Would You Go On Vacation With Your Ex?
By BigDreamer
@kellyr634 (416)
United States
November 5, 2015 2:30pm CST
My husband and I divorced a year ago.
We have a 19 year old and a 4 year old together and have been co parenting ever sense.
We have decided to take our 4 year old on a vacation together.
It will be her first vacation and think that she would enjoy it more with both of us there.
We are getting separate rooms, and will split the cost of everything that we do with our daughter.
Well, when I told my friends and family our plans they looked at me like I was crazy and couldn't believe that I would go on vacation with my ex.
I have tried explaining that it's not the two of us vacationing together, but the two of us taking our daughter on a vacation.
Is this really such a bizarre thing? Would you go on a vacation with your ex for your children?
18 people like this
25 responses
@kellyr634 (416)
• United States
6 Nov 15
That was what one of my friends said also, and one of the things that we have to take in to consideration.
1 person likes this
@MakingCents (743)
•
6 Nov 15
For my children. Yes. Anything. My parents divorced when I was 11. Over the years we took a few vacations together here and there. They were to things that were important, events in our lives that BOTH parents would have waned to be a part of. Rather than making us choose who got to come, they put their differences aside and both came. I always tell people, divorce sucks, but my parents did the whole divorced parent thing right.
1 person likes this
@kellyr634 (416)
• United States
6 Nov 15
That is great!
I am glad that your parents put you first.
My parents are divorced and they did it WRONG! I want to make sure my kids don't have to go through that.
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
• Canada
6 Nov 15
I don't think it's "bizarre"... just unusual :) As others have said, a lot is determined by how the divorce went and how your relationship has been since that time. It's been a year? For some folks, that would not be enough time to be able to travel and watch their ex interacting with new people, for example. Might be a little to raw. However, it sounds like you have been civil and coparenting your child in a productive way. Good for you for wanting to do something fun with her! Just be sure to set up all your guidelines ahead of time in terms of who will be responsible for your daughter when you aren't doing joint activities and such. Best to work out all the scenarios ahead of time to limit any tensions in the moment.
1 person likes this
@ellie26 (4139)
• Malaysia
6 Nov 15
I think if divorced couples are still in talking terms or friends, I don't see any reasons why divorced couples couldn't go vacation together. After all, going together for a vacation as parents for your daughter is not only good for your child, but it is a mature act. Friends and family may think it is not appropriate but the decision will still be yours.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
5 Nov 15
I don't personally think that I could go on vacation with my ex. At least not yet. However, I think a lot of that depends on each person's unique situations and being as how my relationship was dysfunctional and abusive makes a lot of the functionality of it impossible for me.
However, I think that it is great that your ex and yourself are able to make it work for you. Your little one truly is blessed.
@kellyr634 (416)
• United States
6 Nov 15
Our marriage was not abusive, if it was there would not even be a chance.
@antonbunot (11093)
• Calgary, Alberta
5 Nov 15
If I were you, I don't do it. But if you believe it would make your 4-year-old daughter happy, it is up to you. But don't trust so much your ex. 
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160696)
• United States
5 Nov 15
I applaud you for being a great adult, and your ex as well. As long as you both follow the guidelines you set for yourselves it sounds good for me. Just because you are divorced does not mean you are no longer a parent. Does the 19 year old not want to go along?
@kellyr634 (416)
• United States
5 Nov 15
No she doesn't want to go.
She's moved out on her own and doesn't want to miss work.
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
30 Nov 15
i think if is ok with you and your ex then is only your opinion that matters the problem is that even if you get separate rooms your child can imagine that maybe you and your ex might come back to each other. children see things differently than us.
the problem is that even if you get separate rooms your child can imagine that maybe you and your ex might come back to each other. children see things differently than us.
@gr8nana6 (6614)
• Conyers, Georgia
10 Jun 16
You betcha I would, there's nothing wrong with being there for your child. Doesn't mean you're back together, but you're getting along with each other and that is good for the kids.
@Auntylou (4264)
• Oxford, England
7 Nov 15
I have no ex so far, but think you are probably doing the right thing to stay on reasonable terms.
Just hope your daughter does not assume you are getting back together
@youless (112496)
• Guangzhou, China
6 Nov 15
At first I think it is weird. But after I read your whole discussion, I can understand it. I think it is reasonable to have a travel with your ex-husband and two children. Everything will be different with children. Even if you are divorced, but it is better to maintain a family for the sake of children. They will be happier to have a travel with parents. Don't care about what others think about it, just do it! Enjoy your journey!
@arthurchappell (44998)
• Preston, England
6 Nov 15
I'm glad I'm not in a position to make that choice - the children might be upset if both parents don't take the holiday or by the tension between them if they do both go so there is no easy answer without knowing the couple involved
@41CombedaleRoad (5952)
• Greece
6 Nov 15
I think I probably would, but maybe not after so short an interval as a year. Feelings might still prove a little raw. As far as I can judge the only problem might arise if one of you wanted to try again after a very successful and happy family holiday, and the other did not.
@sherryeb (580)
• Duncan, Arizona
6 Nov 15
I really do not see a problem with going on vacation with your ex to put on a united front with your children. I think it is hard on children when they see divorced parents fighting or putting them in the middle of their disputes.
@JudyEv (340210)
• Rockingham, Australia
6 Nov 15
I admire you both for being mature enough to do this. I hope you all enjoy your time together.
