Friendships and ex-partners
By Porcospino
@Porcospino (31366)
Denmark
September 8, 2015 8:39am CST
Before I met my husband I had 3 long term relationships. One of them wanted to be friends after we broke up. He called me some time after we broke up, and he asked me if I had a new boyfriend and I said yes. He told me that he had a new girlfriend and then he said: ”Let's meet one day” I asked him what he meant and then he said: ”I mean you and me, your new boyfriend and my new girlfriend. The four of us can be friends, why not?”
I told my new boyfriend what my ex had said and he told told me that he didn't want to participate in that kind of meeting. My ex's new girlfriend reacted the same way, we never actually met.
Do you think that kind of friendship could work out? Are you friends with any of your exes? Are you also friends with their new partners?
5 people like this
5 responses
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
8 Sep 15
I do not come from such an open ended society. So my thoughts and opinions may be biased. I never had an ex and so answering this is complicated. But from what I have seen in this small part of the world -
In the long run, it is difficult to keep the friendship (with ex and his/her current) going. Because the ex was close to you, there are chances when either or both of you (you and ex) may take things for granted - as you two were real close some day. You also stand a chance to show your weaker side to your ex and that might spoil things at your or his/her end - which definitely would not be healthy.
However, the modern outlook is more lenient and there are cases (yet unproven) of how good or bad this new friendship will be.
2 people like this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
8 Sep 15
I have never tried to be friends with an ex and the ex's new partner, but I also think that a friendship between you, your ex and the new partners can be difficult. Your ex-partner and you have something together that the other two aren't part of. The new partners could get jealous, but of course there are individual differences. My husband and I are not friends with my exes or his exes.
1 person likes this
@owstalaga (4707)
• Philippines
8 Sep 15
Well if the break up was good it is possible but there's always the jealousy that will come up from the current partner.
If it was a bad break up then of course it's not something that anyone should even consider! 
1 person likes this
@owstalaga (4707)
• Philippines
8 Sep 15
@thesids Well when you break up in good terms, like you talked about the issue of the break up and all that. Mutual agreement to break up. Some people are able to do that. 
2 people like this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
8 Sep 15
The jealousy from the current partner could become a problem. The ex-partners know eachother really well, and the new partner might feel left out. That could also affect the friendship. Yes, if it is a bad break up we wouldn't consider that kind of friendship I had of those break ups, and we definately aren't friends today.
I had of those break ups, and we definately aren't friends today.1 person likes this
There must be some differences at least that triggered the breakup.
@sunnypub (2128)
• United States
9 Sep 15
I have three serious exs and I am friends with 2 of them. The two I am still friends with were friends before we crossed that line so after breaking up there was some time to let go of the romantic part of our relationship and what was left was the friendship that we had in the beginning. I suppose it really depends on the people and the situation.
@loki1982 (780)
• Dallas, Texas
8 Sep 15
I don't think there is a correct answer. I have one ex that there is no way we could ever be friends and neither of us would ever want to be. I have another ex that we remained friends because I was friends with her brother. My wife trusted me enough that I actually go out to a comedy club with my friend, his wife and my ex. So it all depends on your situation.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
8 Sep 15
It depends on the situation, that is true. One of my exes and I tried to be friends after we broke up, but it didn't work out, because he wanted us to become a couple again, and I didn't want that.
@TiarasOceanView (70022)
• United States
9 Sep 15
I am friends with no one of exes. They are all good for nothing.
