A Drive-by Groping
By GreenMoo
@GreenMoo (11833)
November 13, 2012 1:09am CST
I have a neighbour who won't leave well alone. He's not as bad as he used to be, but takes any opportunity to catch me alone and make inappropriate suggestions. A couple of months ago I thought I'd finally shown him that I wasn't interested by kicking him hard as he grabbed my legs as I was climbing through a window (long story!).
Obviously it wasn't enough.
A couple of days ago I had to drive past him and he flagged me down. There was no way to pretend I hadn't seem him so I pulled to a stop. It's a small village and we do have to deal with this guy from time to time, so I hesitate to cut him off completely. Anyway, he started his usual. Would I like to go for a drink with him? Would I like to .. well, you get the picture. I did the normal, which was tell him I didn't think it was a good idea to have this conversation and that I wasn't interested, then said I was in a hurry and had to go.
Then he changed the subject and tried to sell me some goat manure. I told him to speak to my husband and went to drive off again. Then he grabbed at my closest breast through the window. Not discretely, not subtly, no chance that he could have been doing anything other than what he was. Yuk. He's touched me before, but in such a way that it could have been an accident (well, other than the time he grabbed me half in the window, but he could have claimed he was 'helping me' then). This was so blatant!
So, I'm furious. Not particularly that he touched me, he didn't do me any harm. But that he had the barefaced cheek to even think of doing it!
Next time he flags me down perhaps I'll accidentally run him over instead.
Have you ever had a neighbour who overstepped the mark?
5 people like this
12 responses
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
13 Nov 12
I don't have a neighbour like that thank heavens. However, you have been assaulted. Of course there is little point in taking it to the police because they will probably dismiss you out of hand as it is his word against yours. Unless of course other women have been similarly asaulted. I do think that you need to make it clear to him that such approaches are unelcome. My mother, when she was a social worker, used to carry a piece of lead pipe in the car. If someone tried anything he'd receive a whack on the offending part of his anatomy (usually a hand) from her pipe. Of course it wasn't sanctioned officially but it did work apparently. Of course these days she'd be carted off to prison. But he might think twice if you had something similar. Alternatively, does he have a wife? Perhaps a chat with her might persuade him to lay off?
1 person likes this
@GreenMoo (11833)
•
13 Nov 12
He has a perfectly charming wife, who I'd hate to bother. I suspect she knows exactly what sort of slimy scumbag she's married to though, her son certainly does. When the son overheard good ole' dad trying to offer me a lift home from a community event (with my own car and husband sat there waiting to escort me), he raised his eyes to heaven in a 'not again' type gesture.
I don't like the word assault as it lessens the trauma of those who have suffered far worse. But in the eyes of the law I expect you are right. The plus side of talking to the police is that they have a record should events escalate of course, or as you say, if my story collaborates another. I won't be doing so though. I haven't found them particularly sympathetic in previous dealings.
@GreenMoo (11833)
•
13 Nov 12
I agree that his behaviour is wrong. But his wife might just resent the intrusion (don't shoot the messenger ...). And what is there to suggest she can make him toe the line now if she's had 30 odd years to work on him already?
I'm wondering who else I can call upon for support around here. I'm beginning to wish I'd never made this post now. Earlier I was just angry, now I'm a little worried.
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
14 Nov 12
Hiya GM.,
Yes and more than once that kind of thing has happened to me as well. One "friend" overstepped the mark without going into a very long boring story and he kept that theme going for ages till thank goodness he found another one to be interested in was I hurt felt jilted? None of that I was so glad he was bothering someone else and not me this was while I was married.
That is the trouble you know the more you get annoyed with them the more they come back so you are doing the right thing like I did.
I learned how to get around those kind of men ages ago not that the same trick will always work with all of them.
Have a great week.xxx
1 person likes this
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
15 Nov 12
Hiya GM,
Right on they do not understand they do have a one track mind but all the time. I was watching a real happening where at least 3 women are putting up with one of those and they are logically afraid of losing their job as you know things over here are pretty tough going.
What they are putting up with is not right at all what if women were to do the same?
What say you?
