Please Speak To Me Like An Adult!
@danishcanadian (28955)
Canada
January 21, 2013 10:34pm CST
I hear a lot of parents using childish words, even when not speaking with children, and using the excuse "I'm just used to it. It's part of being a parent." My mother and father never used baby words with my sister and I, or anyone else's children. My mother ran a nursery school for 15 years, and didn't use childish words with the kids either. She felt they needed to learn how to communicate like adults, and she was going to start them on the right path.
Something that drives me NUTS is the word POTTY. My husband is a a few decades (yes you heard that right I said DECADES!!!) older than I am. He has a bad habit of using the word "potty" ad then the excuse that he raised too many kids to stop now. For what it's worth, 9 of the 10 are older than I am, and the 10th is a 21 year old marine. Also, when I'm sitting in a restaurant with my husband (not my father!!!) and we have a long ride home, I don't need to hear him say "do you need to use the potty before we get on the bus?" Fortunately it never got that far, but I told hi9m if it ever did, I'd leave him there! LOL
Even when dealing with kids, why can't people just say "toilet?" Toilet training, taking the kids to the toilet (or washroom, restroom, bathroom), etc. Why "potty?"
4 people like this
26 responses
@wilsongoddard (7291)
• United States
22 Jan 13
The word "potty" doesn't bother me. What does bother me is the teaching of all these weird, incorrect words for body parts. To make it even worse, adults use words such as "lady bits." Ugh!
Children should be taught the correct words for the parts of their anatomy. Conversations regarding people violating boundaries (i.e., inappropriate touching) should never be combined with conversations about healthy sexuality.
I agree that one should talk with children as though they are intelligent human beings. I have always spoken to my fuzzy children with the expectation that they understand me (and they generally do), why would I do any less with human children?
Children rise to the level of our expectations of them. They can also plummet to meet our low expectations of them. Is it not better to expect great things of one's children?
3 people like this
@danishcanadian (28955)
• Canada
22 Jan 13
My mother always believed that the only way kids are going to learn is if we teach them. Using childish made up words will only hold tem back. Great point about expectations.
2 people like this
@danishcanadian (28955)
• Canada
22 Jan 13
Yes pets, and I don't even talk to them like babies! I might call my cat over, talk to him a bit, play with him, but I actually don't babytalk to him either.
2 people like this
@poppoppop111 (5731)
• Canada
22 Jan 13
Baby talk annoys me. I never used it with my daughter and she was speaking real words at the same age that a child would learn baby words. So obviously kids are able to use the real words for things. She once asked me what people meant by saying potty. I never even used do you have to potty. At 2 she used to say mom I need to use the washroom.
3 people like this
@danishcanadian (28955)
• Canada
22 Jan 13
Right on! Same here, when I was that age. If someone dared to ask me if I needed the potty, I'd actually correct them, and ask why they never learned how to speak like an adult! LOL
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
22 Jan 13
I never "baby talked' with my kids. Coz I thought that they would be able to speak easier if they were to learn exactly how the words are used.
1 person likes this
@danishcanadian (28955)
• Canada
22 Jan 13
Good for you! The best way to ensure a child understands is to teach them!
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
22 Jan 13
It's just habit. I use the word potty for toilet sometimes. Potty always sounded better than defecate. My father was bad to use inappropriate words. He asked my little 3 year old grandson, in church, if he had to kaaky or ka ka and everyone just looked. We knew when he had to go because he would make a face. I never said kaka. I used the word potty because it was easier for him when he was first beginning to talk. He is going to be a father now, and I'm sure he will use baby language with his baby.
1 person likes this
@danishcanadian (28955)
• Canada
22 Jan 13
Go to the bathroom was always standard here. If the parent was involved, the question of urination or defication was not an issue until the parent and child was inside of the toilet area. Then ask the child what needs to be done. Good point about the face!
@pomwango (1353)
• Kenya
22 Jan 13
i think its just a perception we have that kids won't understand hard words.i dont think its bad to have baby talk but only with kids and not adults.i find like a baby needs time to digest my words and if you talk similar to them they will grasp faster.
1 person likes this
@danishcanadian (28955)
• Canada
22 Jan 13
A great point! I have often wondered why many adults seem to forget, or not realize what children are capable of understanding.
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
22 Jan 13
I haven't heard any teens say that. I use it once in awhile but I am at home. Who cares? Who hears me? I was in college 3 years and never heard one young person talk childish. Everyone grows out of it when they can form adult words better. My grandson couldn't say bathroom or toilet at 2 years old. He could say poo and pee. We adults still say pee instead of urinate all the time. It's just quicker to say pee.
1 person likes this
@danishcanadian (28955)
• Canada
22 Jan 13
I'd like to think that everyone grows out of it, but there's something about having children that actually makes some adults regress, I've noticed.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160998)
• United States
22 Jan 13
I think I say toilet or bathroom mostly. If hubby and I are together one or the other of us usually just says "gotta go" and we know what we are indicating. I know I also use the word "restroom" but you know, "toilet" is the most accurate. We do not go sit on the stool to take a bath, and we are not always resting when we go in there either.
@danishcanadian (28955)
• Canada
22 Jan 13
"Gotta go" works for me. LOL I don't know why people are so awkward around terms for a room with a toilet in it. Not always baithing, not always resting, but I sure as heck home that one atleast WASHES their hands after using the room, whatever it's called! :)
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
23 Jan 13
from my experience I found it is an American thing, Canadians don't talk like that for the most part. I never heard a Canadian say potty not to mean they can't I just never heard it from them.
