Starting off the New Year with one less friend.

I know you've been friends with T for a LONG time. However, you have been having problems with his friend for a long time as well. I suspect that T's friend has been encouraging him to not respond on top of T being angry. I suggest that you back off now, not that calling and leaving him the message was wrong - that was the totally right thing to do - but now give him space. I realize that its hard when you've got a friend like him, but wait at least a month to see if he calls. I would buy or make him a Valentine card, since we have this very handy day in February and post it in early Feb. After a few days, call, and if he doesn't answer, just leave a simple little message not referring to the problem, just something like "I'm doing such and such and how are you doing?" You've tried to apologize, now the best thing is to let it rest and then act like it didn't happen. At least, that's what works for me.

Im sorry to hear you are missing your friend. I know from past discussions how much you value your friendship with T. If he values the friendship as much as you do then he will be forgiving and this will pass. I think that his feelings were probably deeply hurt and maybe he did not understand your grumpiness. Reach out and talk to him candidly like you did to us. We all have our grumpy moments and most of us are not above saying things that we really don;t mean. It was the holidays, your cat is sick and being menopausal alone is enough to make one act out of character. Just tell him how sorry you are and ask for his forgiveness. Im pretty sure you will get it.

SO glad hugsssssssssss Happy New YEar!

If he talks to you he talks to you otherwise I wouldn't worry about it... seems trivial. I've got family getting on my nerves every time they call. I swear it's usually to complain about something and if not that I feel like I'm being stalked... when do you work? what did you have for dinner? same questions over and over.... same complaints over and over. I don't mind being someone they can vent to but sometimes I don't have the patience for their bs and need a break to deal with MY life.

Blessed New Year to you, winterose. I believe you will make more friends this year. If this gentleman is a true friend, give him some time and he will come back to you. Once in a while give him a courtesy call just to let him know that you still care for him...perhaps on his birthday. Don't worry so much, we are not here to pleased everyone.

hi there, its sad to know that your friend is not talking to you,Well nothing to worry about.Every relation needs some space,and i would suggest you to give your friend some time,let him realize your importance in his life and eventually he would call you,and he would apologize for his behavior. AS i read this ,I guess you are a every emotional person and for you its difficult to handle when someone ignore's you.You think about it a lot and get depressed.Dear friend the more you think ,the more you are making things worse for yourself,It might later affect your health too.so always choose a small but pretty option to convince your friend to talk to you like, Send him a small gift which he likes and a greeting card,trust me,after getting this he would definitely call you,and everything would be fine. take care Raj India

Well, sometimes I know we end up saying things we often end up regretting later and have to find a way to apologize to them. With me being Diabetic and going thru the change, I have been known to do this a time or two as well. And when there is some additional added stress of things you are worried about, that does not help either. Maybe the best thing is to let things slide for now, and if this is someone you are really wanting to be around find a way to make up, and make things better again. And if it never does maybe it was never meant to be.

Sounds like T might be menopausal, too... What's wrong with your cat?

We all get cranky at times but if we really love someone we forgive them for being cranky towards us. It seems that he is being a little overboard about this not talking to you for so long. I think it is very nice of you to tell him you love him even when he wont speak to you. I think now just let it go and wait and see if he comes around. Its hard to wait around but I think he will once he gets over it.

Hi winterose, I can understand you being cranky because of what you are going through but I can understand hanging up on a friend...our friends can sometimes say things we don't like or agree with but I just don't think they expect us to hang up on them...maybe I just don't understand because I did not suffer in such way with my meno- pausal moments.. I hope by this time you and your friend has reconciled your relationship/ friendship....

Your friend will eventually forget what happened and would forgive you. You should practice being patient this time. Have a nice day!

It sounds as though you are making excuses for your behaviour, i.e. you are menopausal, you have been cranky, you have not been yourself, you are worried about your sick cat. Don't beat yourself up over it. You are right, you made the attempt to reconcile, now the rest is up to him. The ball is in his court so to speak. You just have to wait and see.

Sorry about that. It's good that you know what's wrong. I think he will forgive you sooner or later, it just needs time. Your message "Even though you are not talking to me I still love you" is really great, I believe he has forgiven you in his heart, just give him some time.

Sorry, I don't totally agree with you. Woman to woman, I don't think we can make - whatever we are going through - excuses in being cranky towards others. I think he realized that he could only take so much from you. If you love someone, then you have to show love - in a way that the other person can handle and deal with. In other words, he couldn't handle your crankiness. I would apologize that you were cranky to him and then, promise him that you will never be cranky to him again. If you are worried about your cat, talk to your cat's vet. At least get some professional advise and help as to how to help your cat. Or get some support from other cat owners. I think it is important not to dump or vent on other people - especially those who can't handle it. It's good to find a strong friend, someone who can handle your issues and guide you through them, offering counseling that you are going to listen to. But we need to be careful not to be cranky to people who don't deserve it.

You need to find other things on which to focus. Eventually, he will cool down a bit, and he will then be ready to speak with you again.

That's sad. Maybe if you just wait it out he will come around. We all get moody sometimes, and if he is a good enough friend, he will love you despite your bickering. Me and my lifelong friends, who I have known almost all of my life, bicker all the time. Maybe it's a sign that we care for each other, I'm not sure. Anyway, I wouldn't write off the friendship just yet. It's too soon for that! Apologize again, and just wait it out and I'm sure he will come around.

Sorry about the misunderstanding. I am a bit sad and skip a lot of my friend's invitation due to other important things that needs to be prioritized. But I wish to make up with my friends soon. Hope your friend will response to you soon

I hope you are feeling a lot better now. I know that it is such a heavy feeling if we know that a friend is not "there". But I hope that he calls you up soon. Then maybe you could celebrate.

Yeah, I think you just have to let him miss you. When he gets over his hurt feelings, he will most likely talk to you. If not, then just cut your losses and deal with it. You can't make everyone like you. I've had to say goodbye to people and they aren't in my life anymore.