Loneliness
@jillybean1222 (6407)
February 10, 2016 9:29pm CST
I think most people would be surprised to know that I often feel lonely. I've always seemed like: Social Jill; Fun Jill; Happy-go-lucky Jill; Jill with Friends; Jill the one with Moms' Nights; Jill the one who goes to the gym almost daily; Jill the one with kids; Jill.
But I'm honestly quite lonely. I realized it even more so today.
See, I gave up Facebook for lent. I normally spend TOO MUCH time there each day where I interact with my 600 + "Friends." I messaged a couple other friends today, but there wasn't much conversation. In fact, when I needed a friend (I was having a slight anxiety attack), neither of them answered me.
And realized how hollow this virtual world can seem. But then I realized, it's not just the virtual world. How hollow are my many, many friendships?
I have many friendships. I do. But how many of them are profoundly meaningful?
I don't know. i'm in a bad mood today. I'm pretty sure I am PMS-ing; thus hormones may be playing a part in this ho hum feeling that I'm experiencing.
Do you ever feel lonely? Do you think people would be surprised to learn that you are?
31 people like this
34 responses
@jillybean1222 (6407)
•
11 Feb 16
yes, that's the truth! it's a yucky feeling. and it is not that i even mind being alone. I enjoy my alone time as well.
2 people like this
@jillybean1222 (6407)
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12 Feb 16
@T_gray yep. i know that feeling far too well! i'm often among a group that I feel like I'm not quite the same as... like I don't quite fit in, even though they have NO idea i feel that way
2 people like this
@T_gray (7774)
• Salina, Kansas
12 Feb 16
@jillybean1222 The worst part is when you feel lonely in a room full of people...
2 people like this
@jillybean1222 (6407)
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11 Feb 16
yes, i do a good job of hiding my lonely feelings.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
11 Feb 16
thats why I m ylot a lot to keep in to uch with my old and new friends as IK lovein a retirement c enter and there are 150 people here and mayber fou r who give a flying fig about me hatley having a lot of people where you are does not mean a heckuva lot lol
3 people like this
@jillybean1222 (6407)
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11 Feb 16
yes, i do seem busy. i do keep active. i don't know. i just would love to have a really close friend who lives close by that i see and can stop by on a whim. my best friend lives 2 hours away. we chat via email daily. my other best friend and i chat daily, but we rarely see each other. and we just lead different lives. i have a fellow mom friend whom i chat with almost daily, but sh has a lot going on in her life and it's just hard to get close. sigh.
3 people like this
@Morleyhunt (21744)
• Canada
11 Feb 16
Loneliness can affect all of us. When I first moved to where we live now, I went through a long period of extreme loneliness. This said, I often enjoy being alone.
2 people like this
@jillybean1222 (6407)
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11 Feb 16
yes, it feels a bit funny because i often crave being alone. i guess i rarely am actually alone though.
1 person likes this
@jillybean1222 (6407)
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12 Feb 16
@JohnRoberts that's why i tend to stay up late after the kids go to sleep. that's my alone time. i also go to the gym where i am exercising, but there are other folks there
1 person likes this
@JohnRoberts (109846)
• Los Angeles, California
11 Feb 16
@jillybean1222 We all need alone time. It's therapeutic.
2 people like this
@Ladypeace (2028)
• Singapore
11 Feb 16
Yeah, I agree that many friendships we have can be superficial. Sometimes it could be boredom that drives loneliness.
3 people like this
@Ladypeace (2028)
• Singapore
11 Feb 16
@jillybean1222 I can empathize with you. It's more or less a sad and empty feeling.
1 person likes this
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
11 Feb 16
i think feeling lonely is a normal thing to every one but just be careful to not nurture your loneliness for long so it won't elevate to depression. Find something around you that will make you happy. I'm sure there are, just open your eyes.
1 person likes this
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
11 Feb 16
@jillybean1222 you are not the only one, i've heard lots of women going through the same phase in their life, maybe it really has to do with hormonal changes.
1 person likes this
@jillybean1222 (6407)
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12 Feb 16
@salonga i know my hormones are raging today! :-)
1 person likes this
@jillybean1222 (6407)
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11 Feb 16
i'm rarely actually alone. and i am busy. but sometimes i just feel lonely. it's weird.
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30414)
• Eugene, Oregon
11 Feb 16
I am lonely myself, since I have no one around me to talk to. The only people I talk to daily, are my ex husband, and my daughter. My son will call once in a while, but he is so busy with work, I don't hear from him much. I was divorced eight years ago next month, and I have been coping being lonely, although it can be difficult at time. I was used to being with somone for 35 years, and now that I am alone, thigs are quite different I am used to my independence as I can come and go as I please, without anyone telling me I shouldn't.
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30414)
• Eugene, Oregon
12 Feb 16
@jillybean1222 My kids are both grown and have families of their own, so after 35 years of marriage, the rug was pulled out from under me, when my husband asked me for a divorce. I was very hurt, and I thought we had a good marriage, but I guess now. Well, since I have been divorced for 8 years, I have learned how to make it on my own, and it hasn't been easy all that much, but I am surviving. I have my freeedom, so that is a good thing,as I like to be able to come and go as I please and not be told I can't.
