Who's your favorite? asked the child

People may get made about this, but I feel that in some circumstances, honesty ISN'T the best policy. Perhaps there are different levels of honesty. For example, some feel that they need to be "completely honest" with their children and tell them that their is no Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, ect. In my opinion, this takes away from the child's life. Fantasies like Santa are exciting for children and can help them to be more imaginative. My stepson-in-law didn't celebrate Christmas for many years when his children were very young. There were no gifts or a tree and he using the Bible to justify it. The real reason is that he wanted to spend the money on himself. His family didn't celebrate Christmas and times were tough economically but he still had the money to get himself things a new motorcycle helmet, even though there wasn't anything wrong with the ones that he had. Children need to be able to experience the fantasies, like Santa, Unicorns and unbiased love. It is wrong for any adult to try one child or grandchild, nephew, niece, ect. differently because you like them better than the others. My wife had three children who were legally "adults", they weren't my kids, but I enjoyed having 14 grandchildren, and I tried to treat each of them equally. In one of the Star Wars movies, Luke asked Obi-Wan why he didn't tell him the TRUTH about Darth Vader being his father. Obi-Wan replied, I've forgotten the exact words, but the truth was subject to different "points of view".

having favorites is sometimes inevitable for parents, grandparents, and well.. everyone. But if parents should definitely try their best to love all of their children equally since it might be one of the reasons the children may quarrel

My kids asked this to me. They try to guest who my favorites were. I looked at them and told them I love each of my children. That each child has a special quality that the other doesn't have.

It sounds as if this kind of person would be making it obvious which child she was most fond of without voicing it. How sad, My answer would always be I love them all the same, for who they are.

You have just resurrected a sixty something year old memory. My parents had a disastrous marriage and I remember when I was about 4 years old. My father came home and my m other put me on her lap and looking slyly at my father she asked me whom did I love best - Mummy or Daddy. I can still experience my conflict and then I said that I loved them both the same. I felt relief because I said the right thing. A terrible place to put a child - between parents. As a grandmother of 8, I can state that there are special memories and love with each child and yes, the first grand does hold a special place but all are equally loved. I would have said that I loved them all the same - and meant it!

I agree, that was not a good idea to answer that honestly. And I am not into having favorites myself, though I know it happens in families, mine too no exception. I hope that she did not feel slighted the child.

I believe my mother's mother was magic, because I think she was able to make each of us feel we were her favorite. She just loved kids. She was orphaned at about seven years old. I would never have dreamed to ask any of my family that question, maybe I would be afraid to be told the hard truth.

I'd definitely answer ALL, as your father-in-law did, especially when the children are there. I am not a grandmother yet, just a mother to two young children. I do not wish my parents or parents-in-law to pick a favorite, and I don't think it's a good question to ask too.

Anyone who answers the question by naming a favorite is not a mature person. And there's not much you can do about that.

Indeed, that's cruel to tell a child that someone is favored over him or her. One should always tell their children that they are all equally loved and no one is better than the other.

Aww - that would kinda stab me in the heart if I didn't hear that I was part of the favorite list. I would have definitely answered that I loved them ALL too - that would be a much kinder answer, especially for a child.

The answer shouldn't be like that,the child might get hurt.As for me,no one is my favorite because I do love my kids equally.

I would have told that child that each one is special to me. I love them all the same for that reason.

Reason number 9,593 I am glad I realized when I was very young that I didn't want/shouldn't have children--so I wouldn't be faced with questions like that!

I think that is mean to say. I would have said that I don't have a favorite and I love all of them just the same. I don't think I could choose one of my kids to be my favorite.