Friends can be your own bully
By olivetree27
@olivetree27 (495)
Greece
November 21, 2012 10:35am CST
I started hanging out with few people from my school and their quite okay. They are fun to be with and they are close to my age. But the problem is they are too obsessed with their appearance. It's okay if they are just obsess with their own physical appearance. But recently, they are starting to take notice everything about me. They are making rude comments and it's bugging me off. It's really annoying if you're comfortable with yourself and doesn't really care about your appearance and you have confidence in yourself then suddenly, people who you called friends starting to make comments about your body and other stuff, and it will make you feel that something is wrong with you. One girl will say, ''You're getting fat. You're hair is too plain, put style. You don't know how to dress yourself. You don't have boobs.'' Isn't that annoying? I thought all those stupid things stop in highschool. And she was making comments about my zits and saying that her face doesn't have pimples. Well, hers actually is always covered with make up and I don't put make up and she's encouraging me to put make-up too. Anyway, I really don't care about this as I am comfortable with myself. All i care about is that I'm having fun and I'm following my dreams. I'm just happy that I can express myself here in Mylot. And I also have a bestfriend who doesn't care about physical appearance and still hang outs with me even if I'm too old fashined, even though she's 5 years younger than me. Maturity has nothing to do with age anyway.
2 people like this
14 responses
@prashu228 (37521)
• India
21 Nov 12
Yes real friends are always by our side no matter what ever happens. Such people who bully us are not friends at all.
1 person likes this
@spicymary (558)
• Romania
21 Nov 12
It doesn't even matter if they do it with good or bad intentions, for fun or not. Friendship, before of helping each other, trust, commitment and all those things that come in time, is about sharing the same sense of humour, feeling good and understood. This is kind of big thing to not take some decision.
1 person likes this
@angelkarah050182 (4980)
• Philippines
21 Nov 12
Oh, I hate those kinds of friends. They should respect you if you want to remain simple. If they want to dress up, then let them dress up. They can wear anything they want and you can also wear anything you want. They should not force you to change your physical appearance and be like them. I guess it's better to hang out with your best friend. Don't forget that simplicity is beauty. Happy mylotting.
1 person likes this
@namusoke1 (83)
• Uganda
22 Nov 12
if you have a best friend then thats enough, just don't mind them time will come and they will back off, and besides we meet such people for a while and then part ways, just live your life that give you peace.
@Iliketohelp (50)
• Portugal
21 Nov 12
I had 2 best friend, we met when I was in the 1st grade, but after about 9 years our friendship fade away. We are still getting in touch by time to time, but like 1 or 2 times a year... :( And after I lost them, I've never been able to find other best friends, I just meet people, get to know things about them and we call each other friends but I never felt like they are truly reliable people... we just spend time together, having fun, then bye bye. I feel OK becouse I have my brother and he is my best friend... and you, if you have a best friend, the others are less important. If you are that annoyed of their behaviour forget about them, you can always find someone else to be your friend, and maybe your new best friend. Don't like it, change it ;)
1 person likes this
@aabuda (1722)
• Philippines
22 Nov 12
I have 4 best friends. I don't consider their comments as being bully already since I think that they are just protecting myself and every comments coming from them should be treated as a professional criticism.
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
21 Nov 12
Hello! No, it doesn't stop at high school! I see that every day, I have moved to the countryside and my friends here are like that too. I like to put make up on and take care of my looks since I was a teenager but I don't judge other people. But I see the girls make comments about other friends that don't care about making their hair every day. They even make comments about how it's time to go to hair salon because they need a haircut.
I don't pay attention but I guess it would bother me if they were saying that to me. You should just ignore the comments or make a discussion to tell them how you feel. They obviously think that since they wear make up you should do the same. Every person is different and if you feel comfortable with yourself discuss it with them, they should accept it.
@prashu228 (37521)
• India
21 Nov 12
ohh silly people how can they comment like that being your friends. Such people are not real friends. Those who respect you only because of your out ward appearance. Its better to be away from such people.
Just enjoy your life don't bother about such people. If you are comfortable with yourself then that's most enough. we should be happy about ourselves first.
@vidhyaprakash_2 (7116)
• India
22 Nov 12
Hi friend, sad to hear about this, don't give importance to this kind of comments, concentrate in your work and do it properly. Some persons will get fun by making comments on others, they don't know about their faults, if we started to worry this kind of comments, it is really endless. Better to avoid this kind of friends and keep friendship with good persons who give importance to you
@cgicale (137)
• Philippines
21 Nov 12
Hi olivetree,
Yes this really happens, some of those people you consider as friends can really be a bully at times. True friends are vocal and tells you the truth. But when what they say becomes painful and makes you loose your self confidence then that's something else. Sometimes these 'friends' envies you. Maybe you have something they want but they don't have. Just be yourself and you can tell them the truth that they are already hurting your feelings.
@Mavic123456 (21893)
• Thailand
22 Nov 12
I sense like, "Mean Girls" the movie. first questions are they really your friends? Yes if they are your friends what ever how you look then there will be no problem except of course if you turned out to be untidy and with foul smell already, that's different. nevertheless, still I cant tell that to my friend. anyway... Maybe you start reflecting on .. are you my friends? I dont see how friends can slum dunk each other because of the appearance. You should learn from them, at your own time and own phase. If you find yourself that among the friends your hair is the most untidy i am sure you will follow them of fixing your hair too so you can live it up with them. Just so different. Yeah! likes mean girls. LOL
@ndagilegbo (15)
• Nigeria
22 Nov 12
Do you have people in school or work who dislike you and hurt your own feelings? Here's how you can help stop it. Just be careful with bullies... This isn't exactly a step-by-step. However, do it in any order you like, and all of the steps are optional for you.
Ignore mean comments.
Beware of frenemies and backstabbers.
If you can't run away from a physical bully,defend yourself.
If you are socially bullied and have no friends,learn how to cope without friends and tell the Principal immediatley.
Develop a positive relationship with your principal.
Stay with a group of friends.
etc