@jillybean1222 (6407)
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12 Feb 16
sometimes i used to think there was an appeal to that. as my children grow older, i feel sad thinking of being alone again (i'm married, but i'm always with my kids)
1 person likes this
@CookieMonster46 (13454)
• United States
12 Feb 16
seriously , I am around too many that drive me crazy , so I couldn't find lonely if I wanted to.. I do know what you mean with friendships. Honestly the majority of my friends, text me , message, don't call, too busy so it is a online friendship.Since the internet and cell phones, I don't hear or see people as often.
1 person likes this
@CookieMonster46 (13454)
• United States
12 Feb 16
@jillybean1222 , there used to be times when I felt lonely, so Yes, I do know, but right now no. If my life could slow down just bit, I would be thrilled.
@jillybean1222 (6407)
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12 Feb 16
Most of the time I do understand because we are all busy, but sometimes it just feels a bit lonely. Like you, often i can't find a moment alone though
1 person likes this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
3 Feb 17
Men (more so than women, I have read) have difficulty making lasting friends after high school and college. I had many acquaintances in the world of business when I worked full time and when I run into them now it is a bit like old home week, but we were never really "friends." I play pool and ping pong with a number of people where we now live, all very "friendly." I suppose that friendship, like so much else in our world, has changed it definition.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40243)
• United States
3 Feb 17
Interesting -- I too have wondered at how people define friends. I have close friends with whom I share a lot of personal things - I can talk about anything with these people. I also have friends who I see a lot - but we never really share personal details. And I have "friends" who I see when I'm out - and they're friendly but we don't especially get together. It seems like there should be different words for each of these types. -- I wonder if the men & lasting friendships things is due to woman tend to talk more about emotions... ? (Or maybe that's just a stereotype, too?)
1 person likes this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
3 Feb 17
@FayeHazel I think that is true. Men are reluctant to appear to be vulnerable to emotions.
@fishtiger58 (29820)
• Momence, Illinois
11 Feb 16
I have my husband here and my oldest son still living with us. It's not often I feel lonely. There are times I just want them to both go do something and leave me alone lol.
2 people like this
@jillybean1222 (6407)
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11 Feb 16
and yes, i get that. there are many times i crave being alone
2 people like this
@JohnRoberts (109846)
• Los Angeles, California
11 Feb 16
I believe there are very true friendships and most are casual and superficial. There's a big difference between bowling and party pals than the person who gives up their time to help you move or be there when in need. Facebook and all this online thing is unreal. Call them online friendships but they can never be equated with a look 'em in the eye friendship where you interact not just with words but eye contact and body language.
2 people like this
@Nancyyuan (9)
• Changsha, China
3 Feb 17
Hello,I'm your new mylotter, you said you feel lonely, I'm not jueging you, I think you should get out of your room and make some true friend,no matter who they are
1 person likes this
@jillybean1222 (6407)
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3 Feb 17
hello, welcome. i do get out. i'm very social, but i still somehow often feel lonely
1 person likes this
@Nancyyuan (9)
• Changsha, China
4 Feb 17
@jillybean1222 Hello,thank you. You look very attractive, I think you will find your way, when I feel lonely, I will stay with my family and my friends,or have a trip,or reading, as far as possible enrich my soul, hh,maybe you need to find a boyfriend.
@Blondie2222 (28611)
• United States
14 Feb 16
I always feel lonely too. I have alot of friends on facebook and maybe 3 or 4 real life but we all get so busy we don't keep in contact. I miss my friends and doing things with them. I hate being alone all the time so I know how you feel
1 person likes this
@jillybean1222 (6407)
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14 Feb 16
yes, life gets busy. and i know that people don't mean to forget about each other... but sometimes it's easy to wallow in my self-pity :-) sigh.
@allknowing (136456)
• India
13 Feb 16
I have long given up depending on anyone to ward of my loneliness. My memories - happy memories are my companions and they do a pretty good job to keep me happy. For example I will think of the holidays many holidays traveling to so many countries - reliving them.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (37355)
• Toccoa, Georgia
11 Feb 16
Sometimes I do feel lonely but I try not to let it get me down.
1 person likes this
@sofssu (23662)
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11 Feb 16
I don't feel lonely, never have. I hope you do get someone to listen to you.
FB is one hollow place.. or at least that is what I think.
I guess sometimes people are busy with the drama going on in their lives they don't have time for others. Many of my friends just call me and I listen to them sometime for hours.
1 person likes this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
11 Feb 16
I feel lonely a lot but then again, I am home by myself all week until my brother comes home from work. Some days are better than others but yesterday it hit me really hard. My brother had someone from corporate in the office and took them out to dinner. He didn't get home until 10pm so it was a really long and lonely day for him. I will be so glad when I start feeling like my old self again and can go out and do things on my own.
1 person likes this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
12 Feb 16
@jillybean1222 I think so too. It can be a little depressing stuck inside all the time.
1 person likes this
@jillybean1222 (6407)
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11 Feb 16
I'm sorry. I think it is best when we can find outside activities that we enjoy
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (116936)
• Anniston, Alabama
11 Feb 16
I am often lonely but never alone. I have friends on line and off but none I could turn to for a heart to heart. So I completely get it.
1 person likes this
@jillybean1222 (6407)
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11 Feb 16
and i even enjoy being alone sometimes. sometimes i crave that aloneness. but that's different from being lonely, isn't it? sigh.
