Commitment is not easy
By imAbigael
@imAbigael (475)
Philippines
February 22, 2013 2:01am CST
My ex-boyfriend and I just talked last night, we discuss a few things to have clear mind to our relationship status. We've been on and off this passed 1 year almost, I'm done testing our relationship then he keep telling me that he likes me and love me and what so ever. But as what he speak was not really what I see from him. He keeps secrets and when I'm gone, I know what his doing in other sites, he talk allot to other girls and I don't want to imagine if his talking the same he talks to me. Maybe that's the reason why we broke up. I let him go but he choose to stay and keep searching for hope, he said he just want to glimpse of me even were not together anymore. So he didn't want me to delete him on my facebook.
So last night, I'm trying to chat to him calm and very cool. And then when the mood getting serious I said to him "Why don't you fall in love again?". He just said "Cant you see?". Its just like his telling me yes I'm in love with you. Then I said "no, with someone else..".
We ended up our conversation like were just friends, just goodnight and ok bye. I'm not surprised, today he change something on his facebook, picture of another girl. I'm very tired of this game, I knew it its a trap, just sweet words comes from his mouth but I know its not real.
Its so hard to find true love, a person who doesn't want you to be hurt even once. I'm glad I never believe in second chances. But if I do not to him anymore.
2 people like this
19 responses
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
22 Feb 13
True Commitment is easy when you are with the right guy. The hard part? Trying to find the right guy. But he is out there! A guy who will put you first, will love And respect you. Just don't close up your heart. Take some time to get over the ex, I mean Really over him and then start looking for him. Well, I mean go out and see what happens. Take care.
@imAbigael (475)
• Philippines
22 Feb 13
Yes, commitment for me is not easy because I always found the wrong guy. I will get over him Im trying and desperate hehehe well im on the rush too so if ever I found the one I swear I will love him forever.
1 person likes this
@Sarahliuliwen (300)
• China
22 Feb 13
I hate cheating or telling lies, especially when it comes to one's partner. So I think your relationship ends with you being friends is much better than enemies or "strangers", but you should be clear in mind that you cannot imagine continuing your relationship of being partners, and be rational and objective toward your relationship from now on. Get over him, and you deserve better.
@imAbigael (475)
• Philippines
22 Feb 13
WOW that was WOW, but if I was in your situation I also do the same you did, I hate it when men consider us just a reserved girls to them. I will punch him in the face if he said that to me then I will see he also has his ex ex girlfriends. Now I realize they are just trash garbage or watsoever to us. Yes they don't deserve us. I will get over him I swear, thank you so much. :)
@Sarahliuliwen (300)
• China
22 Feb 13
I also have an ex, and we only chat online once in a while. We are kind of friends, but very common friends. Once, after two+ years we broke up, he said "let's get married next year" OMG my heart beat fast for a while, but soon I cooled down, and reconsidered. That was impossible, for we didn't see each other for years and have different lives. So I rejected it, and he asked his ex-ex girl and was also rejected... Things mey be the same, but people change.
@rndistgg (109)
• United States
22 Feb 13
You're right...Commitment is NOT easy. NOT easy at all when you don't trust the person and they're sending you mixed signals and you have mixed emotions towards them. You don't know how to feel towards him and you can't tell how he really feels about you. It looks like it's purely games. Commitment is NOT easy when the other person is not willing to make you and your feelings their priority.
However, commitment with the right person and someone that cares about your feelings and is up front and honest with you is not hard at all. When you are both truly commited then actually BEING committed is not a hard thing to do.
From what I'm reading, it doesn't seem like either one of you are trying very hard for this relationship to work. You don't trust him in the least bit and he is being very controlling when it comes to keeping you on facebook so he can watch you. He's posting pictures and talking to other girls so he has moved on. He's doing the bare minimum so that he can keep you on a thin leash and pull you in whenever he wants to and you're letting him. You be in control of your life and don't let him be the puppet master. It may be frustrating and defeating when you keep coming across unworthy and disrespectful guys but the good ones will come along eventually.
@imAbigael (475)
• Philippines
23 Feb 13
Hopefully I can find the one someday, well I'm thinking of that having him being updated to be. It doesn't make any sense we really not ended up as friends because his acting bitter. But one day I'm looking forward we settle things down.
@luisadannointed (6308)
• Philippines
22 Feb 13
Hi! Normally I will tell people who have the same problem like yours to always give chance and benefit of the doubt... but the way you tell us how that guy treated you... I am very glad that you ended it.
I hope you won't fall for that guy in the coming days again... what if's will come one of this days but I hope you won't fall on his trap. You deserve a much better guy... And all of us who are destined to be married... we all have our Prince Charming created by God only for us!
If "what if's" comes along the way out of the blue don't entertain it... just prepare yourself for the perfect man... remember you attract who you are, so if you want a perfect and decent man someday make yourself the way you want your man to be.
And if "what if's" comes again and the man want to trap you with it.. and you kinda think maybe he will change in the future... then don't commit yourself right now but in the future when that man is trust worthy enough... but I'll support you to your last word... that if you do believe in second chances... you won't give it to him! hehehehe! Aja! You deserve better! You are a lovely girl with great value always remember that!
@imAbigael (475)
• Philippines
23 Feb 13
My mind is much more clearer than before, so better. First of all thank you for that wonderful advise, I totally agree with you and I wont fall to him again. I finally over come it when we thank and I feel nothing when he talk foolish things.
