Arranged Marriage or Love Marriage or Love after Marriage

India
January 8, 2016 2:09am CST
This is an interesting topic. How many of you think that in the case of an arranged marriage how can you decide the life partner by few meetings or sometimes in the first meet ? Has this thought come to any of the bachelors/spinsters around here. Or you simply don't want to think and just wait for the time till you find the right person. Or how about the last one that is Love after marriage. I hope I will get fascinating responses :)
10 people like this
14 responses
@Shiva49 (26776)
• Singapore
8 Jan 16
There should be understanding in a marriage between the couple. Others can introduce them to each other, if need be, and leave it at that. No question of parents deciding on their behalf like it used to happen during previous times. The final decision is by the couple - siva
3 people like this
@Shiva49 (26776)
• Singapore
8 Jan 16
@WriterMukund The problem is "I like you so much, but I can change my views" is the mantra nowadays! One should be indeed lucky to get a good life partner - many just end up tolerating each other - love or arranged marriage does not matter. I have seen soulmates in marriages and that is why it is said "marriages are made in heaven" - siva
1 person likes this
• India
8 Jan 16
@Shiva49 I totally agree with you. The final decision should be made by the couple. Also they should be given enough opportunities to know each other. The main point is that they should be truthful to each other. If they are truthful and they can be happy.
1 person likes this
@Mbalie (316)
• South Africa
8 Jan 16
Marriage is a lifetime commitment and one should marry the love of their life. However in some cultures its tradition for the family to arrange a marriage. I think in any situation time should be given to both parties to get to know each other and see if they are compatible.
2 people like this
• India
8 Jan 16
@Mbalie Yes, ample time should be provided so that the girl and boy know enough about each other. As I mentioned in my earlier comment, they should be truthful to each other.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
8 Jan 16
Love marriage for me. If someone introduce me to a man, and we get along well and looking at same direction and we fall in love, why not? I will only marry someone that I love.
1 person likes this
@IreneVincent (15962)
• United States
9 Jan 16
Some arranged marriages are very successful, IF both persons involved work at their relationship. Personally, I would be afraid to marry under those circumstances, but I know that it is still done in some countries, even today. In the Bible, there are some successful stories of arranged marriages. Are you a Bible reader? Let me recommend a wonderful web site to you: On this site you can read the Bible and Bible based articles on many different subjects in your own language. Being from India, I'm sure you speak another language besides English, which I think is wonderful. You may even speak more than one Indian language, since there are so many different languages used there. On this site, you can also watch FREE videos and request FREE literature in many different languages. I go to this site often and watch interesting videos and read many articles. I highly recommend it to you and your family. What religion do you follow, if any?
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Jan 16
@WriterMukund I thought perhaps you were Hindu. Even so, reading the Bible is something that every human should do, I think, mainly because it is the most widely distributed book in the world. Does the Hindu religion have a "Holy Book" to read?
1 person likes this
• India
9 Jan 16
@IreneVincent Yes we Hindus also have a holy book to read. It is called the "Bhagvad Gita". There are numerous other scriptures, books as well.
• India
9 Jan 16
Great, Thanks. Since I am not a Christian never read the Bible. I am a Hindu.
1 person likes this
@hiru84 (942)
• Malaysia
8 Jan 16
Love marriages are better than others. We can understand our partner and we can choose the best person for our lives after love affair. Marriage isn't a small thing and it's a great event of life. Marriage is the second birth of human. So I think, if we marriage after understand our partner, we never divorce them.
1 person likes this
• India
8 Jan 16
@hiru84 I partially agree with you. You are right about knowing each other but it doesn't mean that in the matches made by the family that opportunity is not given. In that scenario also the boy and the girl can discuss about their priorities, likes and dislikes, any confessions to make. They should open up about each other and be truthful about them. Hence I believe trust, honesty, understanding are the pillars of the relationship, let it be love marriage or arranged. Coming to your point about divorce, it is not always true that the couple who were in love prior to marriage do not divorce. Many love stories have a bitter ending. So if the same level of love and understanding which was existing prior to wedding is maintained then they can be a one happy couple.
1 person likes this
@hiru84 (942)
• Malaysia
8 Jan 16
@WriterMukund Yes, sometimes it might be. When divorce many love marriages' couples, some proposed marriages still happy. I think best thing is live with understanding another. But successfully love stories have sweet memories.
1 person likes this
• India
8 Jan 16
@hiru84 Yes, that is the final thing everyone wants, let it be love or arranged, they should live happily together. Of course there will be small tiffs but they should not brigs gaps in their relationships. The tiffs should be resolved amicably and there should be a proper understanding between the couple.
1 person likes this
@ram9523 (55)
• Bangalore, India
8 Jan 16
@WrterMukund,In our family we are in favour of arranged marriages.All my elder brothers and sisters are now married and their marriages were arranged.And all of them are living a happy married life. Somewhere I had once read,there's nothing great if you marry a girl you love.What's great is you should love the girl you marry.
1 person likes this
• Bangalore, India
8 Jan 16
@WriterMukund Absolutely right.I agree with each and every word you have said here.You can't love a person without knowing them properly and you can't know a person unless and until you live with them.Generally in our society love marriages are not supported.Despite successful cases of arranged marriages in my family I can't say that all arranged marriages are successful.
