The Tables in My Life

@just4him (317249)
Green Bay, Wisconsin
November 26, 2015 6:59pm CST
I've been thinking about past holiday's and all the tables in my life. I'm sure I'm not alone when I say I started at the children's table. You know the table set up separate from the adult table. Then I moved up to the big table with the rest of the adults. Today there was another table. It was a table with missing people - There was always six plus at our table, the plus being the holidays with other relatives - grandparents and cousins. Today the table was missing my mother and brother. Mom passed a month ago and my brother a year ago. It was different. This is the kind of table I'll be sitting at in the future, and with Dad's health also frail, there could be another person missing at a holiday table next year. What were/are your tables like? Thanks for reading.
23 people like this
20 responses
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
27 Nov 15
last time I went, was still at the kids table, and all us kids were in our 20s!
5 people like this
• Centralia, Missouri
28 Nov 15
@just4him dad has two brothers, their wives, plus great grandma, grandpa, his wife. and a couple others I think.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Nov 15
@Jessicalynnt Yeah, I'd say that's a lot of adults.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Nov 15
There must be an awful lot of adults in your family.
1 person likes this
@valmnz (17097)
• New Zealand
27 Nov 15
I'm glad you wrote about those missing from your life this year. As you suggest, we're all getting older and we need to remember those no longer with us.
5 people like this
• United States
27 Nov 15
@valmnz I know in our family that those who are missing have left fond memories so the holidays are bittersweet. They might not physically be sitting at the table but they are there in spirit
3 people like this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Nov 15
@valmnz I know it's only going to get harder to look at the empty places at the table as we gather for special occasions.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Nov 15
@Marilynda1225 Yes they are.
@allknowing (137553)
• India
27 Nov 15
I love this post. I can start with the table at my mother's. We were so many siblings. Only father sat with us but mother ate last and that too in the kitchen. We had study tables too separate for boys and girls. Then when I got married we went in for a small rectangle table - money was the constraint. It was made of wood with a thick heat resistant plastic top then came the round wrought iron one with a glass top. Today we have a large table with an oval glass stop which cost us quite a penny. I cannot count the number that have eaten at this table. The computer table is specially designed with a pull out for the keyboard.
4 people like this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Nov 15
You have a lot of special tables
@marlina (154131)
• Canada
27 Nov 15
Unfortunately, the older we get the less people are at our table. So sad!
4 people like this
• Vancouver, Washington
27 Nov 15
Yea its very sad.
2 people like this
@Missmwngi (12915)
• Nairobi, Kenya
27 Nov 15
Very true Marie
2 people like this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Nov 15
@marlina It is sad. It's something I'm just realizing.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (472004)
• Switzerland
27 Nov 15
In our family, there are more missing people that people still alive. Anyway we do not separate tables, we all eat at the same table, children included.
3 people like this
@LadyDuck (472004)
• Switzerland
28 Nov 15
@just4him Yes, it makes me sad to remember when we were all together, now the family is very small.
2 people like this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Nov 15
@LadyDuck I am certain you have some good memories of those no longer sitting at your table.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Nov 15
There were too many of us to fit at one table. I imagine you have fond memories of all those no longer there.
1 person likes this
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
27 Nov 15
As kids, we never had a 'kids table'. We were always included in the main event.
3 people like this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Nov 15
That only happened for me when it was a small family meal, but mostly there were too many of us so there were two tables at holidays.
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
27 Nov 15
This year I sat at a table with a bunch of strangers. Tonight I will be with siblings. In the past, I was always surrounded by family, and there was always more family than we had room for. Those years of being overcrowded were the best years.
2 people like this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Nov 15
Yes they were. We always had so much fun on those holidays when we were crowded.
