unfeigned love

Tweet

dear all, i just want to share some painful and lesson of life for my friends here in mylot. it is all about the love of my life. i dont know was it right that i decided before but right now it cause me pain and anger with myself. he is my ex fiancee. we broken up because of a little silly things that cause slit up in our relationship. he doesnt trust me and wasnt understand me...at first i thought it just a cultural differences yet as time rolls by i cant bear anymore with emotional bullying that he does...such as talking and comparing me with his ex wife, talking about how he wants me to help him to find another girl just for fun,and said that he choose me coz im pretty and intelligent (makes me as his collateral for his good future), he critize all my actions and doesnt listen to me when i tried to suggest him how to deal with me....hmmmmmmmmm what a painful, yet i also experience with him the most happiest moment in my life...he said he tried to help me to improve myself, but does it mean that all his want i should follow? i had my own dreams and own ways how to make my dreams come true right? so much for that, heres the real problem now, because he said he is unhappy with his life with me, he asked me to find someone to replace me in his life, he told me that if i really love him i will do it, and i dont know what i want to try to portray i agree with his request...i introduce him with a friend from work which is also heartbroken by that time...he promise me that i am the only person he love and he will do anything for me, but as time goes by they got along well, left me in despair seeing how happy they are now...it hurts me more when both of them told me that they going to get married soon and invites me as the maid of honor at the wedding, guess what he said? "even if we didnt meant for each other be thankful still coz ur dreams to come to my wedding day will come true, sad is u will not be my bride", isnt it cruel? after 2 years in relationship and living together, thats all i deserve? wow, what a life....ok fine maybe dumb or stupid for letting that things happen, afterall this is all my fault trusting someone that will never leave me....and maybe this is the right things that ive done in my life...why should i stay in relationship when i shed tears all days when im with him....now im moving on,..i will resign from my job now and transper to other place...coz i cant bear to pretend im ok while im not...