1 person likes this
• India
8 Jan 16
@ram9523 Glad to know that you are in agreement with my views. Yes, you are true, there are many botched marriages, either they can be arranged or love.
1 person likes this
• India
8 Jan 16
@ram9523 I agree with you. The last line what you mentioned is cool :) But in today's world where we stay away from family, work with people where it may be the case you find a person whom you believe can be your life partner and love may blossom. You never know when love happens or how it happens. It may be an instantaneous love at first sight, or it may start over mutual help such as helping each other in the workplace or sometimes it may even start with a fight. These situations might lead you to know that person better and in the journey you may find that person as the perfect match for you. Hence love marriages are not wrong to the point that even after marriage you maintain the same love and share the same bond. It would be great if the love and the binding increases manifold. Then the same couple can be provided as an example and a point can be proven that love-marriage couples can also be happily.
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18391)
• Orangeville, Ontario
8 Jan 16
I've been watching the television show "Married At First Sight". These people take a real chance by meeting their spouse at the altar, but they trust the experts to pair them up with the "right" person. So far, only two of the six relationships (2 seasons) are still together. The third season is airing now and only one relationship was a hit right from the get-go. I wouldn't want an arranged marriage but I wish my parents had introduced me to some eligible sons of friends of their's. My options, opportunities and choices have been limited. But I would still want to marry for love and not a complete stranger. I'm not opposed to being introduced to someone though.
• Greece
8 Jan 16
I'm a free-spirited person who believes that i should always decide for myself and not let people decide for me. I'll give my parents a chance to introduce me to a guy and that's it but not to arrange my marriage or let me get married to a guy I don't know. I"m not against it as I think parents want to make sure that their children will marry someone who will be a great husband or wife but they should be given time to know each other or have the privilege to back out. But I've read some interviews about people who got married through arranged marriage and some said that they didn't regret it because they fell inlove along the way. Otherwise, if love is present even before or after the wedding, then it's all good.
• Greece
8 Jan 16
@WriterMukund I think the only reason why I'm against arranged marriage is because some parents do it for the sake of money or to pay a loan. That's why you could hear news about teenagers being married to an older man, almost as old as her grandfather. But if it's a family friend that my parents love so much, I'll be willing to go to a process of knowing him and very well, let our parents arranged our marriage if we find each other as a perfect partner.
1 person likes this
• India
8 Jan 16
@olivetree27 That is a very sad situation and I have also seen and heard such things. Those are really bad for the couple as well as the society because youngsters could lose hope on the arranged marriage thing.
1 person likes this
• India
8 Jan 16
@olivetree27 A good response indeed. Yes, the boy and the girl should be given time and they should understand each other. They should also honor each other's likes and dislikes however small it maybe.
1 person likes this
@ria1606roy (2797)
• Kolkata, India
8 Jan 16
Arrange marriages work out well sometimes, because the parents find out suitable partners who are nearly compatible with their son or daughter. And to live together in this world as a married couple, compatibility is very much required. That automatically brings love in the couple. I'm not against any marriage...different kinds of marriage are suitable for different persons. In love marriages, some find difficult to adapt living together due to some personal habits, but I believe if the love is strong that bond is enough to hold them together as a glue and make them adapt.
@cpefley (1926)
• San Jose, California
8 Jan 16
I don't believe in arranged marriages. I think that marriages aren't necessary unless two people who love each other agree to spend their lives together. I'm 37 and got married for the first time 2 weeks ago. I didn't want to get married before I met him. I had 5 kids, a few bad relationships, but didn't meet my soulmate until I was 35.
@trivia79 (7828)
• El Segundo, California
8 Jan 16
arranged marriage is best for families with corporate businesses. love marriage is best for 2 person who deeply love each other before and after marriage. love after marriage is best for those who want to escape from their troublesome past.
@trivia79 (7828)
• El Segundo, California
9 Jan 16
@WriterMukund I commented what I commented because those are what I saw mostly on the television shows and movies. In reality, I only care about love marriage.
1 person likes this
• India
9 Jan 16
@trivia79 I do not totally agree with you in this matter. Arranged marriage can happen between any normal class families also, not only corporate business. Yes in case of corporate families it is more of a business deal rather than a bonding. But in other simple families it can happen. Again it depends upon the boy and the girl. If they like each other after few meetings they can go ahead. Regarding love marriage I do not agree. It is not necessary for all to have a troublesome past and hence get into love and then get married.
1 person likes this
• India
9 Jan 16
@trivia79 Yes, I totally appreciate your viewpoints and I expressed mine. Maybe yes, you might have seen only those kind of arranged marriages and hence that kind of perception.
1 person likes this
@Scindhia (1906)
• India
8 Jan 16
I personally think you just know when you meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Something just shifts inside that you know you can never be the same again after that moment of love. That's when you should get married.
1 person likes this
• Jabalpur, India
8 Jan 16
Parents always search the right person for their child..We should always try to understand the person we are getting married..We all have been gifted withsixth sense that warn us at our wrong decisions.. we should always cross check the person..
1 person likes this
@BluestEye (226)
• India
8 Jan 16
Love marriage only