I'm going to do everything in my power not to have anymore children

Exactly! Why should it be left up to just the woman? A man should take responsibility as well.

I agree with you. He should be more willing to take care of this responsibility. After all one mishap and then a person can get pregnant. It is a serious responsibility and should be viewed as such. That is why I'm working hard to make sure that I don't get pregnant because I view having a child as a life long responsibility and so I don't take it lightly. I guess he will just keep saying whatever negative things he wants to about birth control but birth control needs to be used in order not to have children.

thanks for the agree

H i ! It is more practical to have few children with a husband who is irresponsible and having a bad nature because for sure the family would always be in trouble . The environment is not conducive for good growth and development of a child. Children are delicate in formative years therefore they must wake up with a loving , value laden family . If the latter can't be found better not to have any child at all.

Lot of worries coming into your mind during pregnancy until the time of labor. Although I am not the one suffer the pain but I know it's too painful and alot of sacrifices did by my wife.

You completely understand how I feel. One child is enough. Taking care of a child is a lot of responsibility and requires a lot of sacrifice.It's hard work I never thought though that it would be simple. It's just I wasn't planning on having children for a long time and she was a surprise for her. So I'm trying to do my best to not having anymore surprises.

I don't remember which field you said that you were wanting to pursue. My thought, though, would be to look toward a four-year school with family housing; you could take some courses right now but transfer the credits once you get into a baccalaureate program. Then, you could walk away (to a college environment) with your daughter in tow. You would have financial aid to cover things, so you would likely be fine financially. An on-campus job would help round things out. Your daughter would have other kids to play with, because there would be other families. You would have other mothers with whom you could talk--some of whom might be in similar situations.

Yeah I agree with you. It would be awful to feel any more pressure to be trapped in this marriage. So that is why I'm not going to pay any attention to the negative talk he says when it comes to birth control. I'm going to do what I need to do. I plan to save and get the Mirena which will last five years. He of course doesn't want me to get it because he says we should have another child in two years. But that in itself is a laugh. I love my daughter and would love anymore children that I would have but there is no way I want to have another child in this marriage. I'm planning to take a college course at the end of this month and hopefully start more college courses this summer or fall. He knows that I want to get an associates degree which will take two years so I don't see how he expects me to have another child in two years. It's basically like him saying: forget your goals of getting a career I want you to stay home and have children, and be at home all the time. Sorry but there are things that I would like to do as well and I just see that I have to take all the steps necessary to reach them on my own.

That is a great thing that birth control is like that in your country. I wish it were more like that here. We do have companies that try and work to make it cheaper but then there are still big bills as far as procedures when you first go in. I'm working to pay mine off and then I will try and get back on the pill. I had the shot before but it caused me more joint pain that I'm comfortable with.

I really am lucky that they can help us that much. Not all grandparents could be as generous most especially at this time, right? And that is one reason why I always tell my kids to strive harder with their studies coz I do not want my in laws to say something bad against me or them. Every cent is worth a lot.

I'm glad to hear that your in laws were there to help and support you as well. I'm sure that you really appreciated their help. For a time my mom was helping me more before she moved out of state. I really appreciated all the help that she offered when she lived near. It's great that your in laws helping with sending your kids to school.

I agree with you pregnancy is so much more expensive. The abstinence thing wouldn't work. The method that I'm using now is working but my husband complains about it and doesn't want me to use it. But that is too bad it because I'm the one who has to pay all the bills that are for my medical expenses as well as the month bill for my birth control. So unless he is willing to pay for what he thinks would be appropriate then I don't feel that he should be making such a big deal about it. Every form of birth control (except abstinence of course) has some type of side effect. And I'm just not going even going to try the whole family planning the natural way because I'm sure I would more than likely get pregnant trying to do it that way.

Yeah I'm talking about the Mirena IUD. I haven't heard of any recall but I have to look into that. Thanks for letting me know. I hadn't heard anything hopefully nothing is wrong with them or that they have fixed whatever problem it was causing.

Most birth control methods that are considered to be effective have side effects. Ranging from weight gain, nausea, heart attack, possible stroke, etc,etc. There is a method that he could do that wouldn't cause problems for him or me but he isn't willing to do that. So I have to do what is necessary in order not to have anymore children. Since he knows just about everything has a side effect he should be more considerate about it.

I'm glad to hear that your husband helps you. That is something to definitely appreciate. I can only imagine how busy you are with three children. Well at least they are able to keep each other busy and occupied. Glad to hear that the monthly injections is working for you and your family.

Unfortunately he is. The Mirena would cost close to six hundred dollars not including doctors fees. So it would take awhile before I could pay that amount. So I've got to save for something like that but I know that is what I should get. Right now I'm doing the best with what I can afford financially. If I stick to the what is working right now and not pay attention to what I'm husband is saying then I can work on saving for. I just hate the fact that he makes it seem as if I can just tell my body not to get pregnant with out paying out all this money. But things don't work like that.

wish you the best of luck and keep it up and happy heart day to you

Yes you are exactly right. Marriage should be team work. Unfortunately though I don't think that things in that regard are going to change. So I know that I have to be the responsible one and realize that I do not want to have any more children when I'm alone in this. I'm happy to hear that you and your husband are planning to have a child. It is a great thing when both partners are willing to step up to the responsibility of being a parent.

Thanks I appreciate that. I agree he should understand and respect that. It's kind of crazy that he doesn't. He makes me feel like everything is my fault. Like I should be able to tell my body not to get pregnant so that "I" don't have to spend all of MY money on birth control. So when I try to get the cheapest method possible until I can pay off the hospital bill (that he is not even willing to pay a dollar towards) then he complains. I think he just always wants to complain no matter what.