In the habit of justifying laziness

How old is he? If he is about 13-14 years, boys tend to go through a laziness at that age - their bodies are going through so many changes, that they just can't seem to cope and thus, appear to be lazy. Have a 'come back' for his excuses. A sense of humor goes a long way - especially with older children and teenagers. Tell him you are going to write a book about all his excuses. I would tell my kids if they didn't do their chores, then neither was I. Which meant, that I was no longer going to cook dinner. So, if they wanted me to cook dinner for them, then they needed to uphold their end of the responsibilities in our family home. Usually, that worked because they didn't want to have to make their own dinner. So, give him reasonable consequences if he doesn't complete his chores. For example, that you are not going to drive him to his friend's house until he cleans his room. Or he can't watch TV until his chores are done. That way, you are not just nagging him, he just has to do his chores to gain back his privileges.

I always give young people some latitude because they are growing up and will go through stages of development. I've heard laziness is a product of lack of goals. Depression can effect peoples goals as they lack motivation. There needs to be some kind of reward for doing anything. Neatness can be very productive to being creative and chicks love a guy that is neat.

You do not say how old your son is. My son is not lazy, but was never great at cleaning his room. I am lousy at organizing, although I like the effect of cleanness.He probably got it from me. I would say with your son, do not argue, ask or remind him one time. If he does not do it, there should be a consequence. Also, check to see if your standards are higher than his. If the whole job seems overwhelming to him, which it might, break the task down into smaller, more specific parts. It seems that we are not taught to be able to deal with a big task anymore but we get daunted. Have some minimums, like spread his bed when he gets out of it. Wash his sheets and re make his bed on a certain day of the week. Take his trash out on a certain day of the week. Put all clothes away when they are clean, etc. Maybe put it in writing for him. Make sure that when he does accomplish the desired task there is some kind of reward, such as recognizing his efforts. Not monetary or treats. I work with older adult mentally handicapped people. One is very neat and tidy, the other is a slob. With Mr. Slob there are certain battles that are worth fighting. Whatever shift I work he knows that there are certain things I will ask him to do: pick up dirty laundry and wet towels, bring any dishes out of his room, take out his trash. I have him do this a little at a time all morning. I use the approach of "I will be glad to do this as soon as you do such and such. . . " I will be glad to fix your breakfast, while I do that, why don't you get your drink glass out of your room." "It is too early to pass your meds, but by the time you put your laundry in the wash we can do it", etc.

Yes, these are the guys that become poor performers at work and become rotten husbands. They can always find time to have fun and do what they want to do. I'm pleased to see that you are at least trying to teach him responsibility

Perhaps he needs a lesson in time management? I try to get my kids to do their chores and homework as soon as they get home from school.. then the rest of the night can be whatever they want to do. They don't actually follow this though and usually get goofing around long before homework and chores are done. For this reason I have banned electronics on weekdays so that they might actually get things done, but they still don't. I think deep down it's just a kid thing. They know when it's important to do something, and when it's not.

if this is a habit then it is bad and could be brought when he gets older and have serious tasks to do. OK, who has command to the boy you or your spouse? The one who has command or the person who this boy is more afraid of, then this person must see to it that the task is done. Like ok, clean your room now.. then watch him clean his room never to go and leave him out of sight. Then setting the day every saturday we will clean the room or every other saturdays, or once a month. Then again watch him and really keep eye on him while he does his job. After a few times, of watching, guarding style let him do the job with minimal supervision but with time allowance, In an hour I want to see your room clean.. then leave.. then be back after 15 minutes.. do this until he has beaten the time allowance. Then, instruct him to clean without supervision, but after an hour check if he did. Eventually the habit will change to positive because it will be already a habit for him to clean the room.. Hmmm.. I think I should follow my own suggestion.. my room is messy too hahahaha

Over the years, I have known many people to always try and justify their laziness. Many of them are people that I work with. I think sometimes it just gets to the point where they just get so used to making us excuses like this, and justifying the laziness that it continues to get worse until they realize their is truly more life than this. But when it comes to your son, this is not good, and you need to find ways to curb this and help show him that doing housework, etc. is a Good thing, and cleaning his room, etc. is something he will be doing the rest of his life, so unless he likes a messy house he needs to learn to be more responsible and help clean up.

I am sure it's just a phase he is going through, you are only trying to instal some disclipline in him and help him grow up NOT to be lazy, but to him he will see it as nagging. You didn't mention how old he is, am I right to assume he's a teenager? The rebellion stage, where everything you say turns into a argument. It does need to be nipped in the bud as soon as possible, if he applies this to his studies then he is not going to get the necessary qualifications for when he leaves school and it's a hard world out there once you step out of school, I know that, you know that but trying to teach your children that is a different story, to them your are lecturing them.

I'll hit him in the pocketbook. I mean when I told him to clean his room and he didn't do it, there would be a deduction in his allowance! When he asked why I'd tell him that he didn't do his chores. Less work, less money. I agree if you are lazy at work, you are the first to be let go.

