We Just Can't Accept Her And The Baby

Ok this discussion really kind of bothered me and I'm not judging you. You are entitled to your feelings regardless of whether or not anyone agrees. I thought about it on my way to work last night. I actually was in a similar situation about 33 yrs ago. My brother was married to and had a child with a horrible woman. She cheated on him, tried to get with my husband and did get with my friends husband. There was much speculation as to whether my nephew was even my brother's child. He does not look at all like my brother. In fact, resembles her family and another guy who was around a lot at the time. She and my brother split up and we all opted to embrace this child and maybe offset the negative life his mom was bound to expose him too and she did. She was evil. Lord knows, the world does not need another dysfunctional human added to societies problems if we can possibly prevent it. \ Well this kid is now 33 and an amazing person!! He is kind and smart, responsible. He is married with 2 kids of his own and I love him so much. His kids are adorable and add so much to our live,

sure he can do whatever he wants, but he keeps trying to force her and the baby on us. that ain't cool. he got her pregnant. we didn't.

exactly. he forgot all the messed up stuff she did when she first crawled out from under skid row. just cause she feels she is a mother now and everything, doesn't mean she can force us to erase all the deeep deeeep deeep messed up stuff she did. we don't want to forgive and forget. people says it's healing to you to do so, but only if it's hurting you for real. hating her doesn't feel bad. we are comfortable with it. lol. she is the one that isn't . nor is he. they both have to get over keep her away from us, child or not. we are not responsible for her child. we don't want to be forced into it.

Well, in that case that is all your brother-in-law fault. He can never forced you guys to accept it too.

i have no problem with the fact he made his bed, he is the one that has to lie in it. as long as he is not trying to force her on us. we don't want to be bothered with her. being bothered with someone you don't like is very very very stressful. why should we bow down to that stress in our house?

i don't think it would change the feeling we had for the kid. it was still a tool used to force and keep that girl in his and our lives, too. it's hard to separate the two. thanks for understanding. it's good that someone understands.

everyone says that it didn't ask to be put into this situation. yadee yadee yada. we know already. i respect your opinion, but we didn't ask to be put in this situation either...to deal with people we don't want to deal with. all this because she used her body to force and stick her way into people's lives that don't want her. why can't my brother in law just keep his wacky family situation to himself. why does he have to try to bring it and her to our house. my husband doesn't care about being around the baby. neither do i. it isn't ours. we have our own children. they have other nieces and nephews on both sides. none of them live around each other to make a difference anyway. if the kid (by 1% chance) turns out to be his, he won't grow up around us, and if he never sees us, it won't matter. his psychology and his self esteem is left up to his parents to build up, not ours. we have our own kids for that. they only way someone could break a child's spirit is to be around them. we wouldn't want to break a child's spirit in anyway, so we don't want to be around him. i don't think there is anything wrong with that. the best thing we could do for that kid is to stay out of our lives. advice to his mother......stay out of our face and stop trying to shove your kid in it all the time. we hate you. that's it.

thank you so much for understanding. everyone else says that we should just give in to what she wanted and love and embrace her and her dumb self. no! we don't want to. i'm glad you are not convincing us to. my dumb brother in law wouldn't get a test. he would be mad if someone even suggested it, like if to say she was just some saint. far from it.

i know about DNA test. i wish someone would tell him that. swears that it is his kid! he wouldn't get a DNA test if she told him it wasn't it his kid. that's how blind he is.

so, i guess that it. she got what she wanted, huh. we are stuck with her and that kid no matter how we feel about it. you don't understand how forced we feel. no one likes to be forced. no matter if it's a baby or not.