Too much love kills
By Aja103654
@Aja103654 (5644)
Philippines
February 22, 2013 10:36pm CST
Is there something wrong with me if I say that I find it annoying that people can love so much without using their heads?
I know it is a noble to thing to love someone with all their hearts and that they would be willing to die for that person. But I see this as stupidity if they declare this kind of love to people who don't give a $hit about them.
People don't need to lose their dignity for the sake of 'love'
Actually people need their dignity to find true love. that is self-love.
Without self-love, I doubt anyone would find a suitable partner who will love them whole-heartedly.
So I am tired of hearing people begging awful partners to stay, being afraid of being a lone, people who lose faith in love, people who have fallen in love with jerks before but don't seem to learn and fall in love with someone else who is also a jerk then turns hate everyone of the opposite for their pathetic past experiences and choices. I am tired of hearing about heart breaks and broken relationships. I am tired of abusive partners and irresponsible people who don't care for their children and for themselves. I am tired of people who are looking for love but then rejects the first opportunity to find that. I am tired of it all. Just sick of it!
2 people like this
10 responses
@yugocean (9963)
• India
24 Feb 13
Such people do exit, they do everything to setisfy their partner whom they truely love even if they don't get love from them; but you are not wrong, this is awful for someone to love somebody who do not love them.
True love can never be one sided, heart breaking people are not something to be loved, they need to be thrown out of life. Love is where heart is true, it is said -
“Love conquers all"
losing for others is not love, it is just loss of mindset. Somebody is not your true love if it doesn't truly loves you, true love is based on hearts.
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
24 Feb 13
A love like that is very difficult. I ,for one, am not that selfless to put up with someone who doesn't give a dang about me. I am both amazed and depressed to see people in this kind of situation.
I agree with you. One sided love is not good. Everyone deserves to be loved back. But that, sadly, is not always the case. People should also be brave to let go of people who don't love them. If they loved them, they would set them free. By doing that, they are doing their selves a favor, to find another love that would be much greater, and this time, it is given back.
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
27 Feb 13
They need help. But even when they do get good advise they still keep on holding to that person.
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
23 Feb 13
Hi!
It is said that excess of everything is bad. Like-wise if one always keeps thinking about one's lover and love and become obsessed in it, it could be troublesome.
Everything is needed to balanced, else heart breaks are likely to happen.
It is difficult to quantify or measure love with a specific scale, it is one's emotions which guide him or her about love. If one is too emotional s/he gets carried away by emotions and if something unfavourable happens, s/he just can not simply bear it.
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
24 Feb 13
Yes, balance needed to be maintained, else things could be hay wire.
Don't eat too much french fries, it will lead to fatness and diseases.
Yes, one should how to love oneself. If one does not know how to oneself, s/he just can not love others.
Do you love yourself?
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
24 Feb 13
Read - Yes, one should know how to love oneself. If one does not know how to love oneself, s/he just can not love others.
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
24 Feb 13
Very well said, deepak! Balance is important in everything! If everything is done in excess, it will end badly! Like eating too much french fries will make us obese and prone to heart disease!
If I were a guy, I wouldn't want a dependent, needy and highly emotional girl. I have mixed feelings about those kind of women, like I feel sorry for them and at the same time I find them extremely annoying.
Thank you for the response. It is true that love can't be measured. It is highly subjective. I think heart breaks are inevitable in life, but its intensity can be lessened if we know how to love ourselves and if we acknowledge such a tragic experience to be something that can make us stronger and better people.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
27 Feb 13
It's interesting what you said when you commented on responder number 2.
Some modern psychologists work on the theory that our psyches have a parent, an adult and a child within us.
My parent is how I was raised and how I was taught to think and act which is in fact all screwed. My adult is who I am now and my child is me when I was about 5. It's a very interesting concept.
I think self love is begun by our parents, they instil in us the belief that we are loveable. If we don't get this from our parents in early life then there is a constant struggle within us.
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
27 Feb 13
Ah, I think you are referring to the super ego, ego and id. I forgot what they are exactly, but I think they represent the child, parent and adult in us.
That's true. If we don't experience love or don't get enough of it, we tend to become psychos.
LOL, absence of love also kills. No argument there. There are a lot of things that can kill humans. Living as a human is hard. The process of killing a human is fast, simple and easy. There are numerous ways to do it.
@Professor2010 (20162)
• India
25 Mar 13
Remember too much of any thing is bad, it is true for love also.
We must maintain our dignity.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
25 Feb 13
I understand what you mean. And I am guilty for being one heck of a stupid person for loving too much. But you see, the effect of love on every individual is not the same. Some would just be fine with a kind of relationship that seems to be not really wanting to be "too close', while other would want to be almost always be together spending every minute of the day. Each individual has different kind of personalities that deals with the situation that could be a big question mark on others.
