So Many Lies to So Many People
By STOUTjodee
@STOUTjodee (3573)
United States
January 9, 2013 5:45pm CST
This has been weighing heavy on my mind for quite some time and I don't know where to turn to for advice so I thought of my MyLot family. I have a sister-in-law that we sold our trailer house to. She paid it off, but we left the lights on in my name in "good faith" that she would pay. She said she couldn't get her lights switched over into her name, because she has no I.D. We live by her and since she has no vehicle we give her rides to go places, if she gives us some money to take her wherever she needs to go. Now she's the same sister-in-law that has a friend that gave her a place with 3 acres on it. (I posted a discussion here about it.) We all went down to check on it, but it does need some serious work down to it to make it liveable and in the trailer and house that are there there is no electric box. So my husband said if she would pay him for gas and for his time, he would move the trailer house that she bought from us ,so she would have a place to live, with an electric box, so she could fix up on the trailer house and house that is there. She wants her brother (my husband) and I to move there with her. She's also the sister-in-law that I wrote about being in a relationship but seeing other men. Anyway, she's saying she wants us to move and do things for her,but I think she's leading us on only to have us do things for her to keep on our good side so when her "men" friends don't want to help her,we will still be there because we're "family." But is it right that even though we're family to be used ? My husband and I think that she is just going to go with her "friends" and not pay the light bill.
4 people like this
14 responses
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
10 Jan 13
It could go either way, is it far away from where you currently live? Maybe she wants you there so she caan free load off you. It's hard to say, I know an older coworker kept asking me to move in with her, and me buy a trailer she rent from me. I knew she would free load off me so I kept telling her no.
@STOUTjodee (3573)
• United States
10 Jan 13
We live next to her in a trailer court. I feel that she's free loading off of us anyway,because she receives SSI and has never worked a day in her life. She's into partying and stuff and doesn't have her priorities in order. She has men in the side that she can pull the "poor me" story on and they will give her money only for her to buy booze, not pay bills. Thanks for responding!
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
10 Jan 13
I know that we should give importance to our family and be there when they need us. But from the way you described your sister in law, she seems to be a happy-go-lucky girl and would just want to be depending on you all the time. It may be hard to refuse what she wants when you know that she might be getting in trouble or would be having problems later on, but she needs to stand on her own. I think it is time to say "no" this time.
@STOUTjodee (3573)
• United States
10 Jan 13
That's what my husband and I are realizing, you can't help some one if they're not willing to help themselves. Thanks for responding!
@Urlanda (18)
•
10 Jan 13
You should still help her, she's your sister-in-law. I know that in other countries the culture of relatives is different, but why do you make it sound like she's so annoying. I don't think she is, maybe simply a little needy at times. You can get to know her more, maybe she can't accomplish things on her own or has little incentive to do so for some reason. There must be something deeper in all this. It looks like give-and-take. Maybe a confrontation would do. Something like, "Hey, about this..." That would be cool. She can't all be that bad, you have to be open to many other kinds of people, there are after all many people.
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
10 Jan 13
You are probably right and I do wonder why she can't get an id? Was she born at home and the parents did not get the birth registered? Because the only people who do not have an id are those either born at sea or in some isolated place where their mother had to deliver them themselves sans midwife. I think she is using you for the lights and wanting her lovers to pay for the bill, but they probably will not because their wives and real girlfriends would get suspicious.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
10 Jan 13
You don't deserve to be used....but sometimes people don't think it's using someone when they are family...they have some sort of sense of entitlement...like family is just supposed to be there no matter what! It was good of your hubby to offer to move the trailer...but I wouldn't move anywhere too close to her....sometimes distance makes for better relationships.
@wilsongoddard (7291)
• United States
10 Jan 13
There is no legitimate reason for your sister-in-law not to have an i.d. She should be able to get the electricity in her own name.
It is always a hassle when you have someone else's bills in your name. That is true whether it is a matter of sharing a cell phone plan or do what you did with the electricity.
@STOUTjodee (3573)
• United States
10 Jan 13
In this town you have to show I.D. But if she's moving she needs to pay her bills off. Thanks for responding!
@mhaiXCs10s (619)
• Philippines
10 Jan 13
Some people are user and apparently you know one in the form of your sister-in-law... Sadly, she looks like not to be trusted. A person who can do cheating can do more worst. And in my own perception, a cheater will always be a cheater in her every moves and ways... Be careful so you will not be feel sorry.
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
10 Jan 13
I would certainly not make that big a commitment, moving to someplace that she decides. A friend gave her a place--does she have the title to that place or is it a loan? I would not move with her if I were you.
She can get an officially recognized picture ID from the motor vehicles department of the state government. There is no excuse not to get the electricity in her name.
I wasn't privy to the other discussions but I would not trust this woman as far as I could throw her. Just because someone is related to you doesn't mean they will treat you fairly. People often treat family even worse than others because the think forgiveness is guaranteed.
@julyteen (13252)
• Davao, Philippines
10 Jan 13
That's normal if we have a brother or sister, we can consider opportunist. I have a brother similar to your sister-in.law. I don't have a choice, he is my brother and it's my responsibility also to support him. Just only a complain you will hear from me but I cannot say to my brother to leave us and don't come back. If I have more, it's ok to share my blessings but if I don't have any so he also suffer
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
10 Jan 13
Despite being family you cannot let this continue this way. All utility bills should be in her name. Help yes, because it is family but do not move there with her. Disastrous - recipe for friction and confusion. From what you have said, she will take advantage of you in little or no time and cause distress. I would not let her use you like this at all.
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
10 Jan 13
First of all I would remove your name from the electric bill, expecially if you feel she will not pay it. Secondly, I would not move where she is going because you will be used. No matter if its family, friend or whatever no one wants to be used. It will just cause hardship later on and bad feeling between each other. Then you will be stuck living somewhere that you are not happy.
@marguicha (223720)
• Chile
10 Jan 13
From what you tell us, your sister in law is the kind of person that loves to manipulate people. And in your case, besides using you, she is making you pay for her bills. Don`t help her anymore and change the light bill. I`m sure that getting an I.D. cannot be so difficult.
@natliegleb (5175)
• India
10 Jan 13
there are many people who just cant stop this lying activity and continue for longer time and we have seen it in the past too,but for electric bill ,its quite funny
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
10 Jan 13
I have to wonder why she doesn't have an ID. everyone needs an ID and it doesn't take too much to get one. Just go down to the state licensing place and get a picture ID. My daughter doesn't own a drivers license but she has a picture ID.
It seems to me that she is going to use you. I can't get my mind around her not having an ID. The only ones ice heard of without ID's are criminals and they don't want anyone to have a picture ID of them.
I would be questioning her credibility for a couple of reasons. I wouldn't move next to her unless I wanted to be used.
@panda76 (5)
•
10 Jan 13
Hello I Just Was Reading Your Blog Your Sister In law Sounds Like A User She Had Plenty Of Chances To Go Get Proper ID To Take Lights Out Of Your Name And Besides
That She Sounds She Only Wants To Be Around and Call You When She Needs Something
Some Family Are Nothing But Users Its About You And Your Husband The Both Of You
Come Frist Thats it Sometime You Just Have to Cut Family Loose.
