Why is it wrong to be honest?

All I know is honesty is everything. It is not at all wrong to be honest! What matters is your own satisfaction.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being honest. But sometimes we need to take a halt in giving out the truth to avoid hurting another person.

I looked up some research regarding this and I found more often then not that it was better for the well being of the person and their health was better with honesty. But I have my mixed beliefs on this. One, there are so many people convicted of crimes that are coerced into giving into a guilty plea out of fear that they wont be found innocent. (I do know this to be fact in more than two cases that I personally have been involved in) I personally feel the toll of dis-honesty. If I am not being honest thats all that I can think about. But here I will share with you my findings...Enjoy. New “Science of Honesty” Study Links Truthfulness to Wellness ========= ORLANDO, Fla. August 4, 2012 (American Psychological Association) — Telling the truth when tempted to lie can significantly improve a person’s mental and physical health, according to a “Science of Honesty” study presented at the American Psychological Association’s 120th Annual Convention. “Recent evidence indicates that Americans average about 11 lies per week. We wanted to find out if living more honestly can actually cause better health,” said lead author Anita E. Kelly, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Notre Dame. “We found that the participants could purposefully and dramatically reduce their everyday lies, and that in turn was associated with significantly improved health.” Kelly and co-author Lijuan Wang, PhD, also of Notre Dame, conducted the honesty experiment over 10 weeks with a sample of 110 people, of whom 34 percent were adults in the community and 66 percent were college students. They ranged in age from 18 to 71 years, with an average age of 31. The just-completed study has not yet undergone peer review and has yet to be published. Approximately half the participants were instructed to stop telling major and minor lies for the 10 weeks. The other half served as a control group that received no special instructions about lying. Both groups came to the laboratory each week to complete health and relationship measures and to take a polygraph test assessing the number of major and white lies they had told that week. Over the course of 10 weeks, the link between less lying and improved health was significantly stronger for participants in the no-lie group, the study found. For example, when participants in the no-lie group told three fewer white lies than they did in other weeks, they experienced on average about four fewer mental-health complaints, such as feeling tense or melancholy, and about three fewer physical complaints, such as sore throats and headaches, the study found. In contrast, when control group members told three fewer white lies, they experienced two fewer mental-health complaints and about one less physical complaint. The pattern was similar for major lies, Kelly said. Compared to the control group, participants in the more truthful group told significantly fewer lies across the 10-week study, and by the fifth week, they saw themselves as more honest, Kelly said. When participants across both groups lied less in a given week, they reported their physical health and mental health to be significantly better that week.

Hi, There is nothing wrong with being honest. I also chose to be honest almost all of the time but just like you, I think not everybody likes it. What I like about being honest is that you don't have to feel guilty about hiding something, and that feels good. I find it hard to lie because when I am questioned more and more I can't keep up with it. When somebody ask me about him/herself, I ask them if they really want to hear the truth because if they do, I won't hold my tongue to say what I want to say. In that way they will be warned. Well with guys, sometimes girls have to be harsh for them to get the message. Anyway, I guess the easy way to tell them you don't like them is to say sofly but will it make any difference? I don't think so.

It is right to be honest and say no if you think its bad for you. What you did was right. You can't call a friend who can lead you to doing what is bad and can't stand beside you. Be careful in choosing friends. God Bless

No, to be honest is great thing. if we honest we can face any thing in our life. we can get good persons in our life . so to be honest

Hahah I have the same dilemma myself. I was quiet in my younger years and a people pleaser at that and rarely speak out my mind lest I hurt someone else's feelings. But I have learned the hard way that too much of that was not good, I led on some people and made them think it was comfortable with me to go along with them even when I wasn't feeling the activity or the company. You know what I realized now? I seem to be alienating some people who can't handle the truth. I guess that's good riddance, that I am making strides towards being more honest with myself.

You have noticed that too. The thing is it seemed to hurt me more because I really can't stand lying as I am talking about when I deemed it necessary. I just thought about all those times people that said just be honest and everything will work out for the best, not really. I have learned its better to lie to the police because they will use your honesty in a court of law. Then your when your own lawyer tells you, "you told them that!" It was nothing to serious but I was just baffled at how the system really works. Thus this is why I learned "everyone lies" like House says. I know I should of just enacted my right to silence but that just drives me mad when I feel I am in the right.

Well, you are just saying what is in your mind and heart . However, what is risky about doing so , is that the guy might get even with you and your friends. It's good that he stopped after that. But maybe next time, you have to be subtle in telling people your honest opinion, because people have different ways of taking truths which sometimes hurt a lot.

Hi, There is nothing wrong in to be honest. Honesty is very important in our life. Honest people always have mental peace and satisfaction. God is always with them who are honest.

Honesty is the best way. Even if you only have one good friend. Thats better than having 40 dishonest ones there. You are better off.

Well, honesty is indeed important in my opinion. However, we should take care not to hurt someone else's feelings too. So, maybe what your friends were asking you to do is to be polite. I know he probably was being persistent which made you irritated. But still, one should try and hold one's irritation and be polite. So, be honest but please don't hurt someone else's feelings.

yea you're right,honesty is important in our life.Sometimes,honesty means consider more about others instead of speaking directly,not just telling the truth.If your truth will make guys not happy,why not change a way to express it?In my opinion,we should learn more about how to deal with relationship.It would make our life better.

I have the same feeling with you. i am also a straitforward person. i like telling the truth. i did not mean to hurt anybody. but ... anyway, honest is vital in our life.

I have always found this to be amusing. People will claim that they respect and prefer honesty, but only stand by claim if your honest opinion is what they want to hear. Society has grown so accustomed to the majority of people lying rather than risk causing offence that many people are incapable of accepting the truth. We all manage to give others fair reason to criticise us at times and I can accept this without taking offence that was not intended. sadly, I seem be to a member of the minority in this.

I too have had innumerable such examples in my life, but somehow I can't change my natural instinct of being honest. My habit of being open and honestly telling what I feel led my gf to breakup with me!! I'm still recovering from that now :( I do think a lot before saying something that may not go well with the opposite person, but sometimes I've no other go but to be straight and plain. In your case in the bar, I don't see any mistake from your side. He was clearly irritating you and trying to flirt, maybe. He should have kept quiet when you denied once. What you did was right. It depends on individuals. Your friend is not your type and hence she felt bad. That doesn't mean you go about tolerating such irritating people, right?

You are right, honesty is always the best policy, but given that, it doesn't give anyone the right to be hurtful and condescending to anyone. Everyone deserves respect, and all situations should be handled in accordance to the seriousness of the situation. In the above situation as you described, you could have simply left it at "No thank, I am not interested in a drink." How can you make the statement, "I don't like you" when you haven't given the guy a chance? You can be polite and honest, without hurting or offending anyone. Sometimes, we have to look past the physical appearance and get to really know someone's character before making such a harsh statement.

As we have read in books honesty is the best policy.One can lead a tension free life & be clear to oneself no matter what the world think of him. I do agree with your thinking. Thanks for sharing your experience with us.

Social graces dictates to avoid being offensive; however, there are instances that we really need to be brutally honest. In your case, I believe that it was an exception to this rule. The guy was already badgering you so it was just right to tell him off.

I think I can relate to your situation. I have always been the type of person who will say whatever she thinks and whatever she feels. The only thing is, I'm probably not taking into consideration the impressions that my actions or words will leave to the person involved. Apparently, I can no longer take back whatever harm I have done. Right now, a special someone have made me realise this and is helping me to improve myself as a better person.