Time vs Money - we cant have them both?
By grace147
@grace147 (223)
Philippines
November 23, 2012 11:31pm CST
I came across an article in our local newspaper from an OFW wherein she shared that she has been working as a domestic helper in foreign land and work hard to death just to provide her children with a good future. She is now 50 yrs old and still working as OFW. 15 long straight years she sacrifice - just to earn, just for money and just to give a good life to her kids. She decided to finally go home by surprise knowing her eldest girl will graduate coming March 2013 - BS Nursing she expect. From afar, when she reached the main street of their home, the external appearance of their home when she left 15 yrs back is still the same as now. Her heart begins to pound so hard and all she could does is pray every step of her way to ease what she feared most - losing her children or a house but not a home anymore. She knocked and to the surprise of every one- mom outside their doorsteps and eldest daughter carrying a baby - one word uttered by the mom to her daugther - "Im sorry" with a tight embrace for she knows already by the appearance of the home and her daughter. She started searching for the children and I can not fathom the pain she felt the following revelations she heard for the first time - "Nay, si junjun ako gipa rehab para inig uli nimo maayu na siya" (mom, jujun is confine in the rehabilitation center so that when you go home he will be fine already), " ug si elmo nay tua naninda ug isda kay imo mga padala amo gitigum para sa rehab ni junjun" (and elmo is selling fish because the money you send for us i save it to pay for the rehabilitation of junjun). I cannot imagine her life story where all she can say is "wish i can turn back the time" or others will say " wish i can buy more time so I will love you more before i go". Does it follow that how big the money that we have in our pocket or bank it is also the quantity of the QUALITY of time lost with our life? can we have them both - balance time and money? it is likenanstrugglenbetween "need vs want", or between spending time with children vs workign away in order to have a godo life.
2 people like this
9 responses
@Lovegreen (376)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
If only the ones left behind are more responsible these unfortunate situations could be avoided. OFWs should see to it that when they go there should be someone who will take care of the children and of the money they send so everything won't go to waste.
1 person likes this
@grace147 (223)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
Thanks for the sharing Lovegreen, and your right every OFWs before they left they all entrusted their loveones to someone. Maybe as the time goes by things slowly losing its grip specially with the abundance of money. Temptations are always around the corner but they are just nothing if we have a strong family foundation.
@grace147 (223)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
Yes kingjay071, we have the same series of questions that hangs up my mind - how come it happens? no one ever look after them? and yes your right, there should have been a better life for them and just like any family who are on the same boat. But I gues its not important anymore to identify the why and how when all can not be undone anymore, what is important is move on, correct whatever mistakes and sealed the family with a tight hug of love and say a prayer all together as one voice determined to live a new life ahead.
@kingjay071 (96)
• United States
24 Nov 12
Well the question is, how old was the oldest child in the house first of all? Also, there should have been people as second in contact for emergencies for the family. There should have been some time of system where her family could have fell under for support. I am sorry for how her family turned out when she retunred home. There should have been a better way for her family to live while she was away for work.
@kokomo (1867)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
I can really relate to that story. I am a daughter of an OFW and my father is already ten years in Saudi Arabia.Before, when my father is still here, we have a lack of money and we are really a less fortunate family. But, i can say that despite that condition in our life, we are still happy, our family is complete. But then, when my father decided to went abroad, though our status in life were changed tremendously still it is very different to have a father in our side most especially that we are in the process of growing up. But we understand our father and he is really doing all his can to make us keep in touch with him. We love our father so much and we are acknowledging all his sacrifices just to give him our wants and needs in life.
1 person likes this
@grace147 (223)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
Hi kokomo, i am so happy that you have recognize the sacrifices that your father did. I know deep in his heart he doesnt want to live you behind nor grow up without him physically at your side. But Im most proud of you for you never stop to disappoint your father. You have grown to be a fine young lady just the way your father ever wanted and more so by your achivements and success and to see you in the right path of your life, it is tantamount that you have help your father lift up the cross of loneliness and longingness that his been carrying for years just for you and your family. And if I knew your father, I will tap his shoulder and tell him - sir, you have planted a lovely tree with a very sweet fruit. Pay it forward kokomo to you siblings the good deeds for you dont know the joy it bring to your parents.
thanks for the sharing and have a great day
@angelkarah050182 (4980)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
Oh, she sacrificed a lot for her family but I guess her sacrifices didn't have good results. She couldn't spend time with her children because of her job. I guess if the children were wise enough to handle themselves then they became successful now. She spent so many years away from then. If she could only turn back time. I hope all of them will be in good condition now that their mom is back. Goodluck to their family.
@ARIES1973 (11426)
• Legaspi, Philippines
24 Nov 12
Hi grace!
