Things not to ask Google

@Rollo1 (16679)
Boston, Massachusetts
November 19, 2015 5:30am CST
I am still waiting for my coffee to be finished brewing. I really need that coffee. I mean, I really need that coffee. So I asked Google "When will my coffee be done?' After all, I once asked Google "what should we have for dinner?" and it knew. But not only didn't Google know when my coffee will be done, the answers it came up with ranged from rude to horrifying. The first result was an article called "Why I don't want to have coffee with you". Then there were stories of coffee and breastfeeding and coffee's effects on conception and questions about coffee. So many questions. There was even a link to a site that explains how to prepare a coffee enema. I really wish I hadn't asked. But now I hear gurgling in the pot, and coffee is done. I should have just timed it instead of asking Google. Because tomorrow I will still need to know how long it takes to brew my coffee. But I will never ask Google again.
39 people like this
20 responses
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
19 Nov 15
I must admit that I much prefer my coffee taken in the conventional orifice.
4 people like this
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
19 Nov 15
@Rollo1 Even my passion for coffee falls short of an enema.
1 person likes this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
19 Nov 15
I think we have a consensus on that. There are those, though, who are considering intravenous coffee.
2 people like this
• United States
19 Nov 15
@Rollo1 I'm on the IV coffee list
1 person likes this
@Fleura (30539)
• United Kingdom
19 Nov 15
Just make sure you take your coffee via the usual orifice!
4 people like this
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
19 Nov 15
That comment actually made me spurt coffee. From which orifice? You'll have to guess!!
2 people like this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
19 Nov 15
Trust me, I couldn't even attempt anything more complicated that sipping from a mug this early in the morning. The enema idea doesn't sound like an efficient caffeine delivery system, anyway.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (30539)
• United Kingdom
19 Nov 15
@Rollo1 I believe the colon wall is actually very good at absorbing certain substances, but I've never tried.
@kevin1877uk (36988)
19 Nov 15
Lol your coffee will be ready in a few minute, let me get you a coffee.
1 person likes this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
19 Nov 15
Coffee is such an essential part of morning.
1 person likes this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
19 Nov 15
@Rollo1 I totally agree, I can't do anything without coffee lol.
1 person likes this
@valmnz (17097)
• New Zealand
19 Nov 15
Ha, ha, thanks for the chuckle to start my day
1 person likes this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
19 Nov 15
I hope you also had coffee.
1 person likes this
@valmnz (17097)
• New Zealand
19 Nov 15
@Rollo1 of course and now I'm having another that I got from the coffee cart on the way home
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Nov 15
Thanks for leaving that thought in my brain.
1 person likes this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
19 Nov 15
Better in your brain than, ummm.... never mind.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Nov 15
@Rollo1 Ugh!!!! Now I have to bang my head against the wall a few times..
@pgntwo (22408)
• Derry, Northern Ireland
19 Nov 15
I always thought that amazing things could be done with coffee... another illusion shattered!
1 person likes this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
19 Nov 15
Apparently, you can do amazing things with coffee. it's just that you won't want to do some of them.
1 person likes this
@pgntwo (22408)
• Derry, Northern Ireland
19 Nov 15
@Rollo1 A bit like lerts, the world needs more mazings: Be a mazing!
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (168171)
• Boise, Idaho
20 Nov 15
I think there is some dark humor in that some where.
@Orson_Kart (6827)
• United Kingdom
19 Nov 15
I have tried asking Siri on my ipad but because of my accent it misinterprets the words I am saying and I get something completely unrelated to my questions. I have given up.
1 person likes this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
19 Nov 15
I really don't enjoy talking to my tablet. It never understands. But I am getting better at interpreting the things other people's tablets type out at me.
@DWDavis (25805)
• United States
19 Nov 15
I will be blaming you if I have nightmares tonight about getting a hot coffee enema.
@marlina (154131)
• Canada
19 Nov 15
You sure have a way to make me laugh!
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
19 Nov 15
Very whimsical, I loved this.
@PainsOnSlate (21852)
• Canada
19 Nov 15
Thanks for the laugh. I've never thought to ask a silly question but now i might do it just for a post!
1 person likes this
@cacay1 (83577)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
19 Nov 15
He, he, nice adventure on the waiting of the coffee...lots of lol,
1 person likes this
@dorianna (509)
• United States
19 Nov 15
I generally put my coffee on and while it is brewing ran to the bath for all the necessities so the coffee is done when I come back. I promise I don't take a coffee enema tho..lol
@GardenGerty (160908)
• United States
19 Nov 15
I am certain you really wanted the lecture about the pros and cons of coffee consumed in various ways. I think I need another cup now.
@cupkitties (7421)
• United States
19 Nov 15
Coffee enema? The Great Cornholio has moved on to the hard stuff I see.
i hope you enjoyed this video with The great cornholio who always wants Tp / toilet paper. thumps up and subscribe. :)
@Tampa_girl7 (50606)
• United States
19 Nov 15
I hope you enjoyed your coffee and are ready for the day now.
@TheHorse (220127)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 Nov 15
Coffee enema? I'm sipping my coffee right now. I thought briefly about which end would most enjoy my remaining half cup. I'm back to sipping away.
• United States
19 Nov 15
I am sure there are plenty of things we should not type into the search bar. When I read your title, I thought you had had an experience with a governmental security force of some kind.
@Bella128 (2471)
• United States
19 Nov 15
I guess it could possibly know if there was some kind of device that hooked up to your coffee machine...maybe you've thought of a new invention!