1 person likes this
@lafavorito (2959)
• Philippines
28 Jan 13
I don't really like baby-talk. I feel stupid doing it.
For me, baby talk is ok if the child is really a baby. Cooing to a baby seems fine but baby talking a 2-year-old seem too much. We can still go down to the child's level of understanding without doing the baby talk.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
28 Jan 13
Are we having a widdle tantwum? (slaps self)
Seriously, I never really did baby talk either. I remember my MIL saying about me "she talks to the baby like she's a little adult".
I suppose words like potty are easier for kids to pronounce...
@allknowing (137958)
• India
22 Jan 13
After reading your post my instant thought was - how old I wonder her husband is and I wonder how old she is!It is totally your fault for having fed us with this juicy information!
Now coming to your post It is odd really for someone to say potty when talking to an adult although I think it is fine with kids. When my boss and family were over for lunch,some years ago, their two year old was fascinated with the hens we were rearing at that time. So I took the child in my arms and said 'Come I will show you cockies' Instantly my boss pounced on me and said 'say hens'. He was something like you. But I like talking to kids using 'baby terms'
Now coming to your post It is odd really for someone to say potty when talking to an adult although I think it is fine with kids. When my boss and family were over for lunch,some years ago, their two year old was fascinated with the hens we were rearing at that time. So I took the child in my arms and said 'Come I will show you cockies' Instantly my boss pounced on me and said 'say hens'. He was something like you. But I like talking to kids using 'baby terms'1 person likes this
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
22 Jan 13
Even thought talking to child like adults they don't always understand what the word means like toilet they don't give 2 cents what a toilet it to them it's a scary white thing that they sit on to go to the bathroom.
My daughter is going to be 2 next week I never us the world decade because that word is out of her ball park for sure she 2 not 10 years old so yes I use potty and there isn't anything wrong with the word potty. You have to remember ever parent is different if you don't like then you don't do it yourself to your kids but with others you just going to have to get over it. When your talking to child you have to use words they will understand or they wont' get it.
When i talk to adults its different then my daughter yes I don't baby talk her all of the time but I choice words that I know she will get and that is easy for her to say so when she is talking to me and my husband we can understand her.
@danishcanadian (28955)
• Canada
22 Jan 13
How can we, as adults, be sure that children don't understand these words unless we teach them to them? Every child I've ever met has understood and been taught appropriate adult words. All my nieces, and nephews knew the appropriate words when they were that age.
1 person likes this
@Hence27 (450)
• India
23 Jan 13
Yes,nobody like to be treated like a baby.An adult can never accept this.I am an adult and i feel really frustrated,because one ofmy aunt behaves like me as a child.I really don't like to be behaved like a baby.I explained her many times about my feelings and i told her not to behave like a child.I feel very bad when she behaves like this.The result is also not good.Now i avoid talking to her.She also used that kind of unwanted words for me.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
22 Jan 13
I agree. Kids can understand so much more then we realize...and using the correct termonology helps them excel. Another one I detest is using abreviations...like Baba for bottle.....that one just irritates me. Say bottle....not baba....or blankee...blanket...its a blanket!
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
23 Jan 13
I agree with you, but some habits are hard to break. My 84 year old husband mispronounces many words. I think it is the dialect of the hills where he grew up. I guess I thought I could change that when we married but soon found out that it was a lost cause. He also usee baby words and acts as if he thinks it is cute. I don't remember him doing that when he was younger. Do you think he's getting senile?
@inertia4 (27960)
• United States
22 Jan 13
I never spoke with childish words in my life, not even with my kids. My evil ex did and she hated the fact that I did not do that. Well too bad is what I say. To this day I speak to my kids like adults. They do understand where I am coming from. And if I use a word that they do not understand I explain it to them and then rephrase my statement for them to understand. I was never raised like that either. Children are people to. Lets treat them that way. They understand more then we give them credit for.
@shiesse (306)
• Canada
22 Jan 13
I agree for the most part that baby talk shouldn't be used. I said potty for my children but only when they were actually using a potty chair and not an actual toilet, probably why potty is used for bathroom. I couldn't imagine telling them to use they potty now, I could just see my 3 year old trying to find her old potty chair!
@doroffee (4222)
• Hungary
22 Jan 13
Oh, I know. I've never been someone who used these motherese kind of language ever. Sometimes I do, occasionally, out of a laugh, but... there are some words in my language, made by airheaded mothers, which just annoy me sooo much! Like when they are calling their babies little dwarves... it's okay when they are born, but when a 5-year old is referred to as a little dwarf, or even a 12-year old, who's truly ashamed by his/her mother (especially when it's a he :D) calling them a little dwarf.
Well, another thing is, that in my language, some "diehard mothers", who are like, since the baby is born, the baby is their life (and it IS, like they only talk about it and care about it, they don't even care about their husbands...)... well, when they refer to the kid in first person plural, as we. We have had our first tooth fell out. We had to get examined by the good old pediatrician. We have used the potty for the first time... No. You are not a kid. You are a complete other person, and the baby is also a total separate personality. The kid had their first tooth fallen out, not you. It's pathetic...
@ZoeJoy (1392)
• United States
23 Jan 13
I worked in a day care and the day care director told us not to say 'horsey'. It is a horse, not a horsey. She wanted the child care providers to speak properly to the children and not speak down to the children.
She also trained us to just gently and quietly correct the children. If they say 'aminals' then just repeat back 'animals' For example, 'So, you enjoyed seeing the animals at the zoo?' - that way, the children hear the correct way to pronounce a word without being 'corrected'.
