The tie that binds / myLot

United States

January 25, 2013 7:26pm CST

We are born into a family consisting of parent(s) and possibly brothers and sister. you grow up together, experiences are somewhat similar and you all are exposed to similar things. What goes wrong when some of those people who grew up in the some home turn out to be totally different. For instant, so turn to drugs and alcohol, some finishes high school, some even go on to college. Referring to siblings, no one was treated any differently growing up, but some ends up "tore up from the floor up". I dont get it. Why do they get mad and vendictive as if others in the family are the cause of their lives turning out that way. The one or ones doing well in their life reaches out to give the other(s) a helping hand, just to be dispised and hated. Why is that? Why are family members like that? the cause of their own problem but hate others for doing better. I dont get it. And you know what, you continue to love them anyways, even though they continue to plot your demise (hehehe). Where do you draw the line? You feel bad cutting them off because they are your brothers and sister, but....you dont want to continue to be victimized by those who came from the same womb. You know what I did after so many years? I continue to love, but, I moved to another State and loved them from afar. Was that the wrong move or the best? Will they realize their wrong doing now that you are no longer at arms length and they can not plot and take advantage of you. Hummm. Something to think about. My cousin once told me, family does not have to be by blood relationship. She has accepted others outside the family as a member of her family, just because they treat her better. Hummm....Something else to think about.

3 responses

vivek19

@vivek19 (218)

• India

26 Jan 13

Some people of a family are doing great job while some not so good. members of the same family are jelous of each others success. These all things and habits are not a child gets from his parents but the company outside the class he gets as a person is known as the company he keeps. Nothing can be done if someone has developed such kinds of activities. It's well said that a person is not upset because of his woes but due to others happiness.

@tanvirnabi123 (126)

•

26 Jan 13

Hello debraacarter The relationship that turns into intoxicate is really disappointing. A painful frustration depicted in your writing touches my heart also.Even I personally observe that many people suffer and experience all heart rending trouble due to intoxicate relationship through out their lives. My personal life is not exceptional too. Siblings are separated and become antagonist even after long years of living under one roof. The very fabric of family bondage is parting leaving utter frustration in the society. We need depth analysis of the situation. When they grow up,they behave differently and some are careless, thoughtless and addicted. Does it mean that they are influenced by the environment or motivated to do all evil doing by the company they keep ? So what factors work here ? Ill motivation influences greatly on the mind. There is a common saying that 'the men grow more, the negative attitudes nourish more.'It is the conscience that controls but the conscience does not work well unless ones good environment and practice of ethical sense are active. So they easily tempt to get mad and vindictive to others even it is no matter who came from the same womb. They nourish a great hatred to their siblings for their betterment. This may happen due to their failure or their disqualification to upgrade their lives. Drawing line to this intoxicate relationship is not possible. This is our way of life and way of the world. Great dramatist William Shakespeare demonstrated this negative human trait in his many dramas.King Lear is one of his best cited drama where blood relationship has been analyzed and depicted as feeble and fragile. My conclusion is that you keep your best positive feelings for your siblings going on and this will be your great triumph. Take other sentiment as usual. The world is a stage and we are merely player. A well reputed quotation that is cited from a great dramatist. Tanvir Nabi

@jenny1015 (13366)

• Philippines

26 Jan 13

Conflicts within the family is unavoidable sometimes. And the best thing to avoid this is to just stay away from them to prevent from having more arguments that eay lead to something real bad. My mom and his younger brother have been in bad terms for the past 10 years, I think. Well, it was all because of my uncle's fault, really. I feel sad knowing that mom and and uncle had to go to the point of going to point for some legal matters. But, I think it is the only way that my Mom can teach my uncle a lesson.