Why is everyone so eager to sell me a coffin?
By Koalemos
@Asylum (47893)
Manchester, England
November 12, 2015 4:51am CST
We all get those annoying tele sales calls from companies trying to persuade us to change our electricity supply or television package etcetera. Many of them are commonplace and several different companies constantly telephone offering similar products.
Over the last few months I have been increasingly pestered by people offering Funeral plans, the ones for which you would pay a regular monthly fee in order to have a payment for relatives to offset the cost of funerals.
I can only assume that my contact details have been circulated along with my age, making me a tempting target. It is bad enough having the Grim Reaper looking over my shoulder without the constant telephone reminders. At this rate I am likely to become quite paranoid.
20 people like this
11 responses
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
12 Nov 15
They are not concerned about my feelings, just my money.
I am well aware of my and my mortality and do not need a constant stream of telesales people reminding me. There has also been a marked increase in the amount of junk mail that I have received for Will writing services in recent months.
4 people like this
@djgarner86 (289)
• Exeter, England
12 Nov 15
Oh that's a shame :( I notice you are in Manchester - can you sign up as EX directory / change your number? You might also be able to sign up to a TPS (Telephone Preference Service) who can regular sales calls.
3 people like this
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
12 Nov 15
I have considered such things in the past, but never got round to doing so. In reality it may not make much difference. The fact that I am receiving these calls suggests that my telephone number has been circulated along with my age, thus making me a prime target for such telesales.
With my luck even dying would not put a stop to such nuisance calls. They would probably begin ringing me in the afterlife offering me the opportunity to return as a Zombie or Vampire.
4 people like this
@djgarner86 (289)
• Exeter, England
12 Nov 15
@Asylum Ah I see what you mean. Change of phone number is probably your best chance then. It is a shame you are getting so many nuisance calls. I would pick the phone up and just leave it on the side - see how long they stay connected for.
1 person likes this
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
12 Nov 15
@djgarner86 I have done that a few times, but many nuisance calls these days tend to be recorded messages.
I even had the telephone linked to my printer for a while and set it to answer as an incoming fax after 6 rings. Despite some people calling and encountering the screech of a fax machine several times, they still persevered and called again.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (168112)
• Boise, Idaho
12 Nov 15
We do? I don't recall ever receiving such a call. Emails yes, calls no. I set people calling straight away and I don't get return calls. How this contact info has been supplied to these people is beyond me. I do know that some companies actually buy lists of contact information.
2 people like this
@marguicha (223720)
• Chile
12 Nov 15
Same here, dear friend!
They follow me when I go to the hospital and even call at my home. They are pestering in the same way that they use my phone number to try to sell me new cellphone plans.
I know that I look older than when I was 25, but I don´t yet have that "dying look" JEEEZZZ!!!
They follow me when I go to the hospital and even call at my home. They are pestering in the same way that they use my phone number to try to sell me new cellphone plans.
I know that I look older than when I was 25, but I don´t yet have that "dying look" JEEEZZZ!!!1 person likes this
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
13 Nov 15
@marguicha It would be rather risky simply disposing of a body in that way because they would be liable to be prosecuted for littering.
1 person likes this
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
13 Nov 15
@Asylum Yes I saw that. I finally started to answer the phone when they did this one. A person asked me about being my mother. I told them sorry you are too late she has been burned and her ashes spread about. Try bugging someone else. Finally her name was removed from most of the lists and they stopped calling. From now on if they do call tell them you have been burned and don't need it.
@mrsg1981 (133)
• Exeter, England
12 Nov 15
I have to admit, I have never had the "pleasure" of being offered a coffin to buy. I am not sure it would be too high on my list of things I would like to take a call about. That said, our home phone is only here for emergencies, and I do tend to avoid taking any calls like the plague unless its a number I recognise.
2 people like this
@Orson_Kart (6827)
• United Kingdom
13 Nov 15
It's not the cough that carries you off, it's the coffin they carry you off in. 
Did you see The Moaning of Life where Karl Pilkington chose the design of his own coffin. I forget where it was, but he chose one to look like a twix and got it shipped back over to the UK. I think it was for two people (like the two twix bars) for him and his girlfriend.
Nice souvenir to take back to his girlfriend. I wonder what she thought of that! 
Did you see The Moaning of Life where Karl Pilkington chose the design of his own coffin. I forget where it was, but he chose one to look like a twix and got it shipped back over to the UK. I think it was for two people (like the two twix bars) for him and his girlfriend.
Nice souvenir to take back to his girlfriend. I wonder what she thought of that! 
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
13 Nov 15
It's not paranoid if it is really happening.. You did spell my name right B-E-L-L-E-S-T-A-R-R
we don't want any mix up!! OH just a warning I will abscond with the money and you will never be interred but you won't mind!! lol I love morbid humor!!
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
14 Nov 15
@Asylum Well I would hope you would be the recipient of their's and have one hell of a fun day!!
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
13 Nov 15
@JudyEv There were many complaints recently about the practices employed by charities in England to raise funds. Many resorted to having representatives in the streets stopping passers by and even telesales teams. It would have been acceptable if they simply asked fro donations, but the idea was to persuade people to commit to a regular monthly commitment.
