Accountability

l am trying to bring some changes in my life. I am working on my plans. The only person l trust and want to involve in my plans is my younger brother as he obeys me, trusts me and share things with me.

I don't know... my parent's was always disappointed in me... so whenever I do something... at first they will cheer me up... but later on when there is no hope to the path I chose they got disappointed and say something does not cheer me up or encourage me... So I begin to be secretive in everything I plan and do to my life... but its hard because I don't get blessings from them... and its hard because no one is supporting me all the way. There is no friend who can support me through and through... but if you have any... that will be a privilege for you... I have only one back up... and there is God... but one thing I've learned is that God does not want me to closed door for those people who would love to support me like my sister, or other people that I can truly trust... Choose those people whom you can truly trust and of course trust God first. Thanks for opening up this discussion... somehow I can also release what I felt inside... it is very hard... because I chose a career that I don't know if I will really succeed. I just leave them to God.

I have never seek for support for the things I want to do. I mean if I want to make a change I just go do it and discuss it later. Besides I usually need to think things out And thn decide what to do. Once I decide I go for it. As I do it I usually get support but that is After I have started.

My husband is no help in that area.. he's always convincing me why it's okay to deviate from my plan! Not that he's purposely trying to sabotage my plan. His heart is in the right place, he just doesn't understand why it's important to me or why I don't work a certain way.. like if I'm dieting he'll say it's okay to have a couple cookies if I want them. He doesn't understand that those couple cookies is enough for me to throw the whole diet away and what I really need is to be talked out of eating the cookies! I don't really have anyone else to hold me accountable.. so I usually just ride on my own motivation.. which eventually gives out.

Hi there GreenMoo, With regard to your post, after what have happened between me and my family last May 2011, I never asked and coordinate any plans with my family. Due to the situation that they have showed to me I have decided not to divulge a detail regarding my plan. Though they can see it that I am working on that plan, still, I didn't choose to divulge in detail. And since they are not interested to hear what are my plans, so why I need to lay it out in-front of them. I guess, I should have face this on my own. Thus, I believed, God is with me on this journey.

I would tell them anyway, just for my own piece of mind. To get rid of any guilt of not telling them, or any after affects of not telling them. If you are aware of how they will react anyway, and you are aware that you will not receieve the type of support you wopuld possibly like, then I can't see any harm in telling them :)

in personal life accountability has its own importance. it may be good or bad. i try to keep balance, depend on the type of plan. one of the my known family never discloses their plans and keeps plan very secrete. most of ladies never keep their secret as secrete.

i would look for someone who's an optimist but also reasonable and lastly level headed. this way you can receive the best advice along the way. its always good to have some encouragement along the way. who wants to be around a negative person anyway.

This all depends on the changes I want to make in my life. If the changes are ones that I think I can handle on my own, then I try to make the most of them alone. If the changes seem to be immense and I feel uncertain that I can handle them, then I will share with friends and family. Sometimes sharing that accountability can be for the best.

I think it depends on what kind of plan they are.If you will involve your partner in your plan,you must tell him what you think about the plan in detail.Maybe you views aren't identical,but you can have a discussion about the plan.It is good for your plan due to drawing upon all useful opinions.

I guess it would have to be a sincere and genuine family member or close friend. I understand what you are saying. There are so many things that I would like to do or at least try but I don't feel comfortable telling other people. But if I have one close friend then I would talk to them about it. Or write it in my journal and look back at it overtime to see how I have done.

How much I might share my plans would depend upon my circumstances. Personally I would keep them to myself for a while until I had checked out myself if they stood a chance to be successful. If you share with people in order to get their support then I think your confidence is not strong enough to make changes in your life. Perhaps if you have a really close friend with whom you share and who shares with you then they might be a useful moral support. Whatever changes for the good that you are about to undertake I wish you every success.

If I plan to do something, I would turn to the very few people that I trust not because I want someone to be accountable to but just for the sake of discussing it. Wo knows they might be able to share something with me that will make my life easier. And sometimes, we need those words of encouragement and to know that we have some people who supports our endeavors no matter what.

accounting is hard

Any changes I make I always confide in my therapist, I am very fortunate in that I have had the same therapist since 2009 and she probably knows me better than I know myself, the change I am making is going back to work after a long stretch and she is helping me prepare and is very supportive. I am also fortunate in that I can confide in my mum but I tell my father nothing, the less he knows the better. Sometimes even telling your friends on Mylot about what changes you want to make can be just as meaningful as telling friends offline or even in your case your family! I know I do.

In your shoes, I would tell my husband/partner. In my shoes, I would tell no-one as the lack of support really takes the lustre off doing something important. I'm my own best friend these days.

Sometimes people close to our personal lives aren't the best to sahre with or help with accountability. That's why so many people turn to online support resources. Since you are obviously active here, maybe find an online support forum aimed at your particular life changes or goals?