BoyFriend Girlfriend Relationship VS parents relationship

@jeff_kenly i get what your trying to say. If i would be in your position, i would also love to spend time for my mom as much as i spend time with the girl. but don't be upset, i know you'll find a solution for your problem eventually, just think positive and everything will be okay. i really hope so.

@abrielle28 well, hahaha.. yea! you can feel am very upset right now right? I'm actually confuse how to solve this problem. both of them really want to get my attention.

Thank you. I do understand what you mean. And that what i feel in a way also. But i have learnt the most important thing in my life. Never take relationship.. even with your parents' relationship for granted. I cannot ignore my mum's desire to spend time with me as she does feel neglected when i choose my gf instead of her.. and I understand perfectly that if i dont spend enough time with the gf, she might tell me to go away. Its just so complicate when you are in a situation where you cannot really make time for each other as their time always crash.

Mum is someone who has been taking care of you since you are small. Maybe not for you. But for me, i consider her one of my love ones.. Telling her to back off is too much rude for me. sorry

@jeff_kenly tell your girlfriend to back off then. You're going to have to tell someone something or your situation will just carry on.

@Mike197602 Exactly! Why do parents be in between.

Well.. Its true that my girlfriend is far and I can chat or skype with her. but we did keep in touch everyday. there is my mum who think i spend too much time with her. For instance, yesterday, it was sunday and my parents and I went out dinner at night and came back around 8pm. as soon as i reach home, i called my gf and while i was talking, my mum came and asked me to do something for her, I told her that later I'm talking to my gf. That was where she got angry and told me that i prefer to talk to my gf instead of helping her. Do you understand?

@jeff_kenly yes, i did get it Jeff. thanks for elaborating. you actually dont have to choose. you cant put mothers in that scenario because shes your mom no matter what. its a matter of understanding and managing your time for both. for example, out from that instance you shared, if your mom asks you to do something for her, tell her 'yes' but give her a timeframe so she knows how long she'll wait. dont just tell her that you're still talking to your girlfriend because its becoming an issue to your mom. then tell your girlfriend that you have to go do something for your mom but you will get back to her or make it up to her.

@MGjhaud Hahaha.. Its true.. you are right! thank you so much for your advice. it really helped. I hope i can manage my time better for a better relationship in the future.

@jeff_kenly I got confused. You are a family man with a girlfriend?

@Shavkat I am a family person. means that i like to be with my family. I put my parents first in everything. understand now?

Hahaha,, it does sounds like am a mama's boy.. but no, am a family person who love his family more than anything. I just do want to make everyone happy, thats all. but it does seem so hard to make it happen

@jeff_kenly I am unmarried.I agree with you that being the eldest son you have more duties towards your parents.I am glad to know that you are going to be engaged soon.Wish you a blessed and blissful married life in advance.

Yes, thank you for understanding, I'm the first son and I bear more duties towards my parents than you imagined.. oh well.. yes! My parents knows my relationship with my gf. we are planning to get engaged this July and if you are parent, you should understand their feeling.

@else34 Thank you so much for your wishes. I do hope everything will be going for the best.

Hi, I guess you are a mum yourself, am i right?

Yes Anne.. i wish it could be easier than just explain.

@jeff_kenly if you are open to mom tell her about you are facing

Can you tell me more about what you mean that my mother see is friendly? thank you

@abhinalstrikr Hahaha.. oh yea. i did it a couple of weeks before. it comes into one ear and out from another ear. she said she understood, but unfortunately, at the end, she forgot and turns out a quarrel again. Oh man..

@jeff_kenly Not a planned person. Actually I put my family first too like you. I have witnessed my elder cousins going through this thing too. First case I witnessed, he favored his mother more stating she gave birth to him and took care of him for years. She sacrificed many things for him. I am not pushing her aside. So, he pushed her wife's feelings aside. He did right with his Mom but wronged his wife. Even though the wife hasn't been in his life long, didn't mean she was any less important that the mother. He forgot she was his other half who he has to spend his life with have a family of their own. Not a good foundation for that future family now is it? Not a good example for the future children either. Second case I witnessed, he favored his wife and became distant with his Mom. Now the mother was wronged while wife as given priority. Another bad example for your future kids. Don't be shocked when your own kids would push you aside in favor of their significant others. Third case? He put his foot down and declared that I love you both and I can't live without you both. If you have differences with each other sort it in between you. Do not involve me. I can't choose one above the other. It is not fair to me. Because in either case it is I who loses. I won't say that they live happily ever after because there are ups and downs in every relationship. But yes the push and pull has balanced out.

@Daljinder Hahaha.. I would choose the third case if its that the simplest thing to do. Obviously everyone would asked for the third case as it seems to be the most convenient one for everyone to be happy. Yes, thank you for your story. It is happening that my cousin is favoring his wife more than his family itself and this story came to my mum's ears and of course she is being very caution and she became more protective of me. I do understand my mum;s feeling but it doesn't make it easy to fix it.

Haha.. seems like you are a very planned person. thats a comment in a good way. thanks for your advice. i"ll try to follow it and it might be hard cause am not a planned person. i do things with whatever i have.

Hahaha.. thats the most wonderful scenario i would be if i could make it happen. but it does seems so different to make it happen. just take time i suppose.