forgive, forget and move on...

Keep ignoring his messages. Eventually, he will get tired or bored with whatever he's trying to do. I think he still have not gotten over the breakup.

Ah! How can I ignore now... he keeps sending a message, I think trying to get my attention for me to talk or say something. Being an accommodating person, I was replying with one-word only, or a one-liner. I think that would do.

Yeah I am happy I made the right movie Jenny. But what's bothering me is him who still sends me message which I kept ignoring. It is not about us but just about anything as he is still an FB friend. Could not able to delete him I was just waiting for him to finally feel that it's worthless for us being friends so he would think about deleting me.

YES...my dearest Bro', that is the path of least resistance, and the choice of a very wise person...a much bigger person than I am! A foible I find so hard ...knowing that one has cheated and lied, and felt so little of me that I was rendered a fool. There is a lot to be said for Karma..but there is just times when my character is maligned with such malevolence that I must set the record straight...and then I will and CAN move on, without the perpetrator darkening my world, again. EVER! This is some-one our dear Little En, trusted, believed in and gave her heart to, and for that she was treated cruelly and that must be so painful! I have a brand new, lovely 27 inch Monitor...and rallying from that awful "Flu" big that rendered me almost useless for 3 weeks. Look out...I'm back...

let me remain ignorant of everything and continue as is... I will have my day someday... Exactly what I'm doing now godson Although I can't help posting a phrase today from dearest pergammano It's just my way of letting him know that I know it - not directly telling him but I am sure he would be puzzled just as he was puzzled the other day with a quote I posted. But this time I am sure he would learn how to distance himself away from me, which is exactly what I want. I can't wait when I'll have my day :))

@my dear, I wish no bad karma for him. I would just wish that he change for the better. I know he is not a bad person, although what he did is bad. Woot! Great to know you have a new and bigger monitor… and that you are well now. So this is the reason I didn’t see you around lately…

Hi sid, But a "friend" would not lie or cheat you True enough! And I think I must not consider him a friend anymore. ANd I really thought I can. But whenever I think about the lies - I can't really accept it. So I ignores his message. And turns out, it's good coz he finally deactivated his account. I guess he's puzzled, shameful, guilty. Serves him right! So there's no more connection between us. And I'm happy about it. I'd be completely happy if I let him know what I found out. It was useless but sometimes I should have tell him.

***It was useless but sometimes I think it's better if I should have tell him.

I would feel the same way too. I guess it is normal to feel annoyed and angry because you have believed in them that they have not done anything wrong. And I guess you are also right that a confrontation won't be necessary since the relationship is already over.

i would just let it go. when i'm done with someone i'm completely done. people who cheat don't normally make it far in life.

'guess you're right 21ravensbaby, although I would still wish these people will change and be better in the future. I would not want to see people I cared in the past be in a dark & desperate life.

You're right bhahy! I guess it will be really useless letting the person know what you've found out. But just in case the person started bothering you there will be something to slap on his face

The relationship I guess had a closure since it's clearly pointed out in a message that it's over. And I think not letting the person know is way better, guilt feelings will be felt for sure.

You only want to say something to this cheater for your own sake and for the sake of closure. That way, you have said all that you have to say and now, you can move forward and leave this cheater behind you. Waaay behind.

Hi MissPiggy, I know what you feel. We can forgive, but it really is never easy to forget. Well I don't really know whether you have moved on. Some says that if you are happy with your life now and with a new love then you can say you have moved on already.

I do understand... we actually think that we have forgiven the person. But when we talk about the past, we still feel that hatred we felt towards the person. It's really hard but the good thing is that we can already laugh about what happened in the past too. It's great to know that it didn't take a long time for you to found a new love. I do believe that having a new love can ease away the pain and sadness.

oh, I have moved on and found a new love. In fact I already moved on a week after the break up. However, I should have forgiven him if I have really moved on. Right? Keeping anger is not good. But well, that's the hardest part.

Yeah it will be more painful. And I am happy that we're done. It's really over and I must be glad that I won't have to feel the pain anymore or being continuous lied and feel confused.

I've moved on already. It was nothing. What just irritates is how he thinks I am ignorant of some things. Well I could have been ignorant if I didn't see something. He's part of the past now and I would not tell him about it. He would feel it anyway. And if he cheats anyone, he only cheats himself too with all the lies he tells.

