor. One told her "it was in just in her head." (I dislike doctors that do that. I'd like to slap them) My girl kept trying and found a doctor who'd listen. It was a miserable time for her, with so many doctors not wanting to help her. She wanted to give up. I don't know if that's her problem or not. I do know how frustrated, and angry, you probably feel with her. I don't know if she's not going to a doctor because she's afraid of the whole "it's all in your head" they're so fond of saying or if she just likes the sympathy. She needs to do the research online, and find out what she can do to help herself. If she isn't willing, there's not a lot you can do. She has to be willing to do some of the work herself. Maybe when she starts that whole throwing up thing, just walk away. Refuse to stand near her while she's doing it. I can't be near someone doing it. Otherwise I'm doing it too. Ick! If nobody wants to be around her, she might get the message. If she doesn't, tell her exactly why you're leaving.

I don't understand her logic at all. It is not a waste of time if you had it done and it helped for you. She is just harming herself more by not going to the DR. My dad had esophagus cancer and after the op he had that problem for awhile. The food got stuck in his throat real bad one time and he had to go to the hosptial. He has been fine with it now but I think they did something similar for him like stretching it--one time, but I'm not sure it was awhile ago. I just pray she can wise up one day and listen to you. It takes some people a huge scare before they will listen I have have found.

I think you have to talk with your mother. Give her spirit and you have to be patient. That's my true experience. I believe sometimes your mother will understand that you are really love her. Love can solve all your problem although it sometimes need more time

Did you just say she is your mother? And still you won't do anything? I understand that she is stubborn not to go to doctors. But you are her son, an adult. Force her if she doesn't want to. Please understand something. People sometimes don't love living in a healthy way but people who love her can make her feel important . My mother was suffering from depression so much so that she kept on washing herself again and again. We called a doctor at home. And I had to be very very patient with her. After 5 years of treatment she is back a normal mother. So don't lose hope. If he becomes stubborn , even you can be. Pretend that you will stop eating if she doesn't consult a doctor. Try all sorts of ways but it is your responsibility to cure her.

We all got our limits. Sometimes when we get pushed to the edge, even if we don't wanna say it, we blurt out "That's enough!" We are only human and we have to realize that limits is a part of being a human being. Your mom is still your mom even if she gets too annoying like this but you don't have to quit being her child. You still are, and maybe the only thing that you need to do is get some air and relax.

I have a 36 year old sister, who is the same way. She just wants pitty. Sounds like your mother is the same. They want us to feel sorry for them. I always wondered if my sister was ill in the head. As this isnt normal. Have a great day there, I know how you feel.

me too, seriously.