Small Talk

My ability to small talk depends very much on the circumstances. Anything to do with work is no problem as are 'hobby' subjects. But put me into a general melee and I struggle to think what to say and can't wait to leave. I meet a lot of people when I guide and that causes me no trouble at all. But then usually I am the centre of attention and that is a place that I am comfortable with. I'm a big head too! LOL.

Me, well, I am not one for conversation, especially small talk. I also find it useless. I am thinking that it could also be a gender thing. It does seem to me that women are more friendly over all, while men are more stand offish.

I really admire those that can small talk especially with strangers, me I have absolutely no confidence whatsoever, plus for me it's the fear of rejection, many a time for example I have crossed my comfort zone and tried small talk at the gym only to be rebuffed every time, so now I go around with my earphones on and my music turned up high. I do people watch from a distance, but I find it better, and safer to keep myself to myself.

I'm much better these days. When I was younger I thought Every word I said Had to be perfect. I would rehearse Every word I was about to say. So for the most part, I said nothing. I was painfully shy. But Once I learned that Everyone makes mistakes And it was ok, I talked more.I'm lucky, I love Football so I can go up to a guy and talk sports. With women? I usually let them start the conversation.

I agree, previously i was like that. Never used to talk to anyone even if anyone talks to me just one line answer ,so obviously the other person used to think i am not interested in talking or making conversation with them. so they used to stop it there. But now after i started searching for a job then i realized how important it is to talk to people . so now i myself go to people and start the small talk . Its very useful indeed. which i found lately. we get the information we require from even the unknown people around us. so its profitable overall..I am following it.

I fully agree with you,Moo.You really have an insight.Small talks with aquaintances and even strangers give us a chance to look into the minds of people.They make us sensitive to others and help us win friends.They help us improve our socializing skills as well.Although looking nonsense at the first glance,they are extremely useful.One or two of my friends,very helpful friends were strangers.Small talks with them made them my friends.

I certainly feel the same way and have always been quite comfortable talking to anyone, whether it be a Nuclear Scientist or a labourer. I have previously spent many years working in contact with the public, with jobs varying from working in bars to selling vacuum cleaners door to door. The problem that many people experience is the eagerness to discuss something that interests himself or herself or a subject that they have a good knowledge of, instead of being capable of discussing all topics to a respectable degree.

yes and it isn't always easy to learn If I want to small talk, I'll start the talk about things like the cats/weather/etc. I prefer if someone else starts it.

I suppose the "art" of small talk can be learned, but if you're not that social, why bother? I can do it, but most of the time I find it to be a chore and a bore.

My dad was the same as your mum...he talked to everyone and also worked in a store in sales and did such a good job! I love talking and making small talk. I do think it might be learned as I was shy as a kid but as the years went by I became more talkative....

Like Prashu, I used to be like your partner. I was also very introverted. I learned to make small talk and enjoyed it because I basically like people, I was just shy. It's fascinating what you can find out in just a couple minutes of small talk and it makes people feel that others are interested in them, brightens their day a lot of the time. One thing that bothers me about small talk is when someone opens the conversation with "how are you doing?" (or here in the US "howya doin'?") and then launch right into something without letting the person reply. If they don't care to know they should not ask. But it's become a catch-word, kind of like "have a nice day".

I'm good at small talk. My husband is too.. it's serious conversation he has a problem with. When we fight, he doesn't want to talk about it. Once he's done with the fight he wants me to be done with it too.. not have hurt feelings over it and not want to talk about the issues at the root of it. Needless to say in our nearly 12 years of being together, we haven't solved many problems.

Being the overly shy person that I am, and going to university for a degree with mostly numbers, I too struggled with the concept of small talk when I got out of school and went to work in the real world. But as I've been put in a position where I handle people, I've had to learn the art of small talk. It's a struggle within me most of the time.

Yes.. it is a skill. The great sales people have this skill. They can even sell White House in a split second. LOL. I find it hard to start conversing too. If in crowd I don't speak specially if I have someone who speaks. But then if I am with someone who is timid in asking question or asking or making a short small talk I am the one who do the talking. well if he can do it someone must do it.

Yes, I think it's a skill. I do well with it with strangers in passing, as in a check out clerk or when waiting in line. I'm not good at sustaining it over a period of time, though. I should work on that.

hi greenmoo. i do believe that small talk is a skill and not everyone has the skill to conduct a meaningful conversation with complete strangers. it can be taught though but not everyone would have the same degree of success. i consider myself to be good at having small talk with strangers... while waiting on line at the supermarket or at a bank... while commuting... even at restaurants when sharing a table with strangers... and my specialty... at bars!!!! anyway, i do think that the art of small talk can be taught but not everyone will excel!!! cheers and happy mylotting!!!

68 years old, and I still have to say, I don't have any small talk, only big talk (lol). I do understand the point, and if forced to can manage, but I can't help moving conversations into the "big" issues. Mea Culpa. Lash

Conversation playing an important role in our life. We need communication to express our needs, thoughts and opinions to other and conversation is important in communication. Lot of relationship are spoiled due to lack in conversation. An open conversation have the ability to solve most of the life issues. We must avoid unwanted EGO and have a frank conversation to our beloved person to solve a lot of unwanted misunderstanding in our life. Small talk have the ability to solve a lot of problems in our life. Some persons are good in speaking and they have the ability to impress others with their speech and solve various issues using their speech. Some persons are reserved and don't talk with others, even they don't talk for their needs and necessities. This kind of persons don't achieve anything with their shyness, they must come out from their shyness and have good conversation with others to achieve a lot. We all have the ability to speak, each and every one is having our own ideas and opinion. There is no need to learn for talking with others, it is a normal day to day activity. We must be bold enough and express our needs and necessities with others. There is nothing wrong in having conversation with our friends, beloved persons. This kind of conversation will help us to get our needs and fulfill our necessities. Don't refuse to talk with others and have a good conversation with others. Improve your communication skills. It will be useful in various sort. Even companies are looking for the person who is having good communication skills and have the ability to express their views and opinions without fear. Speech is really a great gift from god. If we use it in a good way we will achieve a lot of things in our life using our speech.

I'm sure it can be learned if one really wants to do it. I am in the same category as you, I enjoy small talk, I would go as far as saying that I have learned a lot from it. A lot about people and a lot of general knowledge. I am interested in people and most of us only have small talk to offer, but this is our lives we are offering to share. If people are interested in others they do not need to learn the skill, the skill is in caring. My partner is intellectual and he sees no importance in small talk. As a result I am the one who gets the letters, the phone calls and the emails. Small talk can be written as well! In my opinion small talk is a social necessity, it helps shy people to come out of their shells, it doesn't lead to quarrels or arguments and it makes lonely people feel that someone is interested in them.