have you ever reached a point when you feel like you're finished with this life?
By ciarasouid
@ciarasouid (80)
December 14, 2012 5:57pm CST
I have for the past tow years I've reached it so many times, because education is very important in my country no a fence but my people are very racist when it comes to education cause they think if you don't go to college and graduate from your not considered a respectful person, so anyway for the past tow years I've been trying to get my baccalaureate degree but since I have too many problems I didn't get and it's all because of my mother she's always judgmental and takes every chance giving to her to pick a fight with me ,these tow years I will never forget them in my life cause they made me who I'm today which is much confident and stronger person cause I when through a lot as my mum kicked me out of the house and lived with my friend's mother for 2 months and when I went back home it hasn't changed so I decided to get my own life and start working and supplying myself without needing the help of anyone.
At that time the reached the point where I didn't want to live anymore trust me it was crazy but now I'm very proud of my self and what I've accomplished and there is more still to come.
3 people like this
11 responses
@Kashmeresmycat (6369)
• United States
15 Dec 12
Don't ever feel that way!!! That is NOT the solution to any of life's problems. Do you think you're the only one with that problem?..no! Just try to figure out what you want to do and keep going. Don't pay no attention to your mother or anyone else that is offending you. You are the only one that can change your life and that's only if you want to.
If you need to move, then move out of there. It's completely stupid to think if you do not go to college, that you are not respectful..how ridiculous.
You should be proud of yourself and that's the respect you need in your life...you don't need anyone else. As long as you feel good about yourself that is the most important aspect and that's what you keep following. It will all work out in the end, but it certainly won't work out if you're not here.
1 person likes this
@ciarasouid (80)
•
16 Dec 12
Well thank you for commenting,I do like to move from the house but in our religion girls are not suppose to leave there homes till they get married, I don't really think about what people say but I do care about my family and what there thinking cause at the end of the day there my family you know..
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
15 Dec 12
[b] Hello my friend ciarasouid Ji,
Well, I never had slightest feeling ever, but my hubby had reached to teh point of such state, yet he had a determination that COMITING SUCIDE IS MOST BARBARIC/COWARD AND UNSOCIAL act on part of any human beings. Life is full of UPS AND DOWNS and one should face the challanges in the life. So he is now my hubby since 43 yrs now and we feel the same way.
May God bless You and have a great time 
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
6 Jan 13
Hello my friend ciarasouid Ji,
Well, that is how Gold shines after being heated up. That is very much testing time for us. I bring out something from myu hubby's dairy as a inspiral to you and may strengthen you to fight against all Odds as below :-
[b]SATSANG
(a) ”If you can balance /stable your mind, when people around you are in un-balanced , and at the same time blaming you”. (NO-reaction)
(b) “If you have belief on yourself, when others have doubt and at the same time, you strongly oppose their belief of their doubt”
(c) “If you can wait for Good/Bright days without loosing patience/getting disheartened of waiting”.
(d) “Everyone around you is deceiving you , whereas you are not in any way.”
(e) “ Every body hates you and you do not, at the same time, you ARE not proud to be ‘good’ and ‘wise’.
(f) “ If you Can dream, but do not allow them to overpower you, and you Can ‘think’ but at the same time, do not plunge into dreams of ‘thinking”.
(g) “If you can welcome ‘gains’ and ‘defeat’ OR ‘profit’ & ‘loss’ with open hearts and they do not unbalance your mind”.
(h) “If you can accept your own words in twisted/mutilated /distorted form, happily by ‘fools’ and they do not involve you in their bad plans”.
(i)“ If you Can bear/tolerate the ‘gains’ accomplished by you ‘raise
to ashes’ , for which you took whole life to build, and at the same time you can once again order your tired hands to restart making”.
(J) “ If you can take one chance to reduce your gains in your life, ‘loose’ or ‘gain’ (like a great gambler)
(k)“If you can, after loosing every bit in your life, get ready fresh to obtain the same with total energy from all corners of your body and mind, without uttering a single word even”.
(l)“ If you Can compel your heart, mind and limbs, when they are so tired and refuse to accept any thing, except that your ‘belief’ and ‘desire’ to order them that they have to march forward and not falling back”.
(m) “ If you can roam in crowds, but do not allow your ‘thoughts’ and ’abilities’ to wander stray, and you live with emperor, but do not neglect common man “.
(n) “ If you are unharmed by people loving you and people hating you”.
(o)“ If you Can respect everybody within the limits, but at the same time nobody”.
(p)“ IF YOU CAN REMEMBER THE UN-EXCUSED MOMENT/SECOND (time) OF YOUR LIFE, AND EXPLAIN THE REASON FOR THE SAME”.