I'm relieved. I feel better. I feel that I am free. No more worries. No confusion. And while I trying to ignore him this morning from the message he sent in FB... I am now glad that he had deactivated his account. Prolly felt that I no longer cared and that he's guilty. LoL!

oh I forgot to say too... I didn;t want to tell it to his face, I feel it will be worthless anymore as he might reason out well. He;s good at that. About evaluating whether to keep him as a friend, I have come to realize it is also pointless being friends with him. And that is why I did not reply to his message anymore. To make him feel that we should just leave each other alone. I was waiting for him to delete or deactivate his account.. as he's fond of deactivating his account. And the wait is over, as just this afternoon he finally did deactivated his FB.... so now we are no longer friends!

There is no going back. Once it is through, it must be kept in the past only. Leave it behind and take only those that you have learned from it. And yes you are right, the smart decision is to just let it pass and forget about it. What matters is that you're not the one who cheated and lied. You are the one who got fooled.

Hiya Angelpink! You hit it right! If I’d be the one to start the confrontation that would only mean I am holding on in that relationship, I want him back and only giving him a chance to apologize. Right now I am ignoring him. At least trying to. Trying not to reply on his message, which is not about the relationship. So there is really no way I would tell that to him. Only If he ask me and insisted then I guess I would have no choice but tell him. He is still a friend on facebook so he still can send me a message. I wanted to delete him but I think it is childish to do so. Temporarily I turned off my chat option so he would not ask why I’m not replying.

True, it's pointless to let the person know that you are aware of the bad thing he did. Never would I trust a person like him again too. I know that we must always give some person a chance to change but I still believe in what they say... Once a cheater always a cheater. well who knows he'll change.. if he do, then I'll be happy about it but never will get back with him again.

Hi ZoeJoy, It really feels better to let the person know that you are aware of him cheating or lying, whatever it is he did. However, I do think it won’t be needed anymore. I think being honest with the person, never saying that you have a little idea about he’s lies and just making him feel that you know it… will shut them up and make them feel guilty which I think he’s feeling now.

and what if he says it is not true or reason out very well...? I guess i'd better make him feel that guilt. He would know it. ANd he would feel it. Yes Karma is real but I do hope he would just learn his lesson but not have a bad life.

Hi dpk, Such a nice advise. And yes it is true that totally ending the relationship means there is no getting back because it was all well thought of and not just decided in a haste.

Concern,,,YOU betcha, my Princess! If I was in your area, I would be the one "kicking his butt" for what he has done to you!!!! My pain for you, is that this kind of behaviour from others causes US to have a jaded view of others! Whether we like it, or not, it has residual affects on our future relations, and some-one in our future whom really deserves our love and respect...doesn't get all of us, as we hold a little back to protect ourselves! Use all your artillery, little one, any lines from anything I have to say that may ease some of your pain. Know you are revered, little one! HUGZ

Awww thanks my dear for even wanting to kick his butt His not so near to me so he's lucky. Well you guess it right, I don't easily believe with words of others and I sometimes joke about it when someone says they like me. I have rejected a couple of guys lately because I believe so they are not for real. I am not sure but well it is better to reject someone you don't feel attracted to. Other times, I have a hard time distinguishing who is real and who is not... and have fears a guy would just fool me or not... A friend says don't over protect myself as maybe I'd meet someone true but since I'm too afraid I didn't know I'll lose him. I'll try to kick those fears away while I loosen up a bit.

Hahaha! I was laughing reading your response my dear pergammano! I feel so much concern from you and I am truly grateful about it. Love you my dear In fact I would like to use some lines from what you said, making a quote on my fb account. And I know that it will really hit the person hard. I've posted a quote days ago where he reacted and it made him sleepless and guilty, I suppose (as per his post) For me that's already a sweet revenge where I need not slap on his face whatever I found out. But in case he bothers me and act like an angel, I would gladly smack it on his face.

Yes it will actually make you feel great that you won;t have to regret whatever decision you have made once you find out that the person actually cheated on you. Whether or not the person is serious about the third party involved it is still called cheating and breaking one's trust.

Hi Kitty, This is a bit confusing sometimes. What I have in mind is to just let it go since the relationship is through. However, just letting the person know that you are aware of something can make the ex feel more guilty, and I guess it's best and most simple revenge one can ever make. The only question is how to let the ex know it in a subtle way. I also thought that ending the friendship is better especially if the person betrayed you and fooled you. Most importantly when you have given them nothing but pure love.

I have thought about it, but I guess doing such can be worthless already. I already know what I want and I know that I do not want him in my future before I even discovered about the cheating or flirting with another. I was kinda laughing although hurt with the discovery. But I guess God has finally shown me the answer why I feel confused and unhappy with our relationship.

me too, i just can't take it that long if someone continuously lie to me. And that is why it is better ending up the relationship than keeping it and dealing with lies.

i agree with you enelym001, just end up it. i hate this kind of relationship..........