Thank you for sharing this story. I appreciate myself more now. Why? I decided before to work in other countries just to give my children the life that I want for them. My husband can't do anything about it because I was stubborn then. But then after a couple of months, I realized my mistake. I prayed to God for guidance that time. I don't know what happened because my employer made a decision to cancel the contract. Since it came from them, all my expenses was returned to me so I decided to come home.
After that I was able to get a good job in our own country. I promised to myself that I will never leave my family again. Good thing also that I was able to get a job in the government. Now, even my salary is not that big, I am happy that I can be able to take care of my family personally. For me what would be the use of having everything if we are going to lose our love ones. The time we spent with our children while they are growing up are considered as a treasure for them.
Have a nice day!
@kingjay071 (96)
• United States
24 Nov 12
I can, in away, feel how the lady feel. I am a soldier and being away from family is something I can not do. I thought it would be easy but I was wrong. Spending time at home is worth more than spending time away trying to make life better but it only feel worse when I am away from them. All I can say it that I can not wait until this is done so I can be at home with my family and give them all of my time and not let anything take me away from that ever again.
@grace147 (223)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
Hello Kingjay071, first of all thank you for taking time to share on this article and i can understand your line of work sir -being a soldier service and commitment to the country is above all. I have high respect on you for the great courage and sacrifice you gave. With all my prayers sir to bring you home soon safely with you family.
take care then.
@GilMegans (241)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
What a touching yet challenging story ma'am grace147. Time is Gold as the saying goes, and how does it mean - my personal assessment herein is when you spent most of your time on a fritter and non-sense matter it could be useless. But when you put forth your time on dealing things which generate revenue/income, your time is compensated with Gold. Relative however to the case of money, huge amount of money cannot buy ample time, happiness can be possible but it's momentarily. Referring to the story above, the root cause of the problem doesn't commence in the part of the mother. Not just because she spend her time and effort in almost two (2) decades in the foreign land to find money in order to suffice the needs of her family would mean she failed to establish her responsibility. Truly indeed that upbringing is very important in the family. However, how can we surely expect that a family that financially incapacitated could build up good result to it's members? Thus, i invite your direct attention to the father and siblings, if they are responsible enough to handle their family by means of respecting and considering the endeavor of their love one (mother/wife) whom tried to stand for the means of the family, occurrences mentioned will not arise. So therefore, I will never consider that time differs to money, and it will never be a factor to a happy and successful life of a family.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
That is really the hard realization of life. We only want what is best for our kids by offering a big sacrifice and yet we are given this blow in return. I am sure that if there was just a job that the mother would have here in our country, she shouldn't have left. But, there was no job for her that will enable her to let her send her kids school and have all the things that her children need.
That is also a similar situation that happened between my conversation with my sister in law. I am grateful for her because she wanted me and my family to have a better life. she has been helping me out in getting a job, but eventhough I wanted to try all those jobs she was telling me, I have nobody to take care for my son most especially that my husband is also at work even on a Saturday. She will say that she will ask her husband to look for a helper for me, but I do not think that a helper from the mountains would know how to go around the house works because of the appliances that the helper might be not so familiar with lest fetch my son from school. This is the sacrifice what I was referring. I could have had a job but I chose to be with my kids.
@olivz2012 (50)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
Difficult but a reality! I have also known a daughter working abroad for her family here in the Philippines. She devoted her time working to earn money so that she has something to send for the family she left in the country. Until few years, she decided to come home. To her surprise the house she left was even got dilapidated, not one her siblings finished their studies. You knew what happened to her? She's one of the retarded in town today. Maybe she cannot accept what had happened to all her sacrifices.
Actually, you already have both Time and Money. When you're working you're using your time, right? But spending a quality time with your loved ones while working abroad is impossible to do. Just the idea of going far tightened my stomach.
But I may advice to all mothers and fathers working abroad, use the technology as much as possible. We have internet: Skype and Facebook are good avenues where people can chat and talk one another while far from each other or through mobile phone, many of the telecommunication networks are availing unlimited text and calls why not grab them to connect with your loved ones. Doesn't it sound good to your?
@akhaniemar (122)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
I do believe balancing both time and money is really difficult. Even the emerging modern technologies nowadays cannot replace the guidance and care we can share with our love ones. However, in the end, if we just regret everything we've done and wish to turn back time, I guess we'll just be feeling more guilty inside. Though moment like this made us very sad, we have also to weigh in the fact that what if our children demand or ask for something we can't provide? Then, we'll just go back doing the same thing... right? Reality bites... since not all of us can provide everything without working for it, then, we have to sacrifice something... even TIME...:( We can't serve two masters... we always have a choice... but, whatever we choose, it's the product of what we are willing to give up....:(