What I like is you guys supports me to be patient and take time for hoping someday I can find that true worthy man. :)
@smiling_ja (261)
• Philippines
22 Feb 13
They say that true love comes in most unexpectedly, you don't have to come looking for it, it just happens. We all have so many ideals, that's why maybe even if the person is already there, we keep on looking. Maybe this man is really not for you, so just let go of him, and coming from you, you know that he's not really sincere with his intentions and one way or another you know it. There are more fishes in the sea.
@imAbigael (475)
• Philippines
22 Feb 13
haha I love that there are more fishes in the sea. :)
Yes I knew it, but what annoys me allot was his not trying to let me go. He wants to keep me and stay with me somehow, like i'm a reserved girl to him? wtf right? But well thanks for the advise I really need it right now.
@extremefun4fun (2908)
• India
22 Feb 13
when you see a person is not reliable in realtionship then kick him out you will not be sorry for that even you should be glad of doing that. I wish I could know my husband before marriage well and that time I had chance to kick him out of my life but he came with same true lover act and was that much good in act that I believe him he is terribly in love with me after marriage, he suddenly show me his reality and stand up in front of my eyes and said now say? I have destroyed many girls life but the stupid one was you that now you are my wife and I see a lot of dirty things from him but force to be quiet and even no chances on divorce. I am too happy that you kick him out, you wisely choose your man for life otherwise it is so good to not marry and just having bf that anytime you see he is cheating then kick him out
@imAbigael (475)
• Philippines
22 Feb 13
I'm terribly sorry about yours, and I overwhelmed about your message thank you so much, as I can see yes I have and I will do that dear. It's an inspiration that you guys telling me and I think you know best because you already experienced this things.
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
23 Feb 13
I would stop hurting yourself. Stop talking to this twit. It's plainly obvious to me from the very start that he does not want to commit, because he hasn't tried to marry you.
There's a reason guys don't want to get married. It's real simple. It's because they don't want to be married to one girl.
Stop letting him hurt you. Get away from this guy. Don't talk to him anymore.
Stop hurting yourself.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
5 Mar 13
You know, I really don't think that there is a single person in the world that will never hurt us, even just once. I mean I love my husband with all of my heart, but I do know that there have been times that he has hurt me and there have been times that I have hurt him. What I really think is the most important thing in a relationship overall is that we are able to work through those times that we hurt one another and grow from those times then we have a relationship that is able to withstand the test of time.
@ARIES1973 (11426)
• Legaspi, Philippines
3 Mar 13
Hi Abigael!
If I would be on your situation, I would just let go of a person like him. He is not worth your time and effort. But of course if would be a different thing if you really still love him.
You can still find someone else better. Don't waste your time on people like him.
Have great day!
@coxjoseph5 (209)
• United States
24 Feb 13
He is iws advqNTAGFE a user and will use you or nay one elsE to his advantge, and he wants to get back in your bed again just to prove he can, if he does it will make him king and bolster his ego.
he is bad news, drop him and find a good man that respects you.
@Angelpink (4034)
• Philippines
23 Feb 13
Hello ! True commitment is never easy and the way i am seeing it , he was not committed to you ! He is just playing you with his beautiful words. You will see and know a committed man , his gestures will tell and not his words.Maybe he just wanted to collect and select, guard your heart with this kind of people. et him go out of your system . One best is waiting for you ! If God takes away one person in your life it is because He reserves the best man for you. Sail on friend !
@kokomo (1867)
• Philippines
24 Feb 13
Yeah, congratulations, at least you already had fed up with arguments and conflicts with your relationship. He doesn't deserve you. Just wait for the right one. I know it will come soon. I can say that I am lucky enough that I already found the one. I love my boyfriend because he was so very faithful with me even we are not together so often. I believe him and I trust him.
@akhaniemar (122)
• Philippines
27 Feb 13
Once you are committed with someone, you have to be honest with each other. Commitment is something that needs to be between two people who know what they are into. Well, he had to say what he mean and mean what he say. If there's a doubt already, then it's no use to stay committed.
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
23 Feb 13
Sounds to me like he's the kind of person that can't be by himself. Always jumping around from this girl here and that girl there all for the sake that he can't be alone.
I'm happy for you that you're finally rid of him!
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
22 Feb 13
At least you didn't fall for his trap. Don't get too affected by it. there are better guys than him that will love and respect you even more. He is not the one for you. Just move on and pray that the next guy is worth keeping.
@Raine38 (12389)
• United States
22 Feb 13
In a relationship, when in doubt, doubt. Believe more in what you see and feel rather than what he says. It is very easy for him to say a lot of beautiful things; maybe he's really used to doing and saying it. But unless he proves it and earned back your trust, you will be far off better without him. I know that moving on is not something that will happen overnight. BUt at least you find out sooner about his real attitude now than later when it might be even more difficult to let him go.
@LoKoMoMe (511)
• Belize
22 Feb 13
you right, it is hard to commit to someone you trust and that man feels nothing on you, especially your love one's or your boyfriend. it is hard to handle a relationship without the trust. that single word can broke the two of you.
so better to find someone that he is more interested on you.
it happens to me also before, therefore i get it exactly
@danix1982 (593)
• Philippines
22 Feb 13
maybe he is not the best guy for you, God has a plan for you and everything happens for a reason.
