I'm always afraid that my relationship will end
By TheScupp
@TheScupp (102)
Finland
January 22, 2013 7:15am CST
So, I am now first time in a serious relationship and I have this problem that I'm all the time afraid that it will end. I don't find any reason to be afraid of that because we both are really happy and we don't argue about anything and so on...
I can't stop thinking about her and I feel like I couldn't live without her. Am I just so in love, or is this normal?
Basically I just feel so bad everyday because I'm afraid that I do something wrong or this will end. :/
2 people like this
17 responses
@devonavis (1854)
• Greece
22 Jan 13
You are in love. Don't be afraid of doing mistakes. This will test her love for you. . I think that is normal, everyone feels so when they truly love a person. But we should not be afraid if we know we are not doing something wrong.
1 person likes this
@ZoeJoy (1392)
• United States
22 Jan 13
If you do make a mistake, because you love her so much, are you willing to say that you are sorry? And ask for her forgiveness? Don't worry about your mistakes, just be concerned about loving her.
And what if she makes a mistake? Are you willing to forgive her? Just be concerned about loving and caring for her.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
23 Jan 13
Stop thinking about it.
Enjoy every moment that you shared with your special someone.
Why think of all negative things, instead try to give your best.
If your relationship won't last, at least you can tell yourself that you've done your very best.
@deazil (4730)
• United States
22 Jan 13
Hi Scupp! The last time I saw you, you were looking for a hobby. I see you found one - love!! Good for you. But you're young and I understand that this is a very serious relationship for you. Don't worry if you haven't done anything to worry about. Take each day as it comes. Whatever will happen, will happen. I think you have not been in this relationship very long. You haven't had your first argument yet. It's pretty normal to worry. It's not normal to dwell on the worrying. If you worry too much about a problem, this can make it happen. Not always, but it can. Be happy, be in love. Remember, no other love in your whole life will be like this one. Stop being afraid. Everything ends sooner or later, for one reason or another. Enjoy it while you have it. Live each day as if it were your last. Love as if it will never happen again. Good luck! And relax.
@Mavic123456 (21893)
• Thailand
23 Jan 13
wow... this is a woman in love speaking.. whoooooooo hoooooot..
I never thought that finding a hobby could mean finding love.... hobby = love? should I change my hobby?
@babyeve (1048)
• Seychelles
23 Jan 13
It is normal to feel like this since thievery is new, but what you should do is to try to feel confidence when it comes to committing yourself in a relationship. Be always open-minded and talk to your partner about what you are actually feeling to be on the safe side. If it ends, it was meant to happen somehow. No one can presume what is going to happen in the future.
1 person likes this
@valorieesquilona (442)
• Philippines
22 Jan 13
Howdy!
I do not know if I have the right to say anything about what you feel right now but, I hope I could help you somehow. You know, the only thing that is permanent in this world is change and nothing lasts forever. If you will be afraid of losing her or scared that your relationship will end soon, you will be hurt so much when that time comes. We always have to be open to changes and to possibilities that everything could, would and should end in the right time. So, now that you are still together, cherish every second that you have with your significant other and be contented if you are happy as of the moment. You can stop being afraid that the relationship will end because whether you like it or you don't, it will surely end in time and that's the sad reality of life. have a good time, friend!
@TheScupp (102)
• Finland
22 Jan 13
Well that's kinda pessimistic response, but you are right about that nothing last forever. Still I think that you can't be in relationship if you "are sure" that it will end some day. I know it will likely end someday but I think it's pretty much about the perspective. Sometimes I just wish that everything wouldn't be so logic...
@valorieesquilona (442)
• Philippines
22 Jan 13
yeah, you are right. maybe, sometimes we can live by our ideas and thoughts that will make us happy and contented but the world is just so not like that. in this world, ideals are called imaginations and fantasy that's why we have to be realistic in order to survive and not to be hurt so much. well, hope still exists. we don't know what the future brings, right? who knows, you and your gf will change the saying that "nothing lasts forever". I hope you do!
@Mavic123456 (21893)
• Thailand
22 Jan 13
you just need to be honest and sincere and everything will go a long way. Just take it easy and you can live without her LOL. She is not an oxygen and maybe you much dependence on her existence will choke her. Never ever choke the relationship like what you said, you will be not live without her that a big..... anyway, just enjoy it and be yourself... Argument is normal to a relationship, and if you don't argue, then there must be something wrong with it.
happy valentines day.
@Mavic123456 (21893)
• Thailand
22 Jan 13
wow.. i think you are more in love than me.
My answer? hihihi... (like a little girl blushing)
YES! ...
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
23 Jan 13
You are making yourself paranoid over nothing. Why waste time thinking of the bad things that may happen to your relationship when you can think of ways to make it really work?
@TheScupp (102)
• Finland
23 Jan 13
Yeah, I thought that yesterday pretty much and noticed that I don't really have any reason to worry. Still I just get that feeling. I guess that sometimes feelings are pretty hard to control?