I have been terribly in love with a person years back. And I knew from the start that it was bound to end before it really started. I knew it wasn't a wise move of committing myself to the person, but i did. I loved him with all my heart that I had reach the point of turning away from everything just to be with him. It pained me so much when I left him coz I knew that we had the right kind of love but it was not at the perfect time. It was hard to let go of it, but eventually, I have learned to move on.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
26 Feb 13
That is so true! I should have smashed my head hard on the fall the instant i felt that I was losing logic with all the things that had been happening.
Anyway, it is all in the past and I am just glad that I was able to get my life back.
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
27 Feb 13
What's important is we learn our lesson from such experiences. I have almost given everything to someone. Good thing that I was able to realize what I was doing.
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
26 Feb 13
Loving too much, it's up for each individual on how they deal with that. I don't really find it all that bad as long as they keep their dignity and not bother any other person because of it.
Wow, that love is intense. I think it is bad to leave everything else for one thing. It is impractical. Although, when in love, the heart can be so dominant that reason escapes us. It is wiser to keep ourselves and our lives while loving someone. While it is true that we have to make some sacrifices, we don't have to give up everything for the sake of love.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
23 Feb 13
It's true too much love kills unless we use our heads. We all gotta learn that we must use our head first. But there were times hearts are stronger than our head. We need to learn how to control our emotions for us to be able not to get hurt much by the other. When we love, normally it is our heart first that dictates what we feel. Then comes the mind. It is up to us which of these two we must listen to.
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
24 Feb 13
That is true. It's sad that most people abandon reason for love. I think one should never abandon reason for anything. Intense romantic feelings may work out in movies but usually in real life it does not.
I think the heart and mind can agree sometimes though most of the time they are in conflict. I hate how the heart dictates the body, the heart is like a love-sick pathetic undignified naive and stupid little girl while the head is a cold, calculating and brutal adult woman.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
24 Feb 13
the heart is like a love-sick pathetic undignified naive and stupid little girl while the head is a cold, calculating and brutal adult woman.
You've described both the heart and mind perfectly!
1 person likes this
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
24 Feb 13
LOL, I love those lines.
I have always imagined the heart and mind that way. The mind often lectures and scolds the heart coldly. If they exist in one body, imagine the inner turmoil. It can make someone crazy.
@asliah (11137)
• Philippines
23 Mar 13
that is true that most of the people love someone without using of their minds,they always used their heart so they usually never see the wrong one,actually even me in my past love life,i was like that until i learned a lot from my previous relationship.
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
26 Mar 13
I didn't use my mind when I fell in love with my ex. Obviously, he flirts with other girls behind my back. I didn't have a clue. I forgave him when he told me about his, but it really bothered me later on because I have a feeling he will even betray me more in the future. So I decided to break up with him. We haven't even broken up properly, he immediately went for another girl and lied to me about it. that's when I saw his real color. I dumped him for good. At least now, he can go chase girls without me stopping him and I won't waste my time and feelings on him anymore.
That is why, loving with our mind is also important.
@Angelpink (4034)
• Philippines
23 Feb 13
Hi Aja ! This is just showing the reality. Love sometimes are being begged ! Not all things that we wanted can be given to us and not all good things can be ours too. Lucky are those people who don't work on for love , shall we say those who don't begged for it because there are some who almost die just to have a little of it but still left not given . It is never easy to be there , but the beautiful thing there is despite of everything , the person still survives and this teaches a lesson that we must not give our 100% love but always leave a small percentage to yourself so whatever will happen , you can still start a new and continue your journey .
@randomarts09 (1405)
• Indonesia
28 Feb 13
Well in this real world, it’s not practical to give the selfless love, a person need some self-love as well or she/he won’t survive in this cruel world. Sometimes there are partners who are abusive and exploiting their selfless partner. It’s something that shouldn’t be allowed in my opinion. Although love is something which is very subjective and it’s hard to say which one is more right.
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
2 Mar 13
Self less love? I think that is God-like and Jesus-like. It is an honorable kind of love but too risky, too.
That's right. In the real world, in order to survive, we have to love ourselves and take care of ourselves.
No matter what kind of love it is, i think the important thing is that it is returned in kind and not abused.
@akhaniemar (122)
• Philippines
28 Feb 13
So true That's why we need to love in moderation. Anything in excess is bad for us. We need to learn to leave something for ourselves or else we'll regret it later. Well, I learned from my mistake. Though I'm suffering now the consequences, I still believe love will still find me one day and me kind to me after all that I've been through.
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
2 Mar 13
That's true. It's a lesson that we really need to learn and it can be effectively taught through hard experiences.