• United States
27 Nov 15
We were never made to sit apart at the dinner table as children. In fact, we usually didn't all fit at the table regardless. The younger kids ate with the parents, grandparents and aunts/uncles. The older kids amongst themselves mostly, but sometimes scattered amongst the rest of us. We have not had a proper holiday meal in years. This occurred after my brother passed away several years ago now, then my mom and uncle followed suit several years later with their own deaths being nearly a year apart. My reasoning is work + anxiety with too many people around. We aren't an estranged family by any means, but we are definitely strange in our traditions now.
3 people like this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Nov 15
It sounds like you had a very interesting time together at all your holidays.
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
27 Nov 15
My mother is in the nursing home and has been missing from the table for the last 3 years. Other than that, we were still a big group.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
28 Nov 15
@just4him With my 3 kids, 10 grandkids and 2 great grands and significant others and my nephew we can fill a room. All my granddaughters have boyfriends too.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Nov 15
I hope you remain a big group for a while to come.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Nov 15
@BelleStarr Sounds like things can get exciting around the holidays.
1 person likes this
@softbabe44 (5816)
• Vancouver, Washington
27 Nov 15
Yea we did the same the kids had the smaller table the adults had the much bigger table.
3 people like this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Nov 15
Those were fun days weren't they?
@bookbar (1609)
• Sudbury, England
27 Nov 15
As yours,filled with placemats of people no longer with us, but replenished with grandchildren, to take up the slack!
2 people like this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Nov 15
Fond memories and new joy to take up the slack but never replace those no longer with you.
1 person likes this
@sallypup (61566)
• Centralia, Washington
27 Nov 15
@justforhim I'm sorry for your losses. Its usually just me and hubby at our festive tables. This year my Mom is with us. I'm sure it will be our final time of Mom being with us. She plans to go back with a sister in the Spring. I come from a large family but also am the youngest. I don't remember much about the various tables. One crazy farm year does stand out, though.
3 people like this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Nov 15
Those crazy years are always the most fun.
1 person likes this
@birjudanak (14320)
• India
27 Nov 15
so sorry for your mom and brother,you managed it all table very well and because of holiday lots of people come,generally we are her first table for children after them men and the women.but when we are alone we are at same table.
2 people like this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Nov 15
Sounds like you have a large family also.
1 person likes this
@birjudanak (14320)
• India
28 Nov 15
@just4him ya its large family because mu dad has 2 brothers and six sisters and all are became grand parents so its to big.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
27 Nov 15
our dining table is already considered vintage. we had this since I was a small culd yet. it is made of steel, and the table itself is now changed to a heavier and sturdier wood. My late father occupied the "cabisera" of our rectangle table, while my mother occupied the seat an my father's right side.
2 people like this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Nov 15
It sounds like a lovely table.
@suzzy3 (8341)
27 Nov 15
A bit like yours we have lost most of our family during the last year. Different days ahead.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Nov 15
Yes they are.
@slund2041 (3314)
• United States
28 Nov 15
I am so sorry for your lost. I know it must be difficult to lose your mother and brother. My mother has been really sick this past year, and I was so terrify of losing her. She was having a lot of unexplained seizures.
• Greece
27 Nov 15
Missing people is a sad topic, not one that is going to cheer you up for Thanksgiving. There are only two at our table now but it is some consolation to me that four are at my son's and three at my daughter's. It is a pity that those tables are so many miles apart.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Nov 15
That is a consolation. I hope you get to see your children and grandchildren often.
• United States
27 Nov 15
I think it's the natural progression of life and as our tables get smaller as the years pass it seems life comes again full cycle and the table gets big again.
@Fleura (30539)
• United Kingdom
27 Nov 15
At times like this you notice more than ever the missing faces. I am sorry for your losses and I hope the happy memories of holidays past sustain you.
• Philadelphia, Mississippi
27 Nov 15
A variety of tables throughout my life. It seems we do buffet more now. It is sad to lose those you cherish and especially hard during the holiday! I too have many missing from our festivities and will also loose more in the future. I cherish the time I have with those alive and the memories of those passed.