My Niece Is Like Me...
By Bluebell18
@Bluebell18 (636)
United States
November 20, 2012 4:06pm CST
The players have changed...the game hasn't.
When I was a kid, like many others I was bullied by these snot nosed girls that couldn't stand me because I developed earlier, started my period before them, and I was smarter than they were...by a long shot. There's a lot that I kept hidden from my family what happened to me in school. I'd go to my grave before I let them know.
Now my niece is ten years old; a mere doppleganger like me. She's smart, cute in the face and she developed early as well. She too, is being bullied. When she tells me these awful stories about who said this, who did what, my guard comes down and I want to do what I wanted to do to those girls that are doing the same to me, but I can't. I won't always be there to protect her, but she really needs to learn how to defend herself. Sometimes I feel its not my place to do anything. I see myself in my niece, the one that always wanted to make friends with everyone but gets shot down when she opens her mouth. What do I do?
5 responses
@41CombedaleRoad (5952)
• Greece
21 Nov 12
Perhaps you should share a little of your childhood experiences with her. She has a shining example in her aunt and she should get strength from you. Ten is young to cope with such problems and i appreciate that you would need to be very careful how much to say. It's rather like telling a child the facts of life, they can only take a little bit at a time and only then when they are ready.
If your niece feels a little cut off from her friends she might enjoy the occasional treat or outing together. it will make her understand that she is a special person to you.
@Bluebell18 (636)
• United States
21 Nov 12
That's beautiful advice, 41. We do a lot of things together and it's a really good feeling that she looks up to me like she does. I will as well as my family that we keep a good eye on her and continue to be a good influence in her life. Thank you all for your words of wisdom.
@Hrozean (116)
• United States
20 Nov 12
I would tell her a little bit of your story. Not necessarily details if that makes you uncomfortable but emphasize that she should find a way to deal with it and that she is developing the way she is supposed to. She cant change the fact that she is smart and she developed before them. Consider what kind of teasing is going on if it gets to serious her parents should probably know either try and convince her to tell her parents or just them yourself. I was shut out of alot in school and it just never really got to me until I got a little bit older so it may be something that just goes away after she gets into high school. Like I said telling her that she cant stop these things from happening and if someone wants to bully her because of something she cant control don't let it get her down. I mean its fool proof she defends her self esteem which is the most important thing in any child.
@Bluebell18 (636)
• United States
21 Nov 12
Thank you, Hrozean. That means a lot. I will continue to help her and her parents as much as I can.
@UmiNoor (4523)
• Malaysia
21 Nov 12
You are who you are now because of the experiences that you went through in life. Are you happy with the way you turned out? Perhaps if your niece learns to defend herself the way you did, she would also grow up and turn out to be just like you.
Bullying happens everywhere even after high school like in the workplace. If your niece doesn't learn how to stand up to the bullies while she's in school, she might find it hard to stand up for herself when she goes out into the world.
But don't let her feel that she's alone in this. Support her and give her encouragement and tell her that she's not alone and that you will help her in whatever ways that she needs.
@vidhyaprakash_2 (7116)
• India
21 Nov 12
Hi friend, good to hear that your niece is following your activities, it shows the blood relationship. My younger son is also in my sort. Most of his activities are very much similar to my childhood activities and my elder one resembles her mother. Convey my regards to your niece and encourage all her good habits
@Mavic123456 (21893)
• Thailand
21 Nov 12
Bullying is an habitual act. Meaning once the bully won on one kid, the bully will look for another kid to pick on, and so, on. Bullies are a byproduct of dysfunctional family, like, shouting and fighting all the time. Bullies are also bullied from the home or from neighborhood so they bring the behavior in the different place. Like what I said, if they win over a kid, they will try to do it to another kid and so that makes them powerful, because on the other side of the road they are powerless and vulnerable.
Tell your niece to avoid the bullies as much as possible. Tell your niece to be brave enough to tell the bullies, to stop. and if she has a friend or friends be with her friends at all time.
http://www.kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/emotion/bullies.html#
