A question of "self dignity" when you are into a quarrel with someone close????
By Gautam1002
@Gautam1002 (730)
India
October 29, 2012 11:09am CST
I am not trying to particularize any given relation! It is not a surprise you get into fight with your loved ones. And when I say loved ones, there is more than just loving them. But what when heads burn up and eyes turn red. I am a kind of person seldom getting into a situation like this. I try coming out far before. But this unavoidable situation is still needed to be faced at some point. Quarrel often results in hurting one or both. It gets a different view when one takes other's word in a way of hammering his respect. The fight then does not remain a thing not needed to be pondered over. If anyone gets to have a feeling of pride or prestige issue enters, it can ruin even the strongest relation. What do you do in such situations? Do you consider yourself a cool and calm person? Do you think it is very difficult for you to even imagine such a situation with yourself? Beware!! You are the one who is highly vulnerable to this situation then.
Responses and comments are invited. Thank you
1 person likes this
4 responses
@celticeagle (168369)
• Boise, Idaho
30 Oct 12
Quarrels usually do not have any pride or prestige involved. They are usually due to anger or something completely different from what trhey even say they are. Something just needed to be said regardless. I am cool and calm now, I didn't used to be such. My ex would get drunk and have some idea stuck in his head. He would start the quarrel about this obsurd idea he had. And nothing I could say would reduce his anger and the quarrel would continue until I was exhausted. What good does this sort of thing do anyone? None I would think.
1 person likes this
@Gautam1002 (730)
• India
5 Nov 12
I agree. We should indeed have a habit of tolerating, and more so when someone dear to us is getting rude. But again I highlight, we should develop. doesn't necessarily mean we do it always, or at least at the moment when it is needed most. A slight feeling of disrespect or prestige hurt could ruin the relations. It goes all well when the fight is unnoticed at the soul depth howsoever serious fight it may be.
@Gautam1002 (730)
• India
5 Nov 12
Let me give you an advice. Do not take it the other way. You are young and your anger cannot be controlled, let this statement come from others. Your effort should always be to have a complete control over yourself howsoever young or aged you are. If you have a impact of the statement above, you may develop a tendency to excuse yourself with anything and everything.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Oct 12
hi gautam I am surpised at looking b ack at m y marriage. I have been widowed for a long time but we seldom had bad fights , we disagreed and we worked it out and it was always done so we both benefited. my husband was the cockeyed optimist me the pessimist b ut he taught me to look at life with hope and love and laughter so he was not one to fight about things at all. oh we disagreed at times but we sat down talked it out and
we reached good conclusions. I have a good
marriage for 33 years.
we reached good conclusions. I have a good
marriage for 33 years.@Gautam1002 (730)
• India
5 Nov 12
I got your words Hatley. It was very sweet of your relation and you have already experienced a lot which we are to see ahead. And maturity of your husband was the rubber, provided the elasticity to your relationship.
I want to know from you, what if you both acted childish? Moreover what if one loses his temper to an extent so as to hurt other at the deepest vessel? Or one takes every other sentence to his dignity?
It is difficult to manage then!
@doroffee (4222)
• Hungary
29 Oct 12
I'm a stubborn person. If I feel that I'm a 100% percent right about something, and someone hurts me, I'm not going to apologize... but only when I'm a 100% right or sure. In other situations, I try to negotiate, like I admit my fault, if you admit yours. I feel as if there are huge arguments that can't be solved, it may not only mean that one of us is acting too stubbornly but that those people just don't have the same vibes.
1 person likes this
@Gautam1002 (730)
• India
5 Nov 12
I am in support of you when you say you are stubborn only when you know you are cent % right. I too like to be same. The main point here is knowing yourself the best and also the world. It should be kept in mind that you are right from your and others' perspective as well.