Does he ever ask you to do anything for him? Like, I need this special shirt washed today or can I have this or that for dinner? Maybe you should do a little reverse psychology and give him some excuses why you couldn't do it. Maybe it would sink in a little? I dunno, haha, there are sooooooo many kids like this today and they are usually the young one's that just get a job and decide they really don't want to do anything extra at all. They can see a piece of garbage on the floor at work and will walk right past it instead of picking it up and throwing it out....just an example. I'm sure you know what I mean.

This really depends on his age. Is this the son that is five or six years old? If so, then this task can be a bit overwhelming for him and he may not no how to begin or what to do. I agree that he has to do it. I would begin by setting the clock to ping in five minutes and then tell him that you will assist him to pick up and tidy his room.Make a game of it and help him feel a sense of accomplishment when the phone/alarm rings. Let him see what can be accomplished in a small amount of time. Gradually, you can stop assisting but still set the clock. If the tasks are not finished then give him a few more minutes to complete the task. Do not expect perfection as perhaps your standards are higher because you are an adult and not a child? Praise is also essential. Then you can lead to the concept if toys are put away when he has finished playing with them, then there is less to put away. A routine can be established. I get the twins to tidy away their toys before supper. Then they bathe and we settle for our usual storytime, prays, and then special hugs to go to sleep. And yes, I often still join them or direct them to tidy up but as stated, this is done at a specific time each day. I have a strict routine as my GS is sightly OCD and this routine makes him feel secure - especially as their Mother has yet to return to them. Sorry, if I appear to be preachng but this worked for me in the past and works with the grand twins. Blessings

Honestly, I have to say that I am glad to hear that I am not the only person that has to deal with these kinds of problems with my children. Both my daughter and my son also have this same habit and it isn't something that I like at all. The one that I hear the most is that they will say that they can't get their chores done because of the fact that they have too much homework to do. This being after I've already asked them about homework and they will tell me that they didn't have any. The lying to get out of doing chores is something that drives me up the wall as well.

I raised up my child not accustomed to laziness. I told her to at first tidy up her bed when she wakes up, before doing anything else. And if she didn't, i would make the bed for her, but she would really see me so angry and be talking endless. Thus, she makes it a point to avoid that, so she would first thing when she wakes up , make her bed tidy. On other chores that she would justify, ans as always she would say she would study, i just let it go, because i can see that she really is studying well and her grades and scholarships proved it.

hi friend, your son is just 13 now, it seems, he loves you more than his dad. Nothing to think seriously on his laziness. Its just his mood, which will change in few hours. He must be thinking of some pc games or facebook comments or novel etc. Itsa common with the kids of this age. So, dont expect that your son will obey all your commands, the way you expect. As far as his future life is concerned, you will be have to be naturally careful. At this stage you should see at least he should not show his laziness in doing homework, i mean study related things. Moreover i guess, by this time, he might have started cleaning his room. Give some space for his own mood too. An there is a saying in my mother tongue ... i.e. lazy man knows everything .. this means a lazy person knows all the reason for not doing ... lol ... but in your son's case, just give him a kiss and tell again, he will definitely do ... i cant tell more... in fact one of my hobby is sleeping.

I'd say laziness is a very human tendency; the tendency to want to enjoy a life of ease. Many people don't enjoy working. Young people love to have a great time; I know I did. And I was often in trouble when I was young for laziness. But in the end, laziness can lead to disaster: for example if we don't work hard, we might enjoy a reduced status in life, which can be painful and humiliating. So in time, many of us learn to be less lazy; I'd say, because we want to do well; we want to achieve; we want to be admired by others. My room used to be untidy when I was much younger; but these days, my room is incredibly ordered, because if it wasn't, I'd probably be constantly losing stuff, which would send me into transports of rage. I am fiercely impatient with myself, and do not tolerate losing thing, or messing up in any way: I am passionately driven to achieve things. I need to have a place for everything. Yes, I was lazy as a youth; my grades were terribly poor; I left formal education at just 16 with few exams. I had to work hard to recover. Of course having an untidy room does not mean that a person is going to be lazy in other areas. But I'd say it can be good...psychologically...for a person to be tidy. How can you study in an untidy room? For example. Maybe it could be said that having an ordered room...is good for having an ordered mind. And with an ordered mind, well a person is better in a position to do well than if the mind is disordered. This may be true.

Hello bounce58, Laziness is a terrible habit because its very easy to get into it and extremely difficult to get rid of it. I have been there and I am sure most of us, especially as teenagers have been through that phase. The important thing is to learn your lessons and realize the importance of getting things done well before the deadline. I learnt this when I started working. To get out of this habit, one should try to keep himself engaged in a lot of activities, develop a hobby or something.

we get so used to it and certainly feel that laziness is good and breaking sober feel and also not tiring the body makes us more comfortable

As this is a new phase in his development it may be a short one, especially with you chasing him up about it. It sounds more like he is trying to challenge your authority than that he is just being lazy. It is all part of growing up I believe. Perhaps if you gave him a schedule of jobs that he needed to do then he would have no excuse for not doing them. Asking him to do a job out of the blue when he is busy doing something else may aggravate the situation. A list might give him a more adult attitude to his responsibilites. Do you have any kind of reward system when he does well?

Sounds like me when I was a kid. Don't worry, his laziness will pass but of course a parent should keep on guiding him. about justifying, I think every child is just learning about logic and sometimes expressing it through justifying.