Then, the whole world belongs to you only and every thing that exists on this, at the same time you fall under the category of ‘ACTUAL HUMAN BEING ’, which is greatest achievement in the life than any thing else”.[/b]
May God bless You and have a great time
@ciarasouid (80)
•
16 Dec 12
Hello, thank you for sharing, I agree with every word but when you reach a huge point of anger and range and don't find any support you just find people who are judgmental trust me you will think of it and specially if you get bitten over and over again, I'm happy for you and you husband and wish you all the happiness in the world
1 person likes this
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
16 Dec 12
I only had this kind of feeling when my ex-girlfriend parted with me. It was heartbreaking and made my life and work meaningless. Thanks to my wife, who walked into my life a couple of years later, she changed my life totally.
I am glad for you to have made it through your college life and now you are able to support your own life with your ability and knowledge gained at college. Good luck and bless you.
@ciarasouid (80)
•
16 Dec 12
Hello williamjisir thank you for sharing you're experience with me,I'm glad that you we're able to overcome your problem and find you're soul mate, god bless you too
@ciarasouid (80)
•
16 Dec 12
Thank you for commenting,I know that there is more still to come but what I've been through for the past two years it's was huge and it was a shock for me cause I used to be this innocent girl with rainbows around her and suddenly it changed to clouds and storms
@verolop29 (1096)
• United States
15 Dec 12
It could be worse. What u have gone thru life has a plan for you that u may not fully understand.
I remember growing up that my life was bad. And it was. I would go home very hungry and frightened. My father would sexually abuse me and my mom would stand there with a smirk on her face. It was like that every day. I would run away but then they would find me and I would get beaten. That's a distant memory now but back then I wanted my life to end. I prayed to god to let it go by fast and take my pain away. And he did!
I think ur doing good for yourself. Don't let anyone tell u u can't graduate or do good bcuz u can!
@ciarasouid (80)
•
16 Dec 12
Thank you for sharing your experience with me I really appreciate it,and you're right I'm not letting anyone decide what's best for me, bless you
@mhaiXCs10s (619)
• Philippines
15 Dec 12
You should really be proud of to your accomplishment... It is so nice that you shared this kind of experience you have made. Life is not at all like we want it to be because sometimes, life is very complicated... What happened to you makes the kind of person you are now. You became more stronger and tougher. And I am so glad to know the positive outlook of you thru sharing this story. May God bless you always...
@ciarasouid (80)
•
16 Dec 12
Thank you,I really appreciate what you've said and I agree with it, it's true it did made me stronger and more confident, bless you too
@ciarasouid (80)
•
16 Dec 12
i apreciate your comment,you're right only loosers give up but sometimes when you find you're self helpless you surrander for a second and than you get your self together and you're back!!
@toyota4k (1208)
• Philippines
15 Dec 12
Test and trials cannot be avoided in one's life. Man is bound to suffer at all cost and must cross barriers which he must overcome. So man has to be strong, determined to go on with life.
@ciarasouid (80)
•
16 Dec 12
i agree and thank you for replying,life has it's tests but we can't deny that it sometime strugle you till till you can't take it anymore that's when you break but still you have to get right back at it
@airkulet (2700)
• Philippines
15 Dec 12
Here in our country as long as you are a good person and you know how to make money or earn for your family doesn't matter if you finish college or not people will respect you.
Just have faith all of the problems will soon be finish don't get it in your head that people will disrespect you if you haven't finish school or not.
@ciarasouid (80)
•
16 Dec 12
Thank you for commenting,I really wish that my country was the same, anyway,I'm going to try to finish school and if not I don't really care anymore, I would live my life like I want to
@ciarasouid (80)
•
16 Dec 12
well, thank you for commenting, i don't know why people entend to dicrimenate between pepole althought there there the same in this case the only deffrence is money
@fearlessgara (1113)
• Philippines
15 Dec 12
you know we have similar story my mother too is judgmental. and the time that i think of being tired of my life, that is where the time i think of God.. and so i survive.. Now my strength comes from God.I am not proud of myself when it comes to being stable as I am not as lucky as yours right now.But I am happy to turn back my faith unto Him and for 33 years now I feel His wisdom.Now i feel that blessings is start to come in my life. and I know by working hard and by Faith on Him. all my dreams will come true.I also prayed for my mother that God make Her realize that I am not what she think I am..
@ciarasouid (80)
•
16 Dec 12
First, thank you for sharing your story with me ,everytime I find myself in that position I try to find my enter strength and get back up,but it's not just my mum it's the fact I don't find the support that I was looking for I just find people judging me and that it,I always ask god for support and that's why I'm still standing today
