When "outgoing" isn't really you

I don't mind socializing either, although I don't like to draw attention to myself. I can even get along well with people I've just met, but like you I also prefer not to talk much if I don't have interesting things to say.

I totally agree. I think some people try too hard to wear a personality that they think would be pleasing to others. I believe that being yourself is much better.

@cahaya1983 and a lot easier!

@cahaya1983 Sometimes only people in similar situation can feel this. I'm glad to find I'm not the only one

Very true. People have different characters and personalities - that's a fact. I agree with you, being shy and quiet doesn't mean we don't like socializing and making conversation with others. Just as extroverts feel comfortable being themselves, introverts should feel the same.

@redvakaurvaki Oh trust me there are many like that, we could probably form our own country, haha. But a whole country of introverts...hmm maybe that's not such a good idea.

@cahaya1983 I tend to be quite dry, deadpan and sardonic in my delivery on the air or with a live audience

@arthurchappell Does it have to do with the theme of the show though? Or you're like that in general.

That's interesting. My grand uncle was a radio presenter, he's a jovial and outgoing guy pretty much all the time. I've always assumed that it's just the nature of people working in that field, but apparently that's not true for everyone.

It's easy to mistake someone who is shy and reserved as unfriendly and not caring. Don't worry, do your best and just be there when they need you. Eventually they would understand that you really do care for them.

I think so too. I'm tired of seeing people forcing themselves to fit in the crowd. Even more sad when people consider those who are shy and quiet as unfriendly and anti-social. That's so not true.

@cahaya1983 folks tend to get into lots 'f predicaments tryin' to fit in. some e'en get depressed when their efforts don't come to fruition. they'd be best off jest bein' 'emselves 'n findin' their own self-worth. quiet folks 're typically deep thinkers 'n quite compassionate, my findin' 't least. those others're jest loud 'n attention seekin', which's unnervin' 't best.

That seems to be the expectation in the workplace and I understand why. But I think people should also accept diverse personalities at the workplace and not label people who are quiet as not approachable or anti-social. I agree with you, it's impossible to please everyone. I'm more comfortable being myself.

Yes I also think the surroundings have an influence on our character, somehow. I'm generally quite shy, but you could never tell that I'm an introvert if I'm among family members and friends, sometimes.

So I guess you're an ambivert then. I've never taken any such test but I'm pretty sure there are certain extrovert characteristics in me, although that would depend a lot on who I'm with. As for being the center of attention, I've never liked it and it always makes me feel uncomfortable.

Yes I believe our surroundings might have an influence too, to a certain extent. I'm more open and talkative around family and close friends, for sure.

That's true. I'm an introvert and I'm more comfortable speaking up when I'm with family and friends.

@cahaya1983 I guess so . The older I get, the bolder I get. I think that just comes with age.

It change, yes. I know people who were very, very shy but are now more bold and outspoken. So I guess you're an ambivert, then.

I also think that the reason why people mask their feelings now a days is because people force them to be outgoing. They don't want what's fake yet they say fake it till you make it. (Again,weird logic,) I don't follow society norms because they are ANNNOYYYING!!! For example, if a person had low self-esteem, disability, or mental illness some people limit their social interaction with them due to them not fulfilling the so-called standards of "normality." First off, a person's low self-esteem is awesome cause it's low like a pool. Just like how you would still get in a pool with low water level to cool off, low self-esteem people are still useful and a person's sensitivity is cool cause they are not afraid to show their big heart! It's low not burnt-out! Second off, disability. The word means "DON'T DISS MY ABILITY!" Third off, mental illness? Yeah, unique mentality to this carbon copy of normality. (Lol. Get it. Cause normality rhymes with mentality.) There are a lot of society norms I've heard and there's not one I like. Here's a list of the one's I've heard: 1. If your skinny, your anorexic 2. If you thick, your obese 3. If you quiet, your rude 4. If your friendly, your fake 5. If your sad, your attention seeking 6. If your angry, your gonna kill someone and are gonna be inconsiderate. People should recognize that you only know their names not their story and just because you can't relate to it doesn't mean you can't try to relate to it. Society norms are stupid. I'll follow my own personality norms. ^_^

Nice input! Come to think of it, I think the problem has less to do with someone being an introvert or extrovert or ambivert. I think it's more about people being judgmental just because we exhibit a certain type of personality or behave a certain way around others. I understand your point about "choosing yourself", and people often mistake that for selfishness which in my opinion is just not true. Social norms are very subjective, too. There's more than one right way to behave, and we can't possibly please everyone so I'd rather do what I'm comfortable with. I wish people would just learn to embrace differences and be happy. Thanks so much for sharing!

I don't know if it can change over time, but I know I've always been an introvert since I was in kindergarten.

My sentiments exactly. I'm just tired of people who think that you have to be extroverted to be cool. I've no desire to be famous either.

I agree. We should feel comfortable in our own skin.

I think that's one of the keys to being happy - stop thinking about what others would think of us.

Totally agree! No point in putting on a mask and trying to be someone you're not.

Aw, thanks Alan! I'm not a fan of crowds myself, and yeah I try to avoid going to parties.