Anyway, I really appreciate these responses and after a good sleep I can think things more clear now. :)
It seems like many people don't believe that anything could last forever?
This might be a bit different but I have one close friend and I have known him my whole life.
I believe strongly that relationships can last forever if it doesn't get stuck on the same place.
1 person likes this
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
23 Jan 13
It is important to be careful with those feelings. You don't want them to mess up your relationship or cause problems. Just remember how much she cares for you and do your best to be there for you. If you work hard at the relationship she will notice this and it will help keep your relationship strong. Try not to be overly anxious about this it's not good for your nerves.
@aminul842700 (861)
• Dhaka, Bangladesh
23 Jan 13
Hi friend, wash out bad things from your head. You are doing fine. Now one thing is that you should control your speech. Because much talks much chances to commit mistake and much chances to make her annoyed. Have a nice day.
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
24 Jan 13
Geez, you are scared because everything is going perfectly? You are scared even though the problem does not exist?
Don't let paranoia bother you. Live the moment and enjoy your life. Don't fear the future, it's better to appreciate the now.
I've never felt that way before. Is that love or plain paranoia? Some people experience it though, so it's not totally abnormal.
@shiesse (306)
• Canada
22 Jan 13
Funny, I thought I was the only one that ever had feelings like that! I used to be like that all the time when I was young I was so paranoid of the relationship ending that it actually caused problems in the relationship. I no longer do this, I guess I don't have to now that I am married for over 10 years. Just remember, love does not come easy and does take work, you need compromise kindness and understanding, and do not just end it because you have a problem, you need to work it out together
@Happielady85 (384)
• United States
24 Jan 13
Just relax, have a good time, and don't worry about it. If you are going to Tworry, you won't be able to enjohy yourself. This is when you can become up-tight.....so just relax, enjoy yourself. She'll enjoy you better if you can just relax, be yourself and have fun.
@Bhebelen14 (5194)
• Philippines
22 Jan 13
I think what you feel right now is normal since this is you first serious relationship where you very happy yet afraid that it might be end someday. The best thing to do right now is to enjoy the situation, just go on to the flow and be in love everyday. In any relationship there's always a risk and tendency of separation but if both of you really meant for each other no one will can ever end you relationship.
@ZoeJoy (1392)
• United States
22 Jan 13
Commitment is very important to a long term relationship. So, buy her a nice diamond ring and make it a REAL commitment. In other words, get married. And don't just get married with a piece of paper but in your heart and soul.
I know that many marriages end in divorce but if a couple are living together, they can more easily break up, without any obligation or even an explanation to the other. So people who live together break up even easier than those who are married.
Women want to know if there is a future in the relationship, so talk to her about your future together. Plan for the future. How do you visualize your life with her, in the future?
Communication is also very important to a long term relationship. So is honesty and loyalty and faithfulness. Just focus on loving and caring for her, that way, even if you make a mistake (and yes, you are human and all humans make mistakes) your love, commitment, loyalty, honesty, faithfulness and good character will make up for any mistake that you make. It takes more than just 'falling in love' for a long term relationship. It takes loving and caring for that person, even on days that you are not happy. In other words - through the storms as well as the sunny days.
Are you committed to her and willing to love her even when it storms?
@TheScupp (102)
• Finland
22 Jan 13
Well we aren't that far yet but I have always wanted a long term relationship. I'm not really sure what you mean with that "REAL commitment" etc. because I don't want to be in relationship if other don't want. I mean that if she wan't to divorce I don't want to continue either. It wouldn't just work?
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
22 Jan 13
I think that is normal to have that kind of thoughts. You have found happiness together and when you are happy it is easy to get that kind of thoughts because you think: What is going to happen if I am lose the happiness that I have found? I used to take that kind of thoughts when my ex-boyfriend and I were together, but I think that it is important to learn to focus on the happiness we have today. If we always worry about the future we might worry about things that are never going to happen and if we worry about them we suffer twice: When we worry about them and when or IF they actually happen.
If you do something wrong it is possible that the relationship will end, but it doesn't have to be that way. If you are honest and take responsibility for the things you have done it and apologise the relationship doesn't have to end, but of course it depends on the things you have done and her thoughts about it.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
22 Jan 13
Way less chance your relationship will end if you believe in it, if you have a positive look on it (write down every day all great things about the relationship, yourself and your partner), if you have a life of your own and don't forget your friends, goals, if you are not making problems which don't exist. Might be important for you as well to write down your biggest fears or what once hapend so you can make a clear picture for yourself why you are that afraid it won't work. BTW no relationship should exist forever. We all live way longer, we all are more educated and if time passes by our opinion will change as well. If two people do not develop in the same direction the time might come you have to go separate ways.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
22 Jan 13
If you keep worring about it all the time. Means the relationship isnt very strong. Try and relax, and everything will be fine.