I say nay for this I am a nay sayer because we should not have to tolerate this.xxx
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6340)
• Australia
14 Nov 12
I would have slapped his face at the very least. I think the other suggestions here are also good. People like this are disgusting and unless someone fixes him he will not stop. You could report him to police. They will not be able to do anything but it would go in their files for future reference and if there is an attack in the village his name would come up as a possible suspect based on past reports.
@GreenMoo (11833)
•
14 Nov 12
I'd need a very long arm to slap him from inside the car! To be honest, he took me completely by surprise. I knew the guy was a creep, but didn't believe he'd have the gall to touch me up on the public road. I'll know better next time.
I could report him to the police, and there is a part of me which says I ought for the reason you mention. My dealings with the local police to date haven't filled me with enthusiasm for further dealings with them though, and I feel the incident was a very minor one which left me angry but otherwise completely unscathed.
1 person likes this
@GreenMoo (11833)
•
19 Nov 12
I agree with you Sharra, and am in one of those situations where I feel that I'll be culpable if he does it again yet really don't feel reporting him will do more than provide me with stress I could do without.
Yes I'm sure I could find someone to 'teach him a lesson.' Sadly though, if it were reported, THEY would be the ones in trouble, not him. I would not ask that of someone.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
13 Nov 12
What a nasty pig!
I don't see any reason why you should try to be polite to this type of person. What does your husband think of all this?
1 person likes this
@GreenMoo (11833)
•
13 Nov 12
Understandably unimpressed!
It's a really small community and I'd rather not cause any problems. I've learnt that it's not worth making waves as malicious gossip never goes in your favour when you're the outsider. Unfortunately, this bloke is fairly well thought of locally, his wife is lovely and his son is the president of the local association and works for the local council.
1 person likes this
@grandpa_lash (5225)
• Australia
14 Nov 12
When I was younger, I was travelling home in a peak hour train when the whole carriage erupted into laughter as a young female voise said, very loudly, "Alright Columbus, keep your exploring to somebody else's continent". An extremely red-faced chappie left the train at the next stop.
If he does it in public, why not let go with something very similar? A slapped face might also accompany the comment productively.
Lash
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
18 Nov 12
I can't recall a neighbour behaving badly in that way but there was one time when I was walking to work from the train station.
The street was crowded with all the folk going to work and a fellow grabbed my boob as he passed me. He squeezed and jiggled as he passed and I just went into shock.
I was on auto pilot anyway (as you are on the way to work) and I remember wondering if "that" just actually happened. I was shaking badly by the time I arrived at work and I was practically incoherent as I tried to tell my boss what happened. It was the vilest feeling.
@elisa812 (3026)
• United States
13 Nov 12
Wow! That's awful! I can't believe that some people could actually behave that way. It seems especially crazy that he would try that stuff when he knows you are married! How frustrating to have to live near someone like that. You'd think he would eventually get a clue. So sorry you have to put up with that guy! I would definitely just ignore him and drive right past him next time. He certainly doesn't mind being rude with you, so I wouldn't even worry if it seemed rude to him!
@coolimrose (539)
• New Zealand
14 Nov 12
This is crazy and bad.real bad.Tell your husband tell the elders whoever can get him to stop.but you know what if he leaves you he will catch someone else.Get him arrested.How on earth People must understand that if the girl is not interested them leave her alone.After all there are so many more fishes in the ocean.can he grope you like this.Why did not you slap him.Yes run him down.....just saying i know that's not right but please don't stand this nonsense.What is your hubby saying.Cant he go to this man and kiss his ***please take care be safe and always stand for your right.If you will make the effort believe me it will not only you but many others will be saved too.Please take care.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
13 Nov 12
Yes...my former neighbor did this....not grope but hug and pull me close and it pissed me off because his wife is a good friend of mine. Now when I see him coming I make sure we are outside where everyone can see. He did move across town so its not as easy for him to just stop over. He used to do my lawn work etc....so he had an excuse to come in the house...to get paid.
@bounce58 (17385)
• Canada
13 Nov 12
I guess this is what differentiates people from animals. Some just don't have the decency to control themselves. Or some even have the nerve to pull a stunt like that.
I guess he shouldn't be treated no different than an animal that does the same thing.
Glad that you're OK though!
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
13 Nov 12
I would never put up with that.... get on the phone and report it to the police.
