Do People really listen?
By nerein
@nerein (283)
United States
December 23, 2012 10:17am CST
I have a not of people who come to me with there problems. Now don't get me wrong I do not mind listening too peoples problems.
Though there are a couple of things that do get too me. One of the things that do get too me is when people explain there problems too me, and I give then logical advice as too go about solving there problems, and they do the opposite of what I tell them. Then they come back too me with the same problem because they did not follow the logical advice that I gave them.
Another thing that bothers me is when people think that there problems are going to be solved instantly all the time. Now there are some problems that can be solved instantly. Though at the same time there are many problems that can not be solved instantly, even if one does have the solution too them. Another thing too, there is a difference between asking for a solution too a problem and just venting. Now granted everyone needs to vent though when the same constantly vent about the same things all the time that is a problem. Another problem is, is when you need time to deal my own Issues.
1 person likes this
14 responses
@natliegleb (5175)
• India
9 Mar 13
they are dependent and also depends on the kind of topic which we normally discuss and if you ask me vehemently,people love to share and also listen only at times
@akhaniemar (122)
• Philippines
29 Dec 12
Yeah, I understand. Sometimes, people wanted you to listen to them, but when it's your turn to talk it seems like they don't listen or they don't listen at all. Well, we can't blame them, sometimes I, too, am guilty with this. It's just that, as much as we want to, we tend to ask for advice but in the end, we still follow what we want to do, and regret it later. Some people have this coping mechanism too, of venting their anger over and over again without thinking of who's their listening, which they already sound irritating by repeating it over and over again.
@chiyosan (30183)
• Philippines
26 Dec 12
Haha, now this brings me a memory of the own discussion i created here in mylot. the thing is, what you are saying, aha.. that is really true. some people kept on sharing, some people did try to make us lose a lot of time to be with them and make them feel we have all ears on them and we share their hearts and thoughts... the thing is there are just people like your friend, my friend and other people who just don't listen, you repeatedly tell them what they should do, you say the same things his or her other friends tell her/him but they still are so hard headed and insists on their own self. =P Ha... i won't be surprised when one day i will see you post another topic and you lose patience with this kind of person who just wastes your time. hehe
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
25 Dec 12
Some people don't want a logical solution to their problems; they just want to vent.
@savypat (20216)
• United States
26 Dec 12
I use to try to help with other's problems often involving myself in their emotional lives. Now instead I tend to feed back. By that I mean I ask them what they feel they should do? This will usually stop my involvement and may even result in their listening to themselves instead of just venting. You might try this next time, see if it helps you.
@ZoeJoy (1392)
• United States
27 Dec 12
A lot of people just want to vent. I also offer my advise and if people don't take it, then my view point is that I did what I felt best for that person. Now, it is up to the other person and if they don't do the right thing, that is their responsibility. I can't control other people. I can only control me!
Also, I don't really let people vent to me. I just let them to have a wonderful day and wish them the best. :)
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
23 Dec 12
Same here. My old friend now is working and she keeps complaining and venting to me everyday about her life problems. I told her the solutions and she keep on asking again and again how to do it? I mean, did she listen to what I say in the first place? I have stop picking up her calls and seeing her, it makes me so fed up to entertain with this people anymore.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
23 Dec 12
First of all: if people tell you your problems it's not said they are asking for your advice as well. Many people just need that listening ear. Others already know what they should do but are not able to do it at once. Secondly: what souds logical to you, might work for you, doesn't need to be logical or work with someone else. We all are different we all need to find our own road. Also.. listening is not the same as hearing. Hearing is not the same as practising. It takes time to change before that there is also needed a lot of time to think things (including advices) over. To gather courage, to take that big step. To some it's easy to others it feels like life threatening. Most problems will solve themselves if you take some distance. This is a fact. If you can solve it instantly it's not a problem at all. If you need time to deal with your own issues go for that first since it's useless to help out others if you are not able to help yourself first.
@Arieles (2473)
• United States
23 Dec 12
I have this one friend who is always asking my opinion. I give it to her as honestly as I can at the time. She will then turn around and give me an explanation as to why she is doing the opposite of what I suggested. Well, if you knew what you were going to do in the first place, why did you even bother asking me my opinion.
Yeah, people need to vent. It helps to release anger and stored up emotions. Some people don't like to listen to the vent, or they come up with a bigger sob story of their own.
We have one mouth and two ears, so that means we should listen more than we talk.
@beenice2 (2967)
• Sackville, New Brunswick
23 Dec 12
Yes I understand that there is a lot of people like that, and by experience some think that they know better and will not listen to your ideas by knowledge that it might not work what they are trying to do but don't want any advise and when something went wrong tell everybody else about there stupidity they have done thinking that someone will cure it,and yet after others have said it was a stupid idea let them know that they have a bit of a problem so, that mean that there is no point trying to help those that will always think that no matter what you say I'll do what I want, well why asking then. I do understand your point of view.
@habibti320 (925)
• United States
23 Dec 12
I think that most of the time, people don't want advice. They just want to talk about their problem for:
1. Moral support
2. Thinking out loud
3. Strengthening the friendship
I don't usually expect people to take my advice, and I don't always give it to my friends in a direct way. I just talk about things that have happened, possible reasons why this is happening, what other people do, etc. Sometimes this helps people get to the solution and feel ownership of it. Of course, sometimes, people need a friend to tell them that they are sorry these bad things have happened and that it was unjust.
@perfectfeeling (17)
• China
24 Dec 12
For me, I will say 'If I was you, I would deal with it this way...', but I dont care wheather he/she going to follow this way or not. Because I dont want to change anybody. The things they had done might be wrong in your opinion, but he/she did not think so.
@rldchampions001 (156)
• Pakistan
23 Dec 12
I have a similar case too. My best friend never listens to my advice. He always comes to me with a list of his problems and when i suggest him logical answers, at the moment he agrees to listen to my suggestions but then he always opposes me later which irritates me the most. Yes you are right, people might take your advice but will always do what there mind and heart says. If they do not pay attention of the suggestions they get then what's the point in wasting others time.
@myscreen_name (64)
• United States
23 Dec 12
Yes,I HATE that.I have a friend who does that.She comes to me and says 'my boyfriend cheated on me what should i do'.I give her the obvious answer..she calls back a week later and says 'well i took him back but he is still cheating' again i give her the obvious answer.days later she will call 'I believe he stole from me' It is just sooo annoying.Don't ask for my advice if you're just going to do the complete opposite anyway.I have gotten to the pont where I don't answer my phone,I wait until she texts and tells me what she wants.If it's about the guy I don't call back.Another thing that annoys me is when people are asking you for advice and basically argue you down about everything you say.'Leave,he is a loser and doesn't deserve you'.'He does love me!he just made a mistake'.Grrr...I feel like I'm venting now lol.
