Marrying a Distant Cousin

Not gonna happen with me because I dont want deformed babies or babies with brain disorders. I will rather date someone outside of my race because I am guaranteed that my partner is 100% not my cousin,my kids will have higher immunity with diseases and biracial babies are cute. I have attrative cousins but I am not weak enough to cross the line.

This actually happened to me. I just found out 10 days ago that I'm married to my 4th cousin. We have been together for 4 years but have known each other for 35 years and never knew we were related by blood. It is really ironic how it all came to light. My husband never knew his father's side of the family and his mother has been tight lipped about everything. She is very adamant about taking the truth to her grave. It all began when my husband's aunt on his father's side contacted us on facebook claiming that she thought she was related to him. After a long discussion and answering a few questions their relationship was confirmed. During our conversation, she had mentioned the names of some of their relatives that was familiar from my childhood. I began thinking if it was just a coincidence that we had relatives with the same name. So, I started a family tree on ancestry.com. Low and behold, my great grandmother and my husband's grandfather are sister & brother. Thus, making us 4th cousins. This revelation has thrown me for a loop. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. My husband makes jokes about it but I'm still trying to deal with it. Being married to my cousband is a large pill to swallow.

I don't think I can. back in my younger days- one of my distant cousin indeed ask permission from my parents is he can court me. But my parents never agreed- and I don't like the idea as well. I am not comfortable with the thought- even if he is a distant cousin or relatives.

In my country,,It really matters who married to whom..But in terms of mature love nothing matters.But you want my personal perception for this,,,I would rather say no...

It is a culture of some people that they can marry their cousins especially the Chinese, for Filipinos it seldom happen because parents wont allow their children to marry some relatives.And its not good in the eyes of the people.Even if I love my cousin I will sacrifice my feelings just to keep my morality.

Get Married Asap, parents have to accept you dont worry

I see no problem with this whatsoever. Of course there are many people who would disagree, so the major concern ids how the reaction of others will affect your relationship. The reason for the law against marrying a family member has nothing to do with morals, that is simply a modern impression created by the existence of the law. The law exists in order to avoid problems concerning the child. many disadvantaged children where the result of close family relationships caused by the similarity of genetic background.

My husband's relatives said that my husband and me are actually relatives. They explained it to us before how are we related to each other but I just couldn't inculcate it into my mind. I guess the kinship is already so far way. If he is my first cousin to fourth cousin, I won't marry him. LOL. I don't pay much attention to it anymore. They said that if you marry someone in your bloodline such as your own brother or sister, your kids will have some abnormalities in the future. I'm not sure about that. Anyway, I guess all of us are related to each other. We've came from one couple, Adam and Eve. Thanks for sharing and happy mylotting.

I'm already a mom. If that happens to one of my children, I would give my blessing to them. I understand that only marriage between first cousins is not legal. If they love each other why prevent them of their happiness.

There does not seem much wrong with marrying a distant cousin and from the replies so far I think this may be more of a cultural attitude than a biological one. A distant relative may be quite suitable, having the same background and social standing and if love is added to the mix the marriage will be a happy one. I agree that the opinion of parents should be taken into account but the couple concerned have to make their own decisions and live with them. I would not let the traditions of a past generation stop me marrying the person I loved.

This happens often here in Mexico. It used to happen more than now. As a few years ago dr. were reporting that some kids born with help problems was caused by the parent being related. So many have stopped marrying their cousins here. Thanks for the great post today.

Hi there ! May it be 4th , 3rd or what ever degree you are into still you are relative , your blood is his blood ! I can't imagine , it is really an aweeee and yaky marrying your relative. Why choose to love your relative when the ocean have many fishes , look for people whom you are not related with , in this way you can have a peaceful relationship, free from guilty feelings. If one chooses to love and marry a relative , for sure your whole clan will be in trouble , then everybody will curse you ! So no peace in your relationship only guilty feelings will be experience by both of you. So best thing to do is never marry a cousin though it is not a sin but morally it is not good .

Would love to listen & respect what our parents say in this regard & not go beyond that. Blessing of parents are important in life.

Parents blessings is very important in marriage. I don't think I'll marry without the blessings of my parents.

I don't think I would. Even if I were say third cousins or we were otherwise related I really wouldn't want to. There are too many things that could go wrong on a genetic level such as mental retardation or other inherited things that I just would not take the chance. There is a reason why we are not supposed to marry family members. And even though third cousins or whatever are not that close they do still share the same grandparents or great grandparents, etc. Besides those reasons it would just be too weird for me to do it. Have a great day and happy myLotting!!!

You know I've heard about this scenario on a friend of mine but unfortunately the girl denied him because they're cousins and couldn't last long. there are some people out there that marries their cousins, though not the first,second and third, mostly distant. I think it's better to marry some one outside the family line, it's like were becoming instinct anyways we are way too many out there to choose from

I think that my parents' blessings are important to me more than anything else. In reality, I wouldn't fall for a relative. A relative whether from 4th, 5th, degree will always be a relative.

I once started a discussion almost the same with this.The only difference is that it does not end up until marrying, it's just falling in love. Frankly speaking I'm not into this but once upon a time in my life I also do fall in love with my cousin.It's really difficult since you never intended to fall for that relative.Our mistake is only we fall in love. Criticisms are always given by the people that surrounds us. As of now,I'm still trying to move on but there is still a little feeling in my heart.

I am one of those who are opposing to marry a distant cousin. I said so because for me, even if it is distant, still, there is a factor that my blood is flowing in his blood also. I am also attached with that close family ties as a practice and I 'll consider my distant cousins as my brother also.

I thinks its a difficult decission to think and to choose,but for me,i would not,theres a lot girls or boys we can meet maybe one of them